#job interview

The guy told us that you had to have a firm handshake, look him in the eyes, sit up straight and be still, and have a loud, confident voice if you wanted your interview to go well.

Well, I’m autistic. An autist who stims by rocking back and forth in my chair or constantly shifting how I sit. An autist who can’t make eye contact without getting nervous and feeling in pain.

And of all the people in class to pick on, he chose me as an example and told me to shake his hand and make eye contact and all of that. So I did the handshake part, but especially since I got really anxious about my stims, I wasn’t able to do any of the other stuff. And he basically said “hey, if you can’t do that, you won’t get a job”

😃???

So I got really anxious when our biggest project that unit was to film ourselves doing a fake job interview, where we would get docked points if we didn’t make eye contact and were fidgeting, as well as not answering questions well.

Despite the fact that I had already had a part time job, all my confidence went out the window because it had been fast food and I was still hired despite my stimming. I would get panic attacks even thinking about the filming process because I didn’t know how I would sit still and make eye contact for a minimum of five minutes, especially when I was nervous. So I just never did the project and let it tank my grade.

I was really worried after that unit that I’d never get another job again, especially after I quit the fast food one, because now I “knew” I was doing everything wrong, and they wouldn’t take into consideration that I couldn’t help what my body did.

But guess what? My most recent job that I’ve had for a good while now was an interview over a phone call, so I luckily didn’t have to worry about it.