up jumped the devil

TOOLTIP: you can get more funny juice by performing the "jerking off" activity. find it by selecting genitals from your inventory!

> use genitals

You can't use that right now!

> use hand on genitals

You can't use that right now!

> use genitals on hand

You can't use that right now!

> help

man fuck this game

Forcing myself to go to my hometown tomorrow. Hope my car doesn’t blow up

So the check engine light went off yayyy

I need a polite and effective way to say "hey your heart is truly in the right place and your anger is often righteous but I think sometimes you’re getting recreationally mad about things that are frankly not worth the amount of energy you’re spending on them, and every time you do this you're driving yourself slightly more insane with nothing to show for it," and then I need a way to broadcast that message through a loudspeaker to roughly 30,000 people at once, and THEN I need a time machine to send that message to my past self lol. and maybe a second time machine in case past me tries to be clever and sabotage the version of me who comes through the first time machine

ok guys but imagine how hard it's gonna hit if something good ever happens again

ask game: you stalk my blog and then tell me what you think is wrong with me