trans advice and positivity

Me before I came out, when I did pageants and modeling.

This was me the day of my junior prom. The dress weighed around 20 lbs, was the first one I tried on, and my makeup was done by someone who still thought brown lip liner looked good on white people. I spent the entire day being photographed and generally hating how I looked and wishing I could figure out why, when everything was technically perfect.

Came out in 2016, here's nine years of transformation (in reverse order, sorry)

Turns out I'm neither a Normal Guy nor a woman, but a much weirder type of faggy masc thing.

In my lifestyle lolita egg era. Somehow getting to dress like a princess gave me the will to get up in the morning

granted being a big ol goth doesn't really fit the bill of "socially acceptable heterosexual femininity" but i was HYPER feminine when i was closeted, especially in the years between when i FIRST tried to come out (age 16 - around the time of those first photos) and when i actually made the jump (age 19 - about a year after the last photo)

you can tell in that second to last photo i literally got a tattoo that said "MAD GIRL" which was an exercise in many things, including abstract self-harm, a visual reminder that i had given up on myself, and wildly underestimating the number of dudes who would misread it as BAD GIRL and take that as a cue to say gross shit to me while i was at work

anyway never kill yourself

haha yeah 🫣

consciously dipped my toes into the gender fuckery pool at around 15/16 but I was pentecostal at the time and well. took them out real quick

i tried very very hard to be “femme” for a LONG time but during covid lockdowns I didn’t have to perform for anyone and I slowly started to let it all go and now I’m a silly little man 😌

sorry if this comes off as rude, im bad at phrasing

You're not being rude, Anon, but maybe I can recalibrate your thinking a tad?

It's sadly fortunate for my personal safety that the way I like to present has a lot in common with passing as a cis man, but I feel it's extremely important as a trans person to find things you like - even love - about being trans.

There's a lot about being trans that frustrates me or even puts me in danger. There's also a lot that I enjoy, including parts of my body that clearly are not cis passing. But it took a while to get there.

I had an "oh." moment some months ago when I finally splurged on a realistic packer. Like, *super* realistic. Looking at myself naked with it on -- if you didn't look too hard at my chest scars, you could swear I was cis.

And it was strange! I thought wearing it would be this massive moment of euphoria! But instead, I merely felt, "huh, this is cool and fun and I guess I'm a little hornier than usual, but I also like the genitals I ended up with from just HRT."

It was a huge moment of growth for me. Not that I don't have bottom dysphoria (because I do wrt a certain hole), but that I found a very visibly trans part of my body just as - if not more - attractive than the cis counterpart.

I still have the packer and use it about 50% of the time. It's nice to have the option, it does still look good, and it's funny to me to have a growing collection of dicks in my dresser drawer.

I also think it's not a coincidence that I've become a lot more comfortable referring to the girl things in my past. It's a part of who I am.

Everyone has different goals for their body based on personal dysphoria/euphoria, but it's still important to feel good about being trans. Maybe it's about parts of your body (what you have or have not changed), parts of your past, or how you navigate the world today. But there should be something that makes you feel good in a way that a cis person won't ever experience.

And the best way to feel good about being trans is to consume trans art & history, and follow/hang out with other trans people, especially those not of your own gender, those who do not pass, those who choose gender fuckery, and those who say "no thank you" to gender.

torso. linocut 2024

Heya! Within two years, my hairline had noticeably changed to a masculine pattern -- the temples went up a bit, as did the front. I actually liked this, and was fine with my creeping hairline up until about age 42 (when I noticed how thin it had gotten -- age 40 was probably when I was last happy with it). I am 48 now.

For me, I wish I had started finesteride about 6 or so years in. I still want a middle-aged hairline, but I wish the shape were more squared off, plus I miss the fullness in my forelock. My current hairline actually makes me dysphoric in how it makes my head look so round.

more on this page:

Right now, you can submit a comment for consideration on the proposed changes to US Passport law that will include requiring a change from "Gender" to "Sex" on all passports and require that people identify with their sex assigned at birth.

THIS IS THE LAW THAT WOULD BAN TRANS PEOPLE FROM UPDATING THEIR IDENTIFICATION

Please take a moment to click through and submit a comment. This kind of thing is fast, easy, and is one of the many ways to show your support of the trans community to the people that need to know how many of us there are.

This is an excellent low effort way to make a clear statement to the government that you do NOT support the unnecessary and expensive process of changing everyone's passport just so that a tiny population that has done no measurable harm to society can feel afraid.

Trans activist Jamison Green's passport photos before and after HRT. Left he's age 32 (1980) Right age 41 (1989) after being on testosterone for one year (x)

I (they/them, nb) am NOW RECRUITING for a research study! - Transgender Men & Transmasculine Individuals (assigned female at birth, but identify as a gender identity other than "woman") who experience chronic pelvic pain. Must be 18 years or older, fluent in English, and live in the US. Your answers are anonymous.

Chronic pelvic pain is a pain that is present in the lower abdomen or pelvis that has been present for 6 or more weeks. Chronic pelvic pain may be experienced more frequently by transgender men, transmasculine, or non-cisgender women than cisgender women, yet it is understudied. Because it is understudied, clinicians may not know how to best treat chronic pelvic pain when the patient is transmasculine. The cause of this pain is also generally unknown, as are the factors that may make it better or worse for a patient. Therefore, this study hopes to better understand what chronic pelvic pain is like for transgender men and transmasculine people, and how they prefer their care is approached when they seek medical care for chronic pelvic pain.

Participation in this one-time study is expected to take about 30 minutes of your time. There is a link for a raffle.

The tweet: https://twitter.com/Lionhearted_ben/status/1629919975203848192?t=HfF1j3BVqZMgZEIHgVnz3w&s=19

And in case Twitter is being a fool, here's the PDF itself: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PiO5JAc2_erXL9rEPU-Gj4DXQ3N0dTbe/view

Look for changes in the skin, like nipple inversion, redness/duskyness, tenderness, or a dimpled appearance like orange peel.

I hope this point is obvious but don't do a self exam until everything is FULLY HEALED after surgery. When they say firm pressure they mean enough that its uncomfortable on healed tissue. If you press that hard on an area that's healing you're going to regret it.

If you have had top surgery, you can also talk to your doctor about screening MRIs, since mammograms aren't exactly feasible, but insurance coverage for that might depend on your family history, age, and other factors.

Things this bill does for those in NSW:

allows trans people to change their sex on their birth certificate without surgery (prior to this, NSW was the only state/territory in Australia to require gender affirming surgery - and that surgery was specifically for sexual reproductive organ)

Provide a nonbinary option for birth certificate

Makes threatening to out someone's LGBTQ+ status or sex work history an offence

Repeals offences for living off the earnings of a sex worker

Gives extra time to register a birth certificate for those born with variations of sex characteristics (intersex)

Hate crime definition will now include crimes based on prejudice for a person's gender or intersex identity

Equality Australia has a full list here