Truck comes first and if there is any money left over the kids may eat. - Modern Consumer Patriarchy
she got her degree and started removing the parasite 🙏
Tinfoil hat moment but I don't think he was dumb, I think he was strategic. He put her in a situation in which she had to either: sell her car (so the only means of transportation is now in his name), or maybe even to drop out (to have time for the second job) if she wants to feed the kids. He did it right when she was aaaaaalmost done with her degree. Either way, it's sabotage.
Sometimes when an action makes NO sense to us ("he's like a stupid alien"), it's bc we are not understanding its true motivation/purpouse. If his goal was control, financial pressure and limiting her options due to lack of funds, it makes perfect sensie to buy the truck.
Tinfoil hat moment over!
#No one ever says you should stop spending time with your friends they say 'don't trust Jim he's trying to sleep with you' #She's boring he's weird they make me uncomfortable they just don't like me - but it's about all /your/ friends
so i literally within the past week learned this thing that i'm still retrieving bits of myself from 20+ years later has a clinical term: Coercive Control (i couldn't find a more gender-neutral source but this one at least has some legal breakdown notes for several countries)
it's fucking insidious, it makes you feel like you're the source of everything you feel is wrong about whatever situation is being used against you & like anyone you could expect to talk to about it will see you as pepe silvia dot meme, and there's very little concrete evidence to point at while you're getting reshaped into whatever they expect from you.
if the abuser is just Slightly capable of shame or subterfuge they get away with so much because it slots itself into how relationships are supposed to work & makes the person fighting to get out of it look like (and feel like) they're some kind of histrionic ungrateful asshole. i didn't ever live with the motherfucker, so i could keep the nonemotional hooks to a minimum, and i still got enough mindfuck that i question how much of how that went down was my fault or responsibility, 20+ years out. So like, they could just be insecure but If everyone who's inarguably in Your corner is suspect, maybe pay attention to what the other hand is doing.
