ate a chili

Make your own lube at home! Click here to learn more.

My calves are sore from running circles around the adult cattle

If you google something that only 1 person has ever googled before, it should notify you both and set up like a date or a duel

I have a swollen lorax

I won a lifetime fucking supply of whole kernel dog grains

The ceiling fan is negging me

Bands are always being named something like spoon, ween, pond, goose, flop, whiz, gorp, spooge, bonk, clop, stoop, porch, patio, balcony, veranda, deck, gazebo, stuff like that

It's only a seaplane if you can see it, otherwise it's a heerplane

You're a line item on the balance sheet of my heart and baby, I'm cooking the books

Enough horse idioms. It's the year of the ant, make it count. Don't look a gift ant in the mouth. Don't count your ants before they hatch. An ant in the hand is worth two in the bush. Three wrongs don't make an ant. An ant under advisory is wiser than thee. Keep your ants close and your antlions closer. You'll never be an ant if you don't sing like one. The heart is a lock but an ant is the key. Float like an ant and sting like one too. Reflect on an ant, become heaven sent. Every ant is unique. There are many ways to skin an ant. There are many unique ant skins. Every ant has a unique skin. You could skin an ant. You could sell the skin of an ant. You could profit off an ant. You wouldn't skin an ant. You wouldn't harm an ant. You're a monster. You're a monster. You're a monster. You're a monster.