ate a chili

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I got laser hair surgery and now my pubes have 20/20 vision

T-shirt that says I bought this T-shirt and all I got was this T-shirt and I guess a receipt too and also kind of a weird glare what was that about

I put my phone in do not disturb mode but it still told me when I'd die

When someone says "I like you a lot" it's typically short for "parking lot" which is what the love song Big Yellow Taxi is about

QR codes are a type of empowered rune which summon a...you know what those could just be anything, are people going around stickering shock image links over menu codes, is there something preventing that? That's scary, don't go outside y'all

They're calling it the placebo of invasive surgery

I'm trying out a new type of paper currency which gives vending machines indigestion

Following traditional alphabetization rules of ignoring starting articles, the new edition of the Merriam-Webster Dictionary has opted to entirely omit definitions for "the" and "a"

Fuck your horse and you it walked in under

The Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon, also know as the Sodium-Potassium Pump, is a mechanism by which the sodium ions in your brain and the potassium molecules in red cars perform a frequency interchange

I feel so inspired I could write a hit piece against loam

400,000 years of bread technology and scientists still haven't found a use for anything more complex than a caraway rye