this job market is a fucking nightmare

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@shedreamerwings
this job market is a fucking nightmare

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i started reading this book and kept tilting my head at the comparisons the author was using so i started a running list of them
this author's use of imagery is so questionable
i actually went "what the fuck" and had to stop for like 5 minutes after this one
these sort of descriptions are better used in first person or third person limited, used to make your main character quirky and quick-witted
because if you use them in third person omniscient im going to assume the narrator is an actual character in your book who is 1) more interesting than your main characters and 2) a god who is going to step in eventually and change the genre to absurdism
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Randomly remembered seeing this random old black and white photo from like the 50s, pretty sure it was from Sweden. A picture from a morgue, of a tall blond man in some kind of an uniform approaching another man standing beside an opened coffin, clutching something to his chest while looking at the approaching man with a look of wary insult on his face. The caption explained that this was an incident of a police officer stopping a man from putting a bottle of beer in his father's coffin (his own father, not the cop's father) because for some reason doing that was against Sweden's burial laws.
I don't remember the details but I recall how the guy had the looks of a rough life written all over him, ragged clothes in contrast to the police officer's pristine uniform - though obscured by motion blur as he was rapidly approaching with hateful intent - and the much finer burial clothes of the deceased. A small, skinny man with black hair, holding onto the bottle that's about to be confiscated like it's something precious to him.
I felt like something wasn't adding up and went to the comments to see if there was additional context that was missing from all this, and there was: The son and the father were Romani, and at least at the time it was still very much a tradition in Swedish Romani culture to bury the dead with little gifts - not necessarily extravagant or expensive, but things that the lost loved one would have liked.
This wasn't about a mourning son being stopped from playfully paying his respects in a way that someone else thought indignified. This was about a man being prohibited from performing his own peoples' funeral rites.
Had to go find the photo, it's indeed Swedish. Taken by Åke Borglund and photo of the year 1958, apparently.
Source: https://digitaltmuseum.se/021016531349/arets-bild-1958-tagen-i-stillhetens-kapell-tid-uppstandelsens-kapell-i
Holy fuck you found it.
I misremembered, it wasn't a morgue, those are empty church pews.
@smolincurious also if I know anything about nordic romani, they are wildly communal and social people. I've never seen one go or be anywhere alone voluntarily. Their funerals are a massive matter, up to hundreds of people. If you knew the deceased at all, you attend the funeral, full stop, doesn't matter how far you have to travel for it. The fact that he appears to be having the funeral alone would imply that he is alone in the world.
This one resonated with me

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There are exactly two takes on 'do your child soldiers kill people or not?' that I really respect, and it's Fullmetal Alchemist and Animorphs.
Everyone always speaks about a parent's love for their children, but no one ever talks about how much children love their parents. Parents can abuse their children for years, and those kids will still show up to the funeral. Those kids still hold out for an "I love you". Those kids still feel bad for not calling on mothers day or fathers day or birthdays or holidays. The amount of people who keep in contact with abusive parents despite knowing they'll be berated every phone call and every in-person visit is not talked about enough. Who else but a child could return home and receive disparaging comments about their body, partner, clothes, and take all of it in the hopes that one of those comments will be an "I'm proud of you"?
the past three weeks in a row, partner has gone to chipotle and been served by the same employee who, in bold defiance of the testimony of his own eyes and ears, ardently refuses to believe carnitas exist
partner: “Hi, could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and carnitas?”
employee (completely blank expression): “No.”
partner (autistic) (socialscript.exe encountered an unhandled exception) : “…Uh. Um. Sorry?”
employee: “We don’t have that.”
partner (wondering if perhaps he put too much of the authentic accent on the word and that’s what’s throwing the guy): “You don’t have…(pronouncing it whiter) carnitas?”
employee (face still unreadable): “No.”
partner (looking at the near-full hotel pan of perfectly normal carnitas in its usual place on the other side of the glass) (noticing this employee looks unfamiliar) (maybe he’s a new guy that just started five minutes ago with no training?) : “The…pork?” (pointing at it)
employee: “We don’t have pork.”
partner (beginning to wonder if he’s the one that’s losing it) (desperately looks to the menu on the wall behind the employee) (the menu lists carnitas as a protein option) (the word “carnitas” is not crossed out or taped over or otherwise adulterated) (carnitas have been on the standard menu since at least 2016) : “Okay. Um. Are you…sure?”
other employee working the toppings part of the line (familiar) (have seen her before) (she has cool earrings): *gives the new guy a strange look, nudges him aside, and scoops the carnitas onto partner’s bowl before continuing with the other toppings*
Repeat conversation again the next week. And the next. Same guy. If it’s a bit, no one is laughing, including the employee.
theories I’ve considered:
- the employee keeps very strictly kosher/halal/vegan and refuses to handle pork (understandable, I respect that, but if you’re gonna work at a place that serves pork I do kinda feel like when someone orders it you’ve just gotta tap in a coworker to do it for you)
- someone did something gross to the carnitas and the employee is trying to warn people not to order it (??? throw it out then? also, three weeks in a row???)
- the employee is a space alien who views humans as so similar to pigs that for us to eat them is tantamount to cannibalism
- the employee is the lead in a kdrama romance about a pampered, clueless chaebol heir who is sent by his father to work in the company’s restaurants for a year in order to prove he’s ready to take over as CEO. he’s dumb as rocks but they can’t fire him or even correct him that harshly due to the power gradient. partner is just a minor reoccurring character, and the interaction is kept the same from week to week to highlight the development of the relationship between the employee and his love interest with the cool earrings (even if the restaurant is literally a fully-branded Chipotle, that’s somehow still not enough product placement for me to believe this is a real kdrama)
After reviewing again with partner, evidently I forgot a detail that set this week’s carnitas denial dance apart from the others.
partner (well aware of what he’s getting into with this guy now): “Hi. Could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and pork?”
employee: “We don’t have pork.”
partner (demonstrating a level of patience only a public school teacher could have): *points at the pan of carnitas* “Could I please just have some of that?”
employee (after several slow, confused blinks): *points at the same pan* “That’s steak.”
partner (looking at the hotel pan they’re both pointing at) (it is filled with shredded meat of a pale beige color) (at the other end of the row of pans is another pan containing dark brown, lightly charred meat chopped into small pieces): “Okay.” *deciding he’s willing to play in this fantasy space if it gets the job done, he points at the first pan again* Then could I please have the steak?”
employee: *starts to reach for the pan at the other end containing the actual steak*
partner: "Oh—no, sorry, this one please?" *points at the first pan containing the carnitas*
employee: *blinks, then just walks away and starts helping the next customer in line, leaving partner's bowl unfinished*
other employee with cool earrings: *rolls her eyes at new employee, takes partner’s bowl, and fills it with carnitas herself*
new theories:
- the employee is a bridge troll who will only dole out his delectable carnitas to those who prove themselves worthy by correctly answering his riddles three
- the employee is stoned out of his mind at all times on a specific strain of weed that totally erases the concept of pork from his memory and awareness
A few additional updates/clarifications:
Mr. Eternal Bluntshine of the Porkless Mind isn't the first idiosyncratic cryptid Partner has encountered at this particular Chipotle. He joins the illustrious ranks of The Lobster Mobster and 300 RPM Matthew McConaughey
Partner says he does not actually mind dealing with this unskippable cutscene every time because A) he finds it amusing and B) on one occasion, after Cool Earrings's intervention, the new employee checked him out at the register, and he rang up the bowl clearly labeled "CA-Q" (carnitas with queso) as chicken, which made it slightly cheaper
Some of my favorite possible explanations from the tags:
Nothing I’ve read has changed me more than “you do people a favor by accepting their help” like I repeat this constantly to so many people because it’s true!!! People like to feel useful, they like to feel kind, they like to feel like they have an ability to impact people’s lives so just let them!! Not everything is a thing to be owed back — accept people’s kindness without making a competition out of it

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Still collecting the full alphabet of the “live, laugh, love” variants if anyone has some good examples.
Bonus if they can fit the “We can’t ___, _____, ____ our way out of this.”
compilation of the comments’ best hits + some of mine own.
Dr Glass picked up my phone and suggested “flirt, fuck, fight,” something so obvious I’m surprised it isn’t already in everyone’s vocabulary
the korean vegan cookbook (joanne molinaro) contains a recipe for paht bbang, a sweet red bean challah and i sat up in my seat with renewed understanding that the world is a beautiful place sometimes
here you go 🫶
“At the same time, I believe that the argument about boredom has to be somewhat nuanced. It is certainly true that one could feel almost nostalgic for Boredom 1.0. The dreary void of Sundays, the night hours after television stopped broadcasting, even the endless dragging minutes waiting in queues or for public transport: for anyone who has a smartphone, this empty time has now been effectively eliminated. In the intensive, 24/7 environment of capitalist cyberspace, the brain is no longer allowed any time to idle; instead, it is inundated with a seamless flow of low-level stimulus.”
Yet boredom was ambivalent; it wasn’t simply a negative feeling that one simply wanted rid of. For punk, the vacancy of boredom was a challenge, an injunction and an opportunity: if we are bored, then it is for us to produce something that will fill up the space. Yet, it is through this demand for participation that capitalism has neutralised boredom. Now, rather than imposing a pacifying spectacle on us, capitalist corporations go out of their way to invite us to interact, to generate our own content, to join the debate. There is now neither an excuse nor an opportunity to be bored.
(…)
Perhaps the feeling most characteristic of our current moment is a mixture of boredom and compulsion. Even though we recognise that they are boring, we nevertheless feel compelled to do yet another Facebook quiz, to read yet another Buzzfeed list, to click on some celebrity gossip about someone we don’t even remotely care about. We endlessly move among the boring, but our nervous systems are so overstimulated that we never have the luxury of feeling bored. No one is bored, everything is boring.”
Mark Fisher, No One Is Bored, Everything Is Boring

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I can't remember where I first heard it, but here's a joke that's lived rent free in my head for years:
two friends, a Jew and a Christian, are talking about holiday customs.
the Jew says "on Rosh Hashanah, it's traditional to blow the shofar 30 times"
the Christian looks at him awkwardly and says "wow. all we give our chauffeur on Christmas is a bottle of wine."
shana tova everyone
really enjoying the fact that people have said "this too is Torah", "y'all need Jesus", and "by Allah you people are dogs" in the notes. I hit the Abrahamic tumblr trifecta
Yes some languages like French or Thai or Japanese have nonsensical or weird spelling but you can already read English so you should be used to that by now
Look at Thai. This script is very old. Many of these sounds don’t exist like that anymore. Do not panic. You know how to read knife. You are battle hardened already.
Japanese kanji have many different sound and meaning. Too many. However, you can already deal with things that don’t make sense. You have conquered deer and dear. You have learned to deal with phishing and fishing. You can do this.
French have many silent letters, but so do we. Grab French by the throat. Choke it to death to assert dominance.
Choking the French language to death to assert dominance is the most British thing I’ve heard (affectionate)
What did you just call me