you are enough

What Caused the Brainworms

What kick-started this whole thing was that Gonta - who looks like he got Kamukura treatment - is someone able to communicate with bugs, someone who treats them as beloved friends, and someone so deeply protective of them, he can't help but to lash out whenever someone just as much as expresses dislike of bugs. He even goes as far as to make liking/disliking them an indication of a person's morality (while ironically bashing himself for being a failure but that's besides the point).

To Gonta, bugs are clearly not a mere passion or profession, but an emotional crutch, a literal replacement for social interactions ever since he was ostracized as a child. And yet there he is, gushing, blushing, even, over the dead insects sprawled on the walls of his newly opened lab.

It made me wonder whether Gonta expands his collection "ethically" (collect dead bugs only/let them live out their natural lifespan vs use things like ethyl acetate or ethanol to suffocate them). By this point I already assumed he must've hunted for animals while living in the forest, maybe even killed some in self-defense - causing death couldn't have been an alien concept to him. Okay I initially thought maybe he had a body count, but that's only because I was listening to too many scary camping/forest ranger stories at that time.

Simultaneously, he's instantly attached to, and fascinated by the cast - imo directly mirroring Kaede, the other sweet and cheerful but deceptively troubled loner, branded "freak" for pursuing a passion they want to make others happy with ("Our precious friends", says about-to-be-executed girl in regards to a group of people she knew for less than 3 days). And he does crave group unity, being someone emotionally dependent on team morale.

Do Unto Others as They Did Unto You

(Aka: the Casual Mutual Projection and Crossing of Boundaries)

Gonta has a subtle pattern of projecting his feelings onto others and acting accordingly without asking their opinion first, even before Ch4.

Usually it takes an arguably harmless form of him wanting others to participate in the things he enjoys, despite framing it as repaying the favor. Offering to race, dance or hang out with bugs in exchange for being kind enough to interact with him in FTE are obvious examples, but for me personally, the most intriguing one is the Love Hotel event, where Gonta immediately offers to roleplay as a woman for Shuichi, despite it being HIS particular romantic/sexual fantasy. He IS genuinely grateful and excited, but he often picks from a pool of choices that are *his* preferences rather than trying to gauge someone's else's.

Its source may be the loneliness, and nobody from his past making his emotions and struggles feel truly seen. People-oriented and selfless as he may be, he's still a human being with his own needs, and if you're the type that doesn't know how to focus on *yourself*, vicariously living through others to manage that may as well be the only way (I think this is why Gonta being validated by Shuichi in his final FTE leads to Gonta naturally concluding that he wants to be a gentleman for *himself*, too, not just for others. He's finally seen by someone. And that helps him see and value himself).

But I think it's mostly for an entirely different reason: he's fully internalized how society/his family treated him upon his return from the forest - he didn't ask for that, yet still obeys by their rules, and invests himself in trying to live up to his parents' reputation, shoving his own anxieties and psychological trauma under the label of "his own stupidity".

No, that docility started even earlier than that - when his kid peers shunned him, and he casually understood them, his own loneliness be damned. Doesn't help that Gonta is self-aware enough to realize his flaws and mistakes, yet empathetic and overly responsible enough to keep absolving others of their own accountability, which only further enables those dynamics. This pattern consistently shows all the way up to Ch4 post-trial.

When excusing unfairness, internalizing the pain, and being put through struggles he never asked for was always his norm, always something acceptable, that conditioning, with enough external manipulation, and Gonta being pushed to his worst, absolutely will make him redirect that pattern back at others. I think this is precisely why he entertained the Mercy Killing plan at all. In the end, he agreed to kill others only because he himself was driven to give up on life. He would understand someone doing so to him, I'm certain, Gonta's only concern being him failing to protect that person. So surely, surely others would have felt the same as him... Right?

Side-rant:

Hey, Gonta, did you ask the bug if it's okay to just yoink it? Have you ever stopped to think what it's like to be a speck of dust kidnapped by a mountain-sized entity beyond your comprehension? This bug had things to do, places to go. Does it really matter if that eldritch-like being is friendly? Is its definition of "friendliness" compatible, or at least safe to the object of their admiration? You may not like people harming bugs, but you still make them into displays, right? Will the bug make it out alive, be kept in an enclosure, or return back home? Well?!

Ok, lmao, I'm exaggerating here, but honestly, I can't help but always think about how it feels from a tiny animal's perspective to be randomly picked up or taken somewhere.

Care vs Causing harm

He seems to treat bugs and humans as equally important. Implicitly in canon, and pretty much spells it out in DRS, in an event with Toko.

So... what Gonta may do to humans, if making collections is one way he expresses loving bugs?

And what's the symbolism of Gonta stating the above in the presence of a serial killer who crucifies the objects of her desire, and ALSO resorted to befriending bugs because of being a lonely, bullied loser with two families? One who also has no memory of their crime, but their "other self" has? Well, it certainly did make me stop, because I ship them and this is what I drew months prior to DR:S release:

(Oh look, they're PINNING for eacho- *folds like origami* Anyway, ouch the edge. Idk if I'll finish it bc it makes me a bit embarrassed. But yeah, another one of those wild moments. And why my Mastermind Gonta derives a little from Syo)

Paranoia aside, I do think him loving but potentially being fine with killing insects, or at least keeping their corpses around, is a subtle cue that killing his human friends not only *doesn't* stand in the path of loving and caring for them - he tries to kill them in Ch4 precisely because of those feelings.

Him defending Kaede, Kirumi and Miu only further shows that murder may be forgivable, or at least entirely understandable, as long as the culprit has sympathetic or noble reasons.

Murder's wrong, yes... But for Gonta it's flexible, heavily context-based judgment. Kiyo doesn't get a pass, because "killing others for a dead person is messed up" (ironically though, my Mastermid Gonta would see more eye to eye with him...), Monokuma doesn't pass, because of his gleeful malice and cruelty, etc. Honestly? Imo he echoes Shuichi with that sentiment. Tsumugi definitely wouldn't get a pass either. (Maki's an interesting case, though. I think Gonta doesn't begrudge her, but he does seem afraid of her)

Relationship with Death

Gonta bears this sorrowful acceptance towards death ("The flow never reverses") - curious, but unsurprising trait, when he's surrounded by it on a regular basis, being an entomologist with an experience of living in the wilderness.

But it's yet another instance of him not opposing things that upset him. He's not happy with those "part-of-life" or "circumstantial" cruelties. But he understands they exist, and why they exist. He resigns himself to them with both maturity, yet almost pitiful obedience, and seems almost annoyed at the wishful thinking of bringing the dead back. Until the touch of Angie's booba and a few compliments exorcise all that level-headedness away, but hey, the guy's just that desperately starved for affection and validation, more savvy people have joined cults for less.

Then we get these moments as well (I skipped some lines to limit the screens to most important beats). Again, very matter-of-factly approach, despite initial emotional response. Gonta accepting people eating his literal friends so quickly... wild, but also somehow completely to be expected. (Also, he "takes lives every day"? Hmmmm!)

As for Gonta himself... he may have given up on life and think "it's better to die" in Ch4, but honestly, even before that point, he impulsively pulls stunts like offering himself to be a meat shield against the Exisals, or asking to get sacrificed in Kirumi's stead. Not only because he's that noble - he is, sure - but there are always involuntary comments indicating he does it because of how little he thinks of himself, how it's others that deserve more...

I genuinely think Gonta's suicidal ideation steming from that sense of worthlessness is literally on par with Ryoma's (And that Gonta's casual disregard of his own well-being makes him a hypocrite for not understanding Ryoma's lack of will to live).

It's just that Gonta's normally not as direct and obvious about his depression, and is too pathologically selfless and emotionally enmeshed with his friends to center those desires around himself. Instead, he instinctively frames his self-destruction as something that may be useful to others - if he dies in the process, so be it.

He may not consciously think any of that, but he *is* self-destructive, he *is* negligent of his feelings, he *is* all too easily agreeing to do things that will ruin him, even if (to borrow UDG!Toko's words about Komaru's despair) "that's not what he truly wants", on top of being perfectly capable of standing up for himself. But he has this resignation to him. He doesn't wallow in self-pity. He just states it like it's a complete norm. He's this broken. Was from the very beginning. And it's fucking heartbreaking.

(You... can never truly believe him when he says that he's okay.)

Point here is… Gonta always readily embraced the concept of Death to a substantial degree, even if, ideally, he'd want everyone to thrive.

Odd affinity with Evil

Despite being inherently kindhearted (on a much deeper level than a most, honestly) and actively striving to become a good gentleman, he seems strangely gravitating towards amoral/immoral individuals, if you look at who he bonds with in DRS and UTDP: Kamukura, Shirokuma, Warriors of Hope, Monaka, Junko, Mukuro etc. Even those who merely perform aesthetics of evil like Gundham and Ouma, or to a lesser degree the delinquent Mondo and the True Crime fanatic Sonia, are all his closest friends. Oh, and did you know that Reptites are actually villains in Chrono Trigger, and Gonta's all "they say they're good now!"? So there's that also.

Honestly, I think it's simply a realistic depiction of a victim of abuse. Gonta's parents aren't exactly kind, and he's been conditioned to justify others at his own expense. It's natural for people like this to gravitate towards toxic (or merely scary-looking) individuals out of a mere sense of familiarity, while feeling confused and on edge within healthy relationships, due to constantly anticipating fallout that's never coming. It's easy to extend one's hand towards ostracized ones especially, due to past of being misjudged and not wanting to inflict that same bias on others... Only for that empathy to be misplaced as the other person turns out to be as bad as the rumors say. And on a less serious level, be simply fascinated with horror, chaos and dark aesthetics and themes. Gonta does mention bugs can look scary or have poison, but he still likes them, so that could be an overlap. TMI but that's the experience speaking.

But for the sake of the AU, you may also see it as signs of something more sinister.

I always thought Gonta shares many parallels with Shirokuma in particular, turns out they have an event together! And it's all about striving to be a good person.

Then there are the visual similarities between Gonta and Kamukura, suit, red eyes, long dark hair. Gonta's hair can be explained by his wild child backstory, but I did say before that it remaining in such a state doesn't make practical sense. And Gonta relearning speech, social rules, gaining Ultimate title in presumably record time... I did wonder whether it's thanks to his academic prowess alone, or if Gonta's parents saw their freshly rescued feral child and went "oh no, we ain't dealing with that, we're rich", then made arrangements with Hope's Peak human research team, resulting in Gonta's partial, perhaps botched, transformation. Then Hope's Peak dropped this half-baked, mentally scarred mess on Gokuharas' doorstep and said "no refunds".

It feels meaningful to see that Gonta does meet with both Kamukura and Hinata...

And speaking of those meetings...

Love For Humanity

(Note: I had to merge these screenshots to fit within the image limit. Plus I'm skipping some lines once again, including only what I think are the most crucial ones)

I'm by no means a Hajime-expert, but he's my favourite protag, and I find it interesting how this event's conclusion subtly hints that despite his claims, Hajime may be passionate about something, and that is... other people's passions? He does seem to genuinely enjoy listening to Gonta, and admires his investment. Which is a very healthy step-up from the feelings of inadequacy and desperation that plagued him in the mainline game and anime...

Gonta asking Izuru specifically how he feels about humans seems to mirror that same theme of being collective-oriented.

Which is also something very characteristic to Gonta. So going back to him: once again, he brings up humans and insects in the same breath, unprompted. And once again, he stresses out he feels love for all of them. It's a good thing for him. It echoes his last words:

(It wasn't a happy thing, in the end.)

The keyword here is "everyone". "All" of them.

Now, I don't really buy into zodiacs and personality charts, but they can be useful as character writing resources - and imo Gonta being an Aquarius is a great fit. He seems to be less concerned with individual dynamics and more with the community and broader concepts. He wants many friends, helping others involves change on a more societal scale (stopping an epidemic, wanting to improve the reputation of bugs, uniting his forest and human families). He may be a people-pleaser, he may hang around someone for a while, but he doesn't revolve nor define himself specifically around any single individual (despite the insistence of some parts of fandom re: his dynamic with a certain character. Gonta's not some half-character, he stands on his own, believe it or not).

There's just too much to love about this world, and his heart's too big to limit itself like that. As if you couldn't expect a singular person to become his priority and main focus, even if he's so warm, and no doubt would make a wonderful lifelong friend, or even a partner. Maybe that's why shipping him with other characters feels... unique. It seems fitting that Gonta disappears again in his 30s to chase his dreams (as per Kodaka's April Fools Twitter post), despite promising Ouma in DR:S that he will never leave. Or why his friendship with Himiko didn't save him in Ch4 (even though she's literally the only one whose company Gonta actively pursued, instead of others dragging him into their business). He's so group (or concept) oriented, while sadly being sort of separated from it...

Yet, he loves everyone and anyone with such intensity he's readily willing to sacrifice his life for them, rather than reserving such heroics for only the closest ones - something I find truly incomprehensible.

You could say there's also a parallel between Kiyo and Gonta. Korekiyo likes to say that he finds allure in both the beauty and ugliness of humanity. Gonta never explicitly says this, but I do think he instinctively practices that exact mindset, for better and for worse. Bugs can be scary and poisonous, but they're all cool and exciting. Humans can be mean and hurt others, but feeling connected to them makes Gonta happy. And it's not all just trauma that I've mentioned in the "Affinity with Evil" segment, but genuine open-mindedness, fascination, and admiration as well.

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TLDR; (for the first half, at least)

Ch2 Entomologist Lab scene is specifically when the whole Taxidermist theory was born. Then it combining with: his enthusiasm about others; him seemingly valuing insects on the same level as humans; him assuming his own feelings as other people's feelings, while ironically emotionally depending on a group's harmony and unity; his resignation and acceptance of death; the type of people he happens to gravitate towards; parallels to Kamukura, Syo and Shirokuma; emotional repression while paradoxically being so open-hearted; the moral ambiguity and trauma and short-sightedness that comes from those - all eventually contributed to my Mastermind AU.

AU (aka: "You're supposed to lose what fate has sent")

This Mastermind is a caring monster who deals with loss by accelerating it for a semblance of control, even though that's not how he'd personally describe it. He's doing it for everyone, right? The world is ending (or alternatively, he knows it's "okay", and describing it as "hell" refers to the state of current society); the Academy is his enclosure, and will become the mausoleum for humanity's most lustrous gems of hope.

He threats them same way as insects out of the selfish desire to hoard what he deems precious, yes, and is unconsciously seeking the sense of connection he couldn't normally experience... but most worryingly, he genuinely thinks he's giving everyone the best available fate, a graceful out, so to speak. And he loves them all so, so much.

He's just as kind, polite, charming, and energetic as canon Gonta - and somehow, his lack of malice is more terrifying than your classic loud and abrasive Junko types. His self-esteem is still in the gutters, only fueling his obsessive admiration of others. He's so earnest about the atrocities he commits, that he genuinely feels like something beyond human morality, someone too far gone to be reasoned with.

Gonta is aware that what he's doing is cruel, though. Death and injury hurt to see, after all. But Gonta chooses what he deems to be the lesser evil, only with much more skewed moral compass - and more power and resources - than his canon counterpart. It's the wrongness of deciding other's fates that doesn't click for him, at least initially. That, and the fact that he may only be projecting his own despair onto them, and living it through them.

Early signs

It always pained me how V3 callously states that the bodies of the deceased are "dumped" like trash, or whatever the exact implication was.

Additionally many deceased characters felt forgotten or irrelevant all too quickly (That's a franchise issue, tbh), unless someone is directly affected through personal connection, that is.

So in this AU, before the Ultimate Entomologist Gonta reveals his secondary taxidermist talent and the role of a Mastermind, he'd hold simple makeshift funerals for both the victim and the blackened. He'd place the memorabilia Shuichi gets at the end of each trial in the gym hall or in their respective labs, perhaps pair these with the dorm room portrait. Something symbolic like that. He'd lie that this was a simple ritual his forest family taught him. Or insist that's the right thing to do. Maybe Angie would join in on this, and use it as pretext to convert people to her religion.

It's not something that has ever happened in DR games (thankfully it does in THL), and it would be narratively important here.

Through embracing their deaths, Gonta would try to immortalize and honor what life once was. Both the ceremonies and the taxidermy serve that exact purpose. This philosophy stands in direct opposition to Monokuma, who's aaaall about that petty sacrilege, and destroying anything that's meaningful and heartfelt.

Not everyone would attend those, and some would definitely express their sarcasm. "Fantastic. Let's all gather as say feel-good bullshit about a killer or an asshole victim. All while we wonder who the next back-stabber's gonna be, and who gets to be their victim. I don't know these assholes. I don't have time for this nonsense."

It's interesting to imagine what Gonta could say in the memory of the deceased, especially those most ostracized or disliked. Especially if only one person shows up to listen - that one person being mostly Shuichi, sometimes Kaito or both (considering it was Kaito who told Shuichi to go to Kaede's lab).

These conversations would eventually fuck with Shuichi's mind in particular, given his backstory and how empathetic he's towards the plights of many of the blackeneds. Only for the person who fed into that side of him, who Shuichi ended up hanging out with more and more (because their presence provided a different kind of tranquility and emotional catharsis than the Training Trio did), the person who he grew closer to and let their conversation drift towards other subjects... all this for Gonta to turn out to be the very cause of everyone's suffering.

Shuichi

Oh right, it's a lowkey one-sided saigoku indeed, lmao (here's me confessing that I love Hero x Villain ships a lot). It's a recent addition though, since I'm in my saigoku era. Paradoxically, the romantic feelings develop only on Shuichi's side, while Gonta is VERY reluctant to let it go in such a direction. Before twist-reveal, he makes up excuses, and tries to be gentle about turning Shuichi down, and doesn't feel deserving of being liked this way. Not when he knows he's lying to Shuichi about his real identity. It's interesting to think how, by design, his secret talent places Gonta in a position of admiring others from the side, never joining, never becoming an integral part, never first to anyone. It is meant to be symbolic of Gonta's typical dynamic with people.

Gonta "dying" in Ch4, then reappearing in 6th as a Mastermind would certainly be a nuclear level blow to Shuichi, only made worse by Kaito's demise. Especially if he decided to continue Gonta's tradition of holding small funerals after his death.

So obviously there's no happy ending here. But... Shuichi's indignation can cut deeply, can it? Him calling Gonta a sick monster, shouting how could Gonta be so twisted, and Gonta just... taking it with a sad half smile, before quietly moving on with the final trial, as if Shuichi merely stated things Gonta was already thinking to himself... oh, what an angst galore.

The Pressing Matter

Regarding Kokichi, I'm really happy people picked up on what was my intention behind the sketch. At this point I can just paste someone's tags:

starlight-storytime:

#WAIT but this idea of gonna being an embalmer + him being kokichis closest friend#vs kokichi realizing the truth and deciding to die in a way that would utterly spite the mastermind#completely ruining himself so that he couldn't be kept on display. entertaining even in death#choosing to go out on his own terms not just in a way to break the game but also to break himself free#especially bc gonta looks genuinely pissed off but also disappointed at not being able to keep kokichi#(like - the kind of disappointed that an adult is with a child's stupid mistake. like kokichi should've done better/known better—#–and gontas real upset comes from kokichi knowingly spiting him)

YES, that's exactly that! Gonta can tell it's a direct rejection, and that Kokichi meant it to be this way. He's not upset about losing a new exhibit - it's about pushing Gonta away and spitting on his friendship in a most personal way. It's about making him fully aware of what Kokichi thinks about him, and his perverse attempt at "saving" everyone. A symbolic middle finger. "Kokichi ragebaited Gonta on purpose" as my friend put it XD

Gonta does try to salvage whatever scraps he can, hence the mysterious jar that this same friend aptly described as "Kokichi jam" but... yeah, he certainly got outplayed here xD Maybe Gonta's petty revenge is putting Kokichi near Kirumi...

Cog in the Machine

I thought of this motive only to avoid the contradiction between Gonta wanting his taxidermy "samples" to be in the best condition possible VS him hosting extremely gruesome executions... but it may be quite an interesting motive.

There are hints that Gonta and the DR Team may not be on an equal footing. Behind the scenes, there's real beef between Gonta and Monokuma, with Gonta often arguing over "needlessly brutal executions", giving an impression he doesn't have complete control... He does have some qualms about Team DR also, despite taking full advantage of his position, but hey: "my righteous send-offs" vs "their uncouth blood sports".

Maybe he was simply recruited, and rolls with it since he's insane and broken enough to do so, but isn't granted a full picture of the operation, just to parallel Ch4. Perhaps being (allegedly) a borked Izuru-type experiment, or at least looking like one, is what made him so appealing.

It's the Mastermind vs the participants, but also the Replaceable Host VS Monokuma & Team Danganronpa. He's only graciously allowed to practice his talent on the "leftovers" that would be otherwise discarded, an investment to make the show more interesting.

He may genuinely think the world's gone (and Monokuma replaces Kokichi as his partner in crime and instigator). Alternatively, Gonta knows it's a show, but is so deeply disillusioned with the outside world, that it may as well have ended.

First option makes him a tragic victim of deception, but doesn't have to erase his sins - Mastermind Gonta does irreversibly cross more lines his canon self never did, if only by the virtue of his worst actions being an ongoing pattern, rather than an one-off incident. It allows for that delicious moment of Gonta experiencing utter betrayal and realization he did all this for nothing, when Monokuma finally drops the pin that "The world's doin' great, iiiiidioooooot, PUHAHAHAHA!!!", which can potentially lead to Gonta switching sides last minute.

Second feels less in character (it's difficult to imagine Gonta sinking this low unless the general circumstances go absolutely FUBAR), but gives him more agency, and allows him to be consciously and continually deceitful on more fronts than one, even if he's so NOT built for that. "Sure, Gonta can hide things like Reptite family, and his talent, but this... maybe Kokichi would find it easy, but Gonta must try his hardest..."

There's merit to both scenarios. Again, it's not like this AU is anything set in stone. Regardless, Gonta is in deep despair. And just like DR antagonists, an anti-villain doesn't need to be all-powerful to be driven and genuinely intimidating.

Paving the Road to Hell

The final trial could involve the remaining participants persuading Gonta into believing in their own strength and undefeated will to live, even if it makes absolutely zero sense to him. Making him appreciate their autonomy.

He'd be called out for his defeatism, and deciding for them under the pretense of "protection". Perhaps Gonta could retort by bringing up the previous cases. It's not just a Gonta problem after all. Kaede plotted saving everyone in secret, Kirumi wanted to kill for her nation, Ryoma let her do so without considering others, Kiyo assumed his ghost sister requires 100 friends be send her way, Miu wanted to kill for her inventions, Kokichi used others as disposable pawns for his own ends without ever letting them on the full truth.

Everyone felt entitled to deciding other's fate out of self-righteousness, and some of them, like Ryoma, agreed to be on the receiving end. Isn't that what caring is? Isn't that how the world works? Doesn't everyone shove an undisclosed "kindness" up everyone's ass, because hard choices need to be made? What makes Gonta so different? If it's wrong, then what Gonta's whole life was? How is he supposed to feel about everything done to him? There is a thematic resonance here, imo.

The downfall

Gonta's eventual demise could be as gruesome as his canon execution - a symbolic way to reject himself the right to be preserved, and a punishment for all he's done. Perhaps he'd die trying to rescue his taxidermied "friends" from the crumbling Academy, begging Shuichi and the rest not to abandon them? Or maybe he lives but he's ends up like Curly did (or maybe partially so, for that Monokuma color scheme symbolism)... jfc that's horrifying

Lots of possibilities here. Regardless, I imagine at that point he'd be proud of the survivor's and their hard-earned victory. And he would learn to set them free.

Because he loves them all this much.

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some extras i cut out from the comic + silly unrelated doodle based on what my friend said when i was drawing this comic on call: