ate a chili

Make your own lube at home! Click here to learn more.

practical benefits of knowledge?

my dental hygienist lets me keep all the plaque she scrapes off which I've been using to slowly sculpt a life-size statue of my cully culkin

I invented poop glue. and it's NOT what you think

In most elite chef schools they don't let you work with ingredients til year four

Nobody knows where the light goes when we turn it off

Nobody knows what powers electric appliances. They keep plugging them into walls so we can't take them away to investigate.

looksminners, funnily enough, also smash their faces with hammers

Surely there's got to be at least ONE good post in these 60 drafts

I cooked and ate maculay culking texas style and all I got was this full round belly