feeling like leaving my job but i don’t want to have no income again. health insurance is another concern but i could get it through james’ job. as usual coming up on the 2 year mark at a job i’m starting to feel the deep existential dread at the idea of *this* being my *career,* the thing i’m committing to doing every weekday for the foreseeable future and how i definitely do not want that for me.
idk i really do feel like i’m never going to be fulfilled until i’m making a living doing something creative and my own. i’m taking a screenwriting class at the community college this summer and i’m hoping it will spur me into practicing for writing as a career. if i could have a life where i work really hard on something for a stretch of time and then the money i make from that lasts me a couple months off, i feel like that would work for me.
there’s so many life milestones i want that i feel like i’m right in the right age range for but haven’t quite gotten there yet myself. and it’s so hard to find the momentum to do it but you gotta bc the stuff you want is only just out of your reach until you make the effort, put one foot in front of the other and suddenly it’s right there and you can touch it. like i have the wisdom to know that now but i still need the energy and the courage to do it. signing up for the summer class was kind of like me reminding myself, you’re going to have to *do something* to get what you want. i’m hoping it’s the right kind of boost i need.
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