See Generally

I have been very fortunate in my legal career to have some big responsibilities at a relatively young age. Some of this has absolutely been due to being in the right place at the right time. So much of success seems to be timing and taking advantage of opportunities as they present themselves. But there are several things I can point to as being important to what I’ve been able to accomplish. 

Say yes.

I was recently driving through Grand Teton National Park. It was rainy and overcast, to the point where we could only see about a third of the way up the mountains (total bummer for any traveler there at the same time). This different view, however, pointed out the various small streams from rain and melting snow that cascaded down the mountains, having formed somewhere in the space covered by clouds. These streams collected, becoming waterfalls and rivers, eventually filling the several lakes that are found in the Teton Valley. 

When I look back at how I got here, one thing that stands out is saying yes to little opportunities and responsibilities, which would later put me in a place to say yes to bigger and more important tasks and positions. There is a momentum that comes with it. You meet people. You learn things that you are able to help others with. Saying yes isn’t about strategic decisions to advance your career, it is about furthering what is in front of you. It is about doing what you can when you don’t necessarily know what you should be doing (thanks, Captain Kirk). 

Become comfortable with people who are “supposed-to-be” different than you.

In law school, I had the honor of being on the law review’s editorial board at my school. When the elections were over, I found myself the only guy on the board with seven incredibly smart and amazing women. I joked that the only thing that would have made it better was if I was single (I was one of the married-with-a-kid law students). 

Becoming comfortable with people that you are “supposed to be” different from is huge. I was lucky enough to have grown up with only sisters and quite close to my mom’s four sisters. I don’t remember ever having to learn the value and abilities of women because it was normal. My law review experience was just building something with the most qualified people I could think of, who all happened to be women. 

Now, there have been times where I’ve had to apply this same idea to people who do seem different than me. We all define ourselves in some way that draws a line between us and them. But, not to sound too much like a bumper sticker on a Prius, there are so many more ways that we are similar. And focusing on those basic human parts of us, realizing we all care about our livelihood, our clients, the well being of our loved ones, and staying sane in the practice of law, can make you a more effective attorney and human being in any situation. 

Dismiss that impostor idea that has likely crept into your mind from time to time. 

It is a weird thing as a young lawyer when, after years of work, you find yourself sitting at table, in the quiet of the courtroom, waiting for the Judge and clerk to walk in. You have your notes scribbled on a yellow pad. A case file open on the table. There may be a microphone waiting to put what you have to say on the record. And as you look down, seeing your court attire, pen in hand, and leather bag tucked away under the table, you realize that you are a lawyer. That thing you grew up watching on TV, seeing rush past reporters with cameras saying “no comment,” the person that is supposed to have all the answers to the impossible problems people bring you. 

It is kind of cool. 

Except when it is not.

And you don’t feel like you should really be the one pleading your client’s case. You, who got cold called in Civ Pro and couldn’t remember a thing you read the night before. You, who are sure the dumb thing you said in Crim Pro was way dumber than all the other dumb things everyone else said. You, who still feels like that kid who thought, yeah, I want to be a lawyer. 

Just remember, all the real lawyers (not the TV ones), put in the same work you did. Took the same test you did. Play by the same rules you do. “Practice” the same profession as you. 

That license to practice law doesn’t just tell everyone else that you are an attorney. It should tell you as well. 

There will be bad days. There will be lost motions and hard things to tell clients. But that doesn’t mean you are somehow a kid playing dress up as a lawyer, even if you may feel like it at the start of your practice. You are not an impostor. 

When assisting grandparents with concerns about the custody and wellbeing of their grandchildren, there are more options in Idaho other than seeking a guardianship. As explained by the Idaho Supreme Court in Overholser v. Overholser, 164 Idaho 503, 432 P.3d 52 (2018), grandparents in Idaho hold several “keys to the courthouse” in such situations:

"Magic Keys" by cogdogblog is licensed under CC0 1.0.

The De Facto Custodian Act under Idaho Code § 32-1701

In certain situations, a grandparent can be deemed a de facto custodian of a grandchild(ren). Idaho Code § 32-1703 lays out the requirements essentially stating the grandparent must be related by blood to the child and must have been the primary caretaker of the child for a specific amount of time (differs based on the child’s age) “without a parent [of the child] present and with a lack of demonstrated consistent participation by a parent.”

Intervention in a divorce case under Idaho Code § 32-717(3)

This one is under the divorce statutes and only applies as follows: “In any case where the child is actually residing with a grandparent in a stable relationship, the court may recognize the grandparent as having the same standing as a parent for evaluating what custody arrangements are in the best interests of the child.”

Grandparent Visitation Rights under Idaho Code § 32-719 

This one is also short and found under the divorce statutes: “The district court may grant reasonable visitation rights to grandparents or great-grandparents upon a proper showing that the visitation would be in the best interests of the child.”

Minor Guardianship under Idaho Code § 15-5-204 

This is the general minor guardianship statute under the probate code in Idaho. The petitioning grandparent will have to show that the grandchild was neglected, abused, abandoned, or the grandchild’s parents cannot provide a stable home environment. In contrast to the options above, guardianships like this can put a larger wedge between the grandparent and their own child all in the name of the grandchild’s best interest. Note that the Court Assistance Office in Idaho has self-help forms under this statute available HERE. You can even complete and file the forms online through a new feature on that website.

And... What about Troxel?

Using document properties in Microsoft Word will allow you to set fields throughout the document that when you fill in one, they all will be filled in with the same word(s). Here is what you do:

Step 1 

If you haven’t already, turn on the Developer Tab. You can learn how to do that HERE.

Step 2 

Open a form pleading in Microsoft Word (or a pleading you would like to convert into a form). I’ve used this on petitions for the typical cases I take and discovery documents. Anything I can do to reduce the time spent on discovery is worth it.

Step 3

Choose a word that you need to be able to update all at once throughout the document. Ideally, this will be a word that needs to be uniform and the same throughout the document. It could be a party name, client name, gendered pronouns, or any word that needs to be correctly repeated. 

Step 4

Go to the Insert tab and click on Quick Parts (normally on the right half of the tab).

Step 5

Scroll down to Document Properties and select one of the options. It doesn’t matter which one, just pick something that makes sense to you for the word you want to repeat through the document. 

NOTE: This is why I am calling this process a “hack.” While you can change the title of the field in the next step, the actual word that shows up in the bracketed field will remain the same.

Step 6

Click on the Document Property you now have in your document and then go to the Developer Tab and click on Properties. In the box that pops up, type the title you want for the field in the title bar. This will not change the document property you selected from the list but when you click on the field, the title will pop up letting you know what the field is supposed to be. What I have done here is write “Petitioner or Respondent” or “he or she.” You will need to do a separate field if some portions of the document need the word in all caps. For example, I added a separate field saying “PETITIONER OR RESPONDENT IN CAPS” so I don’t forget. 

Step 7

Once you have the document property field created, you can select and copy it (control+c). Then, everywhere you want to have that word appear, paste the field there (control+v). 

NOTE: You can even paste the field into the footer.

There is a good video explanation of this for Word 2007 HERE. The steps are the same even if your Word version is newer. 

I hope this helps. The document might look a little weird by having [abstract] or [subject] through it but if you do this right the first time, you will never have to worry about using the wrong word in the wrong place again.

I play the guitar. It is one of those non-law-related things in my life that keeps me sane. If you’ve ever played or seen an electric guitar, you’ll know that there are knobs on there, like these...

The knobs control the volume of the guitar’s output and the tone, or sound of the guitar through the amp. 

Tone knobs appear not only on the guitar but on guitar effects, that can substantially change how the guitar sounds...

And even on the guitar amplifier, which is what projects the guitar’s sound to the world...

Tone knobs can be wired to do different things but almost universally, they can be used to shape the guitar’s sound and help it harmonize with the other instruments that might be playing or become more pleasant to whoever happens to be listening. 

Tone Affects Content

One thing that I’ve learned over the years playing guitar is that how your guitar sounds greatly affects how the music is received. A great example of this is Steven’n’Seagulls’ cover of Thunderstruck by ACDC.

Same song, same notes and chords, but received very differently.  

That is what tone is all about. When you learn to play the guitar after you learn how to play the correct note on the correct string at the correct time, how you play that note becomes key to going from a mechanical action to an expressive art form. 

A Lawyer’s Tone Knob

So how does a lawyer adjust the practice of law tone knob? 

First off is just being aware. When you read that email or brief, maybe focus one read through on the effect of your word choice. Is the snark necessary? Probably not, though it can feel good. 

Second is knowing your audience. Is a Judge going to appreciate disrespectful language for the opposing party? We know Chief Justice Roberts sure doesn’t. Will your already terrified or anxious client benefit from you ramping up their emotions? Probably not. 

Third, remember that while words are a lawyer’s greatest tool, that can also be our downfall. A lawyer in California recently learned this the hard way. There is great value in the idea to “dance like no one is watching; email like it may one day be read aloud in a deposition.”

I recently read a talk by James E. Faust given in 2003 to the J. Reuben Clark Law Society. Mr. Faust was a World War II pilot, the President of the Utah Bar Association, on President Kennedy’s Lawyer’s Committee for Civil Rights, and in the Utah House of Representatives as a Democrat. In 1978 he left his profession as a lawyer and served the remaining years of his life in the leadership of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. 

The remarks I read were called “Be Healers” and are available HERE. His thoughts showed great humility for someone so well accomplished and demonstrated why the strength of one’s character as a whole is crucial to succeeding in the law-practice portions of life. Towards the end, he provided a list of wise ideas directed toward practitioners from his lifetime of work:

Don’t get so overly involved in your client’s cause that you lose your balance, good judgment, and sense of humor.

Sublimate your own ego to the greater need of helping your client.

At all costs, keep your own integrity. 

Don’t let your client establish the rules of your conduct.

Communicate: keep your client informed, and without compromising your client’s cause, keep communication open with your opponent.

Never commingle other people’s money with your own.

Protect yourself by making an adequate record.

He went on to share some thoughts from a New York attorney named John W. Davis on promoting peace in the practice of law:

“True, we build no bridges. We raise no towers. We construct no engines. We paint no pictures—unless as amateurs for our own amusement. There is little of all that we do which the eye of man can see. But we smooth out difficulties; we relieve stress; we correct mistakes; we take up other men’s burdens and by our efforts we make possible the peaceful life of men in a peaceful state.”

[John W. Davis, Address at 75th Anniversary Proceedings of the Association of the Bar of the City of New York, March 16, 1946]

He ended on this same theme, the power of peacemaking:

Before the wounds of injustice can heal, there must first come a feeling of peace. So, in a sense, a lawyer who helps make peace becomes something of a healer. A good beginning for settling controversy is to try to lower the tension between the real parties in interest.

In case you didn't know, I love Stuart Diamond’s book on negotiation called Getting More. I reference the process in that book at least weekly, if not daily. My copy sits on my desk at work and is often where I turn when confronted with an issue that I don’t know how to address. That isn’t to say it is the source of all knowledge, but the process therein has helped me collect the relevant pieces of a problem and evaluate the situation in ways that can lead to better outcomes. And when you are a professional problem solver, like attorneys are, that is a good thing.

One part of the process in the book deals with thinking about the picture in the other person’s head. I find myself coming back to this idea often, especially when it comes to furthering my client’s goals. Let’s say, for example, that a client comes to you with a goal to get a divorce. A simple enough goal from a legal standpoint that is both attainable and subject to state laws that lead to predictable outcomes. That said, for those that have practiced family law, a “simple” divorce can become unpredictable quick. This is because family law, like other areas of the law, is based on people’s emotions. Emotion or a lack thereof is ever present, at every document signing or hearing along the way. Ultimately, understanding your client’s emotions and the picture in her head when she says she wants a divorce is critical to reaching that goal.

So how do we really understand what is going on in someone else’s mind? A CT scan? That might give you an idea of the mechanics at play. A questionnaire? Maybe. An intake interview? Perhaps.

Image by Stan Dominguez CC BY 2.0.

While there are many ways to become better communicators, I would like to list two ways that have helped me get better at understanding the picture in my client’s heads.

1 - Training

Understanding an area of the law is basic competence. We have an ethical duty to be competent in the legal advice we give. But to become more than someone who can pass a family law exam is how you move from a newly minted attorney to a useful attorney. While experience will most definitely help, training will take you there quicker. Training on how people react in certain situations. Training on how a particular case type might affect the people involved. For example, people who have experienced trauma might communicate in a certain way. Understanding that communication will make you a better attorney in the area of law you practice.  Seek out training on those soft-skills that your time in law school didn’t teach, or maybe even harmed.

2 - Listening

In my opinion, Idaho Code 55-208 and 55-307 are the most overlooked statues in landlord/tenant law in Idaho. Typically, people go straight to Idaho Code title 6 chapter 3 when looking for answers to landlord/tenant issues. While that chapter includes key provisions regarding eviction, repair, and security deposits, 55-208 and 55-307 address two key situations that happen perhaps more regularly than all those situations combined. 

Idaho Code 55-208

55-208.  TERMINATION OF TENANCY AT WILL. A tenancy or other estate at will, however created, may be terminated: (1)  By the landlord’s giving notice in writing to the tenant, in the manner prescribed by the code of civil procedure, to remove from the premises within a period of not less than one (1) month, to be specified in the notice; or (2)  By the tenant giving notice in writing to the landlord that the tenant will be vacating the premises, on a date as specified in the notice, but not less than one (1) month from the date of notice.

This section governs lease termination in a very common situation. There must be a landlord/tenant relationship in place to be able to use this section but it essentially governs the classic hold-over tenants, aka a tenancy at will. 30-day written notice from either party can end it. 

Idaho Code 55-307

55-307.  CHANGE IN TERMS OF LEASE — NOTICE. (1) In all leases of lands or tenements, or of any interest therein from month to month, the landlord may, upon giving notice in writing at least fifteen (15) days before the expiration of the month, change the terms of the lease, to take effect at the expiration of the month. The notice, when served upon the tenant, shall of itself operate and be effectual to create and establish, as a part of the lease, the terms, rent and conditions specified in the notice, if the tenant shall continue to hold the premises after the expiration of the month. (2)  A local governmental unit shall not enact, maintain, or enforce an ordinance or resolution that would have the effect of controlling the amount of rent charged for leasing private residential property. This provision does not impair the right of any local governmental unit to manage and control residential property in which the local governmental unit has a property interest.

Like 55-208, this section addresses changes to a month-to-month lease. Again, a lease is needed (verbal or written works), but amending that lease when it is month-to-month is done with at least 15-day written notice. 

Interaction

If you are a tenant in Idaho, you are expressly exempt from being trespassed off the rental property you occupy. Idaho Code 18-7008 states in part the following:

Every person who willfully commits any trespass, by either . . .

(8) Every person, except under landlord-tenant relationship, who, being first notified in writing, or verbally by the owner or authorized agent of the owner of real property, to immediately depart from the same and who refuses to so depart, or who, without permission or invitation, returns and enters said property within a year, after being so notified.

Being part of a “landlord-tenant” relationship is key to meeting the trespass exemption. If that relationship has not yet been created or has ended by court order or termination of the lease term (provided proper notice is given) then the exemption does not apply. 

Image by David Niergarth on Flickr CC BY 2.0.

What makes a landlord-tenant relationship?

Typically, a lease creates a landlord-tenant relationship. A lease agreement can be written or verbal. As stated by the Idaho Attorney General, “[a]bsent a violation of public policy, the lease is the sole contract that will govern the landlord-tenant relationship for the duration of the tenancy.”

If the existence of a landlord-tenant relationship is in dispute, a tenant can look to prior behavior as evidence of the relationship. Acceptance of a security deposit or rent, previous lease agreements with the current or former property owner, or even consent to inhabit the rental are examples. 

Having a third party involved, such as a property management company, does not jeopardize the landlord-tenant relationship and, in fact, may add additional contractual obligations to the parties. 

Each landlord-tenant relationship “involves a unique set of circumstances.”

What types of tenancies exist?

As explained by the Legal Information Institute at Cornell Law School, there are typically four types of tenancies that are considered to be landlord-tenant relationships:

Term of Years Tenancy: The relationship lasts for a fixed period which is agreed upon in advance by both the landlord and tenant. When the period ends, so do the tenant's possessory rights. In this relationship, the tenant has the right to possess the land, to restrict others (including the landlord from entering the land, and to sublease or assign the property).

Periodic Tenancy: The relationship is automatically renewed unless the landlord gives advance notice of termination. In this relationship, the tenant has the right to possess the land, to restrict others (including the landlord from entering the land, and to sublease or assign the property).

Tenancy at Will: There is no fixed ending period. The relationship continues for as long as the tenant and landlord desire.

Tenancy at Sufferance: The tenant continues to inhabit the property after the lease expires.

Do lease violations end the landlord-tenant relationship?

A withheld judgment is a tool used by judges to incentivize compliance with probation terms and to allow someone to move on with his or her life after satisfactorily dealing with a mistake.

As described by legalbeagle.com:

A withheld judgment can allow the defendant to avoid a having a criminal conviction on his record. At the time of sentencing, the judge informs the defendant of the terms he must meet, which can include a probationary period, restitution fees paid to the court and victim, and rarely, jail time. The judge does not, however, enter the conviction as a judgment. If the defendant successfully completes all the terms of his probation and other sentencing requirements, the case is closed without entry of the judgment and the defendant's record remains clear. If, however, the defendant violates his probation terms, the court enters the original judgment and the conviction becomes a part of the defendant's permanent record.

In Idaho, withheld judgments are governed by Rule 33(d) of the Idaho Criminal Rules and  Rule 10 of the Idaho Misdemeanor Criminal Rules.  Judges are given a broad range of required considerations and must include specific terms of probation when applying a withheld judgment. The rules also essentially say that, barring some extraordinary circumstance, withheld judgment is a one time option. Substantively, withheld judgment is written into the state’s criminal code under Idaho Code §§ 19-2601 and 2604. Probational reporting is required. See Idaho Code § 19-2606.

In a broader sense, withheld judgement is based in a policy interest of applying mercy to people who admit to committing a crime and verifiably show an intent not to recommit the error. It is not necessarily mercy from the punishment itself, but rather mercy from the ongoing stigma of a past punishment once the offender has shown through probation compliance a willingness to change. 

As lawyers, it is easy sometimes to walk out of a courtroom wearing an invisible black robe. When people come to us to solve their problems, a personal sentencing of sorts can quickly occur internally. “Well, why did you do that?” “What is wrong with your priorities?” “How dumb can you get?” The list can go on. Natural outcroppings of the candor caused by our profession’s sacred confidentiality. Reconciling clients with reality is not necessarily a bad thing but learning to question those gut reactions can do two very powerful things.

1. Withholding judgment on a professional level can create stronger and more trusting attorney/client relationships.

Joe DeBonis of the University of New Mexico explained it like this:

In order to preserve quality relationships, it helps if we challenge our assumptions and slow down the process when we are presented with what we perceive to be a questionable situation. Remaining open and curious and asking questions, rather than reacting with a judgmental statement, is an important part of what focusing on relationships is about.

2. Withholding judgment on a personal level might just make you a whole lot happier.

I have always had a hard time with the idea of creating “awareness” for something (maybe because I’m a little jealous that I did not invent those magnetic awareness ribbons people put on their cars) but part of the practice of mindfulness is becoming aware of the judgments we make all the time. As Dr. Elisha Goldstein stated:

The reason non-judgment is used is because left alone, the brain will automatically judge things as good or bad, right or wrong, fair or unfair, important or unimportant, urgent or non-urgent and so on. This happens so fast that our experiences are automatically colored right when we get to them, so mindfulness is about being aware of that and taking a fresh perspective.

When we are empowered to choose in a situation, judgment is a good and important part of life. When we have no control in a situation, say regarding another human being’s decisions, the empowerment there can come from withholding judgment. The whole giving someone “the benefit of the doubt” thing. A realization that your job on a basic level as a human is not to note the flaws in how everyone else does their job but instead do the best you can with what you have. I think this concept is perhaps most applicable to the legal community who is taught from day one to “issue spot.” 

The following is an actual unpublished legal opinion by Judge Michael A. Musmanno written in December of 1936 regarding the legal status of Santa Claus. Enjoy.

In re Legality and Authenticity of Santa Claus Docket No. 52–December, 1936.

OPINION 20

Musmanno, J.:

During the last month several requests have been made of this Court for a judicial pronouncement on the legal status of Santa Claus. There have been some suggestions to the effect that the white-bearded gentlemen, with their fur-trimmed red suits, who stand before department stores, with beaming smiles and bulging sacks on their backs, are deceiving the public, in that they purport to represent a personage that does not exist. There have even been intimations that perhaps warrants of arrest should issue against these Santa Clauses, charging them with false pretense.

So that no one may be misled, we hereby declare that anyone initiating such a prosecution, on the supposition that there is no Santa Claus, will not only have the case dismissed against him but he will be required to pay the costs of the suit in addition.

Santa Claus is a reality recognizable by the law and he will be protected in this court against all aspersions and insinuations to the contrary. If the law recognizes John Doe, it will certainly respect Santa Claus. This Court can state with judicial correctness that it has seen Santa Claus, but it has never had any ocular observation of John Doe.

There are many famous and celebrated characters who are as real to us as the flesh and blood people of our daily contacts, and yet they have not come within the range of our physical vision. For instance, has anyone seen Jack Frost? But who can deny his existence? Jack Frost, who takes a green forest and converts it into a sublime and dazzling riot of color, each tree an inverted golden chandelier with crystals of scarlet, orange and bronze, turning their gorgeous facets to the mellow light of the autumnal sun. Jack Frost, who in the wintry morning etches fairy castles and prancing silver steeds on the window pane. This lovable sprite and incomparable artist does his work when we sleep and then gayly dances away before we can open an eye to him. And as Jack Frost decorates the leaves of the forests and the glass of our windows without our seeing him, so does Santa Claus put warmth into our heart, life into our spirit and cheer into our nature without our being aware of it.

Has anyone seen Dan Cupid? But who doubts the being of that chubby little lad who visits royal palaces as well as peasants’ homes? Who can question the accuracy of his aim, and the power of the bow behind his arrow when its reverberations can shake and have shaken the foundations of empires? Deny the reality of Cupid and you call into question the verity of the tender passion that brings maiden and youth together and makes possible the family–the bond that holds society together.

Has anyone clapped eyes on Uncle Sam? But who dares to say that he is not a factuality? Uncle Sam, who wears in his hat the stars of the heavens which canopy our brave land, and who adorns his clothing with the red of the sacrifice of our martyrs, the white of the purity of our nation’s ideals, and the blue of the devotion of its every citizen. Deny Uncle Sam and you deny the existence of the greatest nation of all history–the United States of America.

Santa Claus is a reality. He stands not only in front of the department stores but he is in every home, sitting with the children on his knee before the crackling fireplace, chuckling with self-satisfied felicity as he surveys the plenty of today and contemplates the hope and the promise of even better days yet to come.

Santa Claus is not a figment of the imagination. He is an actuality and does not live alone for the children. In fact, the adults derive even more soul-filling ecstasy from the amiable and corpulent gentleman than do the kiddies. Little Susie and Billy howl with delight when they espy the life-size talking doll and the bright sled under the Christmas tree. But the parents first had their fun when they purchased the gifts, their joy was repeated when they slyly placed them in the stockings, and they experienced a third thrill when they heard the shouts of happiness of their children as they discovered the presents their hearts have craved.

If there were no Santa Claus in the courts, there would be no justice, because Santa Claus represents the spirit of mercy, goodness and sympathy; and without those qualities there would be no intelligent appraisement of the human factors involved in every trial and every sentencing.

Santa Claus is the symbol of amiable kindness; he is the token of smiling charity; he is the badge of all that is cheerfully benevolent in the make-up of man.

The best judge is he who walks with Santa Claus. Even in sentencing the worst offender one must remember that the defendant still belongs to the human race, and in the final reckoning we are all brothers. Even judges will some day be judged, and we will be much relieved if we can be assured that on that final day the spirit of Christmas will prevail in the Judgment Hall.

Thus, after considering all the evidence in the case, which is made up of the testimony of the seasons, the attestations of the human heart, and the exhibits presented by Mother Nature; and after listening to the rosy-cheeked laughter of the December winds laden with the glittering snow, each flake a pattern of beauty and harmony, we conclude and find that Santa Claus is a reality. We find further that without him life would be dull and cheerless, and that with him the heart is merry and the spirit gay, as life should be.

Therefore, in view of the foregoing we hereby order, adjudge and decree that anyone within our jurisdiction who questions the authenticity and the genuineness of Santa Claus will be declared in contempt of court and he will be committed to the bastile, there to be kept in dungeon vile until his soul expands and the spirit of Christmas enters therein, when he shall then be released, provided he shall shout with whole lungs and full heart:

“Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas!”

In 1980... (see video below)

I have grown frustrated with the improper entanglement of being pro-American and anti-immigration. This applies to both ends of the political spectrum. Life is too complex and nuanced to reduce down to a one-size-fits-all-bumper-sticker answer. I think the over simplification and subsequent tribal chest pounding does a disservice to all involved after either side picks which outrage to use to ignite their base as opposed to presenting real solutions to problems.

The way we talk about immigration is a great case-study of this. Immigration is both a timeless and contemporary issue. I was shocked by the reasonableness of Mr. Reagan and Mr. Bush in this video, which seems to be the response reasonableness is generally trying to avoid. It was a battle of who could treat the people affected by immigration with the most respect. Compassionate conservatism shined through. 

What happened to this respect for humanity? Political correctness becomes a non-issue when you act and speak in a respectful manner to the people you are talking to and/or about. Respecting people for who they are, what they look like, and who and what they care about. Respect is an important part of being emotionally intelligent. 

Now, I’m not the first one to articulate this idea. Martie Sirois said of being PC “It’s about not oppressing a group of marginalized people... But it’s mostly about not being a jerk.” Someone has even developed a Chrome extension that replaces “political correctness” with “treating people with respect.” 

Being “politically correct” is absolutely taken to the extreme, sometimes to the point of being absurd. When it is, it is easy to see why the natural reaction is to be disrespectfully un-PC. As Jerry Seinfeld (one of my heroes) opined, being PC can hurt good-natured comedy. Regarding employment, the Harvard Business Review shard the following observation:

“Despite this obvious progress, we believe that political correctness is a double-edged sword. While it has helped many traditionally underrepresented employees to experience their workplace as more inclusive, the PC rule book can hinder employees’ ability to develop effective relationships across potentially divisive group differences.”

The same article identified five principles that can help to overcome tensions the PC movement has tried to correct. Regardless of your thoughts on being PC, the principles can transform superficial communication into “learning oriented interaction.” They are as follows:

Pause to short-circuit the emotion and reflect.

Connect with others in ways that affirm the importance of relationships.

Question yourself to help identify your blind spots and discover what makes you defensive.

Get genuine support that doesn’t necessarily validate your point of view but, rather, helps you gain a broader perspective.

Shift your mind-set from “You need to change” to “What can I change?”

The town I live and practice in was in the path of totality for the eclipse this past Monday. It was a life-highlight. I watched the crescent sun fade in my black glasses to nothing. I took off my glasses to find this in the sky:

I inexplicably wanted to cry and cheer and hug everyone around me. I could see planets and stars. The temperature dropped. 11:33 a.m. became twilight. 

I can not overhype what I experienced. The exactness of everything that made it happen left me feeling the divine order of our universe. That said, after the eclipse passed, I was left thinking about the sun. It was still there, ever-present, glueing our world together high in the sky, and yet no longer the focus of the world. Galileo is attributed to have said:

“The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent on it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe to do.”

I also thought about the moon. Due to its phases, I never think much of seeing it or not. I do notice it, finding myself looking up when I am outside at night, but again, it rarely captivates me, let alone the world.

The sun and the moon have been staples of human life for as long as human life has been a staple of this planet. Yet magic happened this past week when the two combined in the most shocking and magical natural event I have ever seen. I think ultimately that is what magic is, combining things that could not be more ordinary and in turn creating or experiencing something that could not be more extraordinary. 

As attorneys, I think unpacking the mundane and common to show relevance and importance is a winning strategy. For example, I often represent people appealing a denial of SSI or disability benefits from the Social Security Administration. Success has come by not only conveying medical records to the court but how those records line up with an individual’s ability to brush his/her own teeth, go grocery shopping, or other everyday activities. Projecting the objective records onto the subjective life experience often shows a Judge who your client really is and the struggles he/she faces.