SHIELD's Hawk

"Relax Jaz, you know I respect your baby." Clint grinned, making sure to wipe his boots off on the out-door carpet on the step before climbing up into the van. "All trackers planted, no one made me, and we've got eyes and ears all over that place. Ready to sit and listen."

—#—

Sitwell refrained his rolling his eyes when Clint referred to the van as his baby, but he did sigh softly “I used to flat helicopters, you know.” He shook his head slightly and concentrated on the matter at hand.

Based on the evidence from the films, I divided our six into three groups.

Group 1: Don't cook and don't try

Clint

Throughout his journey in the MCU, Clint has shown no signs of cooking skills, only eating skills.

We've seen him eating Laura's food, obviously, Grills' cooking, restaurant food and takeout. But he's never cooked on screen, and hasn't shown any willingness to do so.

Nat

No evidence of culinary skills, despite the assumption that it would be wise for the Red Room to teach Black Widows to be good housewives. The Red Room did not, as we can observe in this illustration:

And in this scene:

Nat was never seen cooking, and even when it made sense to cook, she chose ready-to-eat foods or simply made a sandwich.

But she knows how to make cocktails, so that's a plus.

Group 2: Do try, but they better not

Steve

Self-admitted that he sucks at cooking, but at least he tries.

It makes sense that he knows the basics, but he learned them during a time of not-so-great taste. It doesn't look like he was trying to take it to the next level, but it does look like others have had some experience with his cooking, and now it's an entertaining topic.

Tony

Eggs.

He can cook eggs. With varying success. What else he can do (with more consistent success) is start fires and experiments.

For which he ends up being kicked out of the kitchen of his own house.

By the way, the kitchen is officially Pepper's, which already says something.

Group 3: Cook and do it well

Bruce

Bruce can cook. But despite the fanon that he is a super chef who can cook dishes from all the cuisines of the world, there is no evidence of this in the films.

Instead, we are shown him preparing very simple dishes, and he is not always confident in his skills.

Perhaps between his solo film and She-Hulk he's gotten better in that regard.

What he definitely knows how to do is prepare different cocktails.

Thor

If this post can be considered a top list, then Thor will most likely be our winner.

He cooks food from different cuisines (apparently from different planets), serves it skillfully, learns quickly and shows enthusiasm.

And we can see this already in his first film. When he first arrived on Earth, he was already using the toaster oven and making French toasts, which he had probably never tried before.

He then cooked for Jane and learned to make excellent pancakes, judging by her reaction.

And even though his food doesn't always look appetizing to Midgardians, he knows what he's doing.

He can also make you a Bloody Mary for breakfast.

Thus, once again we come to the destruction of stereotypes. This time the stereotype that since Thor had servants for most of his long life, he cannot have the desire to cook and cannot learn and do it well. In fact, he turns out to be the closest thing on the team to a professional chef.

Horses are much gentler on sensitive ecosystems, they're more flexible in rocky terrain, and they don't topple over on a hillside.

They can enter dense forests and drag out one specific tree without damaging the other trees and without compacting or eroding the soil.

They also run on hay instead of gas or electricity. Horses don't pollute the ecosystem with either oil leaks, gas stench, or noise.

THIS IS AN URGENT MESSAGE.

IN 2014, IN SCHAUMBURG , ILLINOIS, USA

THERE

WILL

BE

A

TUMBLR CONVENTION!!!

THESE ARE THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE THAT ARE MAKING IT HAPPEN

SIGNAL BOOST THIS GUYS

My boy Boromir? Spent FOUR MONTHS in the wilderness! Alone! No roads! High floods! His horse died! I’m amazed he showed up to Imladris wearing clothes, let alone with a decent haircut. I’m fully convinced that he left Gondor looking like Richard Sharpe being presented to the Prince Regent in 1813

*electric guitar riff*

And then rocked up to Imladris a hundred ten days later like

A few months later

All hail the High Warden of Gondor.

If it sounds like the composer might be a vampire, it's Bach.

If it sounds like the composer is mansplaining to you, it's Wagner.

If it sounds like the composer is playing Star Wars 60 years early, it's Holst

"...Princess" (Derogatory)

"Princess." (You have disproven several of my previous assumptions but I'm still guarded and critical.)

"Princess," (Mildly impressed but still snarky)

"Princess," (I am coming to terms with how much your office has demanded of you and am finally considering you an equal)

"Princess," (I genuinely respect you, your office, and how much you have grown beyond it since we have met.)

"Princess." (Uh oh I've started catching feelings and am now using your title to remind both you and myself of the distance between us.)