goats are invisible unless lasers

executed for the crime of asking me stupid shit in this hot ass weather

sentencing will be carried out at dawn because it's the only time it isn't too facking hot to be out side

i get why the 'we are searching for what it means to be human' robot story is so compelling as a narrative, everyone is supposed to be searching for what it means to be human, but unfortunately i don't fucking care, and i want to read about people finding ways to opt out of the experience. become incomprehensible. find the devil in the wilderness and become him. idk. i am having one of those "i want things to be bigger and weirder and wilder and less understandable than they are and everyone else seems to want to domesticate the infinite" days.

[ID: a tweet by lyns @/taromantou that reads "it's 33 degrees out and i just saw a man fan himself and then fan the little bird on the ground next to him like this [downward arrow emoji]" followed by a stick figure drawing of a person waving a handheld fan at a bird /End ID]

All these tourists having a great time at the World Cup isn't surprising b/c the first rule of America is that this place rules if you have money to blow and it's a nightmare if you don't. The prohibitively high cost of attending the World Cup filtered out all the ppl who don't have money so all the people who actually made it to the U.S. are basically guaranteed to have fun

America hates the broke and woke and so every rich chud from abroad who comes over here goes home singing our praises. Tale as old as time.

wow you have dogshit taste (remembers im trying to be nicer to people who like different things) uh i mean, it's beautiful how the breadth of human experience is so wide it encompasses those with good taste and those with dogshit taste

Trying to sleep during a heatwave is a great reminder that all oil executives need to die painful painful deaths

i am always one wrong word away from being shot by all the people who find me tolerable