mlem

Baby I’m so sorry but a LOT of white people had periods of time as kids or even early adults where they regularly regurgitated slurs and direct racism and performed cruelty on racialized people. It can legitimately anywhere from “saying slurs on COD at 12” to “putting various unsanitary and hard to remove things into Black classmates hair” to “excluded racialized kids around them because they were yucky/etc.” to “assaulting racialized people around them” to “spent time on /b/ and gained standard 4chan racism brainworms”

You also straight-up can’t guess what it’ll be until they mention it or it jumps out. As an example, back in montana there was a white woman in my local kink community who was generally SO fucking sweet, kind, and caring to everyone around her, including me. One day she posted this on Facebook out of literal nowhere:

And doubled down after I called her on it.

Please understand that “hasn’t deconstructed racist social beliefs” means “can and will use racism when useful or they think they’re safe to, or will engage in white solidarity”

If they haven’t actually put in the work to destroy the white supremacy they’ve been internalizing from society their whole life, this can be basically any white person, at any time, no matter how they’ve behaved previously and how much you think they’d never do something like that.

Being fully honest, over the past few years I’ve met multiple white queers who were literally born and raised in full-on white supremacist cults and only escaped as adults, and every single one of them was leagues more tolerable than the average white queer because they KNEW their shit was fucked to hell and they were quick to self-question, address, and apologize when something they didn’t know was false/racist/supremacist came up and they actively wanted to do/be better.

Meanwhile average white queers just don’t want to be cancelled and often don’t actually give a fuck whether they’re harming racialized people around them or whether they’re doing the work of picking the white supremacy brainworms out. Getting an apology, reparation, or basic fixes is like pulling fucking teeth with them.