"What Fresh Hell Can This Be?"

this is even better than Major Major in Catch-22

Oh no, a plan I had today was cancelled, now I have to allocate that block of time to something else but it has Plan Residue all over it, fuck,

u know someone’s about to get dragged through the mud when an academic uses the phrase ‘it’s tempting to assume’

“it’s tempting to assume” is academic speaking for “you might think, if you’re a fucking idiot,”

nurse feratu and dr. acula are ready to see you for your blood tests

how much does the aurora borealis weigh

it's pretty light

WHO tf keeping pads with no wings in production?? Put it in your draws and by the time you walk out the bathroom it’s down the street buying scratch offs at the corner store. Like girl

one of my favorite genres of post is "evocative imagery"

the name "theresa" is so funny like. theres a what

de naam 'eris' is zo grappig. er is wat?

Navnet "erik" er så spøgst. Han er ik hvad?

Mi fa troppo ridere il nome "Donna", sì ho capito che sei una donna ma come ti chiami

Mae'r enwau "Beth" a "Pam" yn mor ddoniol. Pam beth? Beth pam?

A spoon's only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That's why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there's suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.

This is the FUNNIEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN

Reblogging for cultural enrichment