it/its β actually schizophrenic β adult β AO3 and main tumblr are both DrowningInRedInk β not quite as much of a shipper as implied by the fact that wincest is in my url β yes I like wincest and deanjohn and samjohn but I am aro above all
Hello everyone! I'm schizosamwincester. If you want something to call me, I've been going by Satan online for a long time now. I'm 23 and I use it/its pronouns. My main blog is @drowninginredink and DrowningInRedInk is also my ao3. And yeah, as the url implies, I'm schizophrenic.
I write a lot of one shot fanfics, generally pure angst or angsty smut. I send out weekly Wincest Wednesdays asks. I make the occasional webweave. I talk probably way too much about how Dean is aromantic and aplatonic, and really should try estrogen. As you can probably tell from the username, I like using Sam as my self-insert, particularly when it comes to schizophrenia.
Outside of fandom, I'm a nursing aide, I play viola and sing in choir, I play DND and GM Monster of the Week (which is a tttrpg you should really try if you like Supernatural), and I sometimes do theater.
I do ship wincest, as you can tell from the url, but I'm aromantic above all, so I write and talk a lot more about gen stuff than anything. Also I really enjoy deanjohn and samjohn. I make sure to tag all ships, so even if you don't like wincest (or deanjohn or samjohn), this blog should be safe for you if you filter that tag.
My general tagging system is very straightforward descriptions. Characters are tagged #firstname lastname, or #name supernatural if they don't have a last name. Headcanons are all tagged as like, #trans femme Dean Winchester or #schizophrenic Sam Winchester. I am not creative about this, so if you're looking for something, it shouldn't be too hard to find.
Don't be afraid to DM or send asks! Just know I'm extremely talkative, so not only will I reply, it will be multiple paragraphs.
All my webweaves are here. My wincest wednesday manifesto is here. My fics are all below the cut:
Let's see where this ends - Dean/Jess
Fixing all the problems that you made in your own head - schizophrenic!John, no supernatural AU
You sound absurd, even if you're right - schizophrenic!Sam, sampreg, Sam & Dean, past Sam/Lucifer
The Story Doesn't Change - schizophrenic!Sam, Sam & Dean, Mystery Spot
Everything I thought I knew has fallen out of view - schizophrenic!Sam, Sam & Dean, It's a Terrible Life
the only hoax I believe in - Dean/John, Lucifer Rising
Do you ever feel that this should be officially the end? - Pre-Series, John, Murder/Suicide
Pretty Thing (you'll be complete) - Closeted trans woman!Dean/Post-op trans woman!Bela (smut)
Hold your breath, I'll hold mine too - past Sam/Jess, Sam/Dean, sampreg, miscarriage
You can call it loneliness - Bobby/John, Dean/John, Sam/Dean
If She Had Lived - Jess Lives, Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder, Sam/Jess, Jess/OC
Dangerous Questions - Aplatonic Dean, Dean/Cassie
That's just not us - Aplatonic Dean, Sam & Dean
For the best - Aplatonic John, John's breakup with Bobby
Sissy - closeted trans woman!Dean/John (part 1)
Sister - Sam finds out about trans woman!Dean (part 2)
Subsist - Vignettes between Sam and closeted trans woman!Dean (part 3)
Insisted - Bobby finds out about trans woman!Dean (part 4)
Drink to Forget - AU where Sam dies in Carry On instead of Dean
I remember when your head caught flame - Sam/John, underage, first kiss
If He Asked - one-sided destiel, established wincest
You can pin and mount me like a butterfly - dean/john, smut, castration
Like in the movies - aromantic Dean, very underage Dean/John
But they were fucked up in their turn - closeted trans woman!Dean & closeted trans woman!John
Take My Body - trans man!Sam/John
A disfiguring chicken pox of the soul - weirdcest, weecest, trans boy!Sam/trans girl!Dean (not that either knows it yet)
like the baptism he never had - Sam/Dean, necrophilia, piss (All Hell Breaks Loose)
Silver Linings - Sam/Dean, necrophilia, piss (yes, again. But this time it's Mystery Spot)
Like Flies from your Face - Dean & Bobby, suicidal!Dean (All Hell Breaks Loose)
Tonight I give in to the fantasy - Trans woman!Dean, sex worker!Dean
No other box I choose to use - humanfucker!Gabriel (Hammer of the Gods)
Sucker love is heaven sent - Gabriel/Adam smut
Live through this, and you won't look back - trans woman!Sam
I'll use you as a warning sign - Sam/John, Dean/John, unplanned pregnancy
Hobbies - Dean & Bobby (& Sam), Dean's love of hentai
the road is so long - one-sided John/Dean, pining Dean, Christmas
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read on a03 | read on sqwa
spn | wincest | explicit | 3,000 words
π€ Sam shits himself during sex. that's the entire fic. to be clear. that and some post-nut clarity
β οΈ "lady doth protest too much" + "I regret everything I've ever done" style dubcon
The room tilts around Sam. He's doing the worst, most shameful thing he can imagine and he's doing it in front of Dean. On Dean.
But Dean hasn't shied away, hasn't even flinched. Is still hard and still touching him, pupils blown as he looks at the mess between Sam's legs.
α°.αa while back, @drowninginredink informed me that this fandom is well below the scatfic quota so I'm doing my part. if it drives away some of my followers more's the better
listen. I do not ascribe to the idea that Dean is a cardboard cutout of an abusive husbandfather to Sam, but that confrontation IS what domestic violence looks like and it's extremely intimate partner violence coded
acting like he's going to leave to force a fight
undermining and demonizing (haha) another relationship
hitting Sam in the face when he's not expecting it and is less likely to hit back (TWICE)
breaking things
saying that in slightly different circumstances he would kill Sam
using guilt and god to try to modify Sam's behavior
questioning Sam's ability to make his own choices, thereby implying that he needs Dean to make them for him
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I think I'll go nice and broad here. It's pride month, so talk about absolutely any LGBTQIA+ headcanon you have for supernatural. How did the Winchester of your choosing discover they were attracted to the same gender? Which side character was definitely stealth trans? Who do you know in your heart was aspec or intersex? And etc. You have free rein to spread whatever gospel you want, whether it explicitly contains any wincest or not, as long as it is queer
-@schizosamwincester
oh man where to start (ignore that im practically a week late)
sam- demisexual 100%, he needs some kind of connection, one night stands are not for him. i like to think hes open to any gender but tends to have a preference for women, but that might just be the urge to be canon-compliant in me. but i AM a sucker for the idea that he played around at stanford, giving and taking up the ass
dean- he dont like labels yk? he wants to believe hes a strong-willed red-blooded american who only fucks women, but i like to think he's not as straight and narrow as he tries to be. i also like the hc that hes aromanitc, but that could be projection
cas- i know that jimmy is a cis male but i like to think cas is bare, like a barbie doll. he walks that line between pansexual and aroace, all or nothing and hes not sure which it is
as for side characters:
kevin is 100% trans, hes such a rat i love him. please, his last name is TRAN, imagine all the jokes he's made
ok the thing I like most about this is all of the nullification talk has been about late seasons Sam, which is when I think he'd really want to not have a dick
if the dick gets taken away earlier and in a highly non-clinical way.... then he has what he wants (no dick) but also deep, gnarly scar tissue and major surgery and urinary problems so he has to think about his dicklessness even more than he'd be stuck thinking about his dick! marvelous!
Samβs family was God knows how many miles away. Dad hadn't said a word to him since he was nineteen. Sam couldn't remember the last time he lit a match, or held a gun, or even looked at a motel. For years, Sam went to the same school every day and slept in the same bed every night. For the first time, Sam's life was completely normal.
It didn't fix a goddamn thing.
When he caught the scent of someone smoking outside, Sam saw his father dropping a half-finished cigarette into a grave. His mind found a supernatural explanation for every news story he heard. In the middle of conversation, Sam swore he saw his friend's eyes flash with black.
On weekends, Sam accepted Bradyβs never-ending invitations to parties, then came home and studied until the words of his textbooks were burned into his retinas, but when he laid down in bed, he was still overcome with the urge to abandon Stanford completely and find something, anything to waste. His fingers itched to feel a trigger beneath them. Despite himself, Sam stole salt packets from the dining hall to line his windows and slept with a silver blade beneath his pillow.
Then he met Jessica.
Jess was like nothing Sam had ever known. Her voice was soft; her eyes were kind; her very skin glowed like the sun lay just under its surface. Sam lost his virginity to rough, calloused handsβJessβ were so smooth that he was surprised she ever even held a pencil. Sam grew up in dimly-lit motel rooms, hiding in shadows and sneaking out in the middle of the night. Jess carried sunshine into every room. Her smile alone contained more warmth than a summer day in Flagstaff.
It wasn't enough.
When Sam woke with another body in his bed, he instantly smelled sweat, motor oil, and musk. If he closed his eyes while Jess was going down on him, he expected to see buzzed hair between his thighs when he opened them. Somehow, the second her small, soft hands grabbed Samβs hips, they grew and became covered in scars and callouses. Sam tried to leave the past behind, but it haunted him regardless. There was no way to salt and burn his own memories.
Jess' presence made no difference. Sam still had to turn off the news whenever he entered a room. He kept salt packets in his pockets. His silver knife was always tucked into his belt.
Lately, when Sam went to sleep, he saw Jess on the ceiling, lit by a ball of flames. Even living in paradise, Sam couldn't help but look for monsters.
Sam loved Jess, but she didn't change a thing. He was still the man that he was raised to be.
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john and dean pre fucking, john tells him "open up" and dean dutifully opens his lips, john slips two fingers inside and feels around, feels around his tongue and teeth and cheeks, soft padding of fingertips feeling their way around dean's mouth, and dean is panting around them, he's achingly hard and has no idea why
What if Sam didn't notice the first time Dean broke into his apartment? What if Dean got in, helped himself to a beer from the fridge, and then just wandered around the living room? Looking at pictures on the walls (in the dark, so he doesn't notice the corner of a picture of him and Sam sticking out of the LSAT study book on the coffee table), looking at the uncluttered, settled, homeyness of this place Sam lives. With a girl. With not Dean.
What if eventually, he gets tired of waiting for Sam's hunter instincts to kick in, because clearly Sam's gotten rusty if he hasn't woken up yet, so he makes his silent (maybe not-so-silent, maybe he's making a bit of noise on purpose because he wantsneedshungers to feel Sam against him like he used to, when they were younger and sparring) way to the bedroom. What if he pauses at the door, open just a crack, because those sounds are muffled but quite clearly involved and Dean's never had a chance to walk in on Sammy with a girl before. Walk in on Sammy naked, sure, that was inevitable with how they grew up. Walk in on Sammy jerkin' it, yeah. That was also inevitable (especially when he was trying to, needed desperately to see Sam when he was lost in pleasure, loose and wanton and so so forbidden). But Sammy with a girl? Heck, for all Dean knows, Sam left for college a virgin (thank god).
What if Dean peeks through the crack in the door, and suddenly he can't breathe because those sounds are muffled because Sam's biting a pillow, knuckles white where he's holding fistfuls of it, and a blonde goddess with a leather halter on her hips is thrusting into him and they're glistening with sweat in the moonlight and all Dean can think about is how much he hates that woman, how much he wants to be the one holding Sam's waist in a bruising grip, how much he wants to feel Sam tight and hot around him.
What if Dean sees the woman - Jess, her name is Jess, his stalking has taught him that much - lean down, what if Dean hears her say "you like that, baby brother?" and what if Sam's cry as he comes gets Dean harder than diamonds and Dean has to leave, has to get out now because if he doesn't...
if he doesn't...
god, if he doesn't he might have to pull her off of Sam, because that should be him and Sam knows it and clearly she knows it too.
What if Dean had to come back the next night, because he couldn't trust himself that first time he broke in?
Okay all I'm saying is that if you didn't actually look at Jared Paladecki and just went off the average fandom physical descriptions of Sam Winchester (really tall, big tits, at least a little bit feminine) then Klinefelter's Syndrome Sam is actually a really good headcanon. I mean it falls apart if you actually look at Jared, I have no reason to believe he's at all intersex at all, he has traditionally masculine features and just happens to have tall genes and pecs, but my point is if you wanted to make Sam this particular flavor of intersex, it isn't that much of a leap. It does result in a Sam who is still very tall and well-endowed in the chest region.
And for the non-medical nerds, Klinefelter's means XXY chromosomes. They're generally born with typical male genitalia, but then they generally don't get normal male testosterone levels at puberty and will have elevated estrogen levels. So common traits include infertility, gynecomastia, low body hair, more feminine features, development delays, lower muscle tone, and for some reason, being extremely tall. Like. I've had a patient with it. And Jesus. His ass was about the same height as my head. That level of tall.
And. Because I'm a contrarian. The most delightful part of this headcanon/AU is that it would also mean Sam has a very small penis. As in like, child size because it never got that puberty growth. And given everyone and their mother thinks Sam Winchester has a horse cock, it is just delightful to me to come up with an AU where the entire point is that actually he doesn't.
John Winchester the man you are. You found the time to hunt and search for the YED, constantly worried about your youngest son being True Evil, parentified your other son, (forced) trained both sons to be hunters, drunk cried to your eldest, was weird with your eldest in basically every regard, repeatedly scolded your youngest for wanting an education, argued with him all the time, and occasionally sent your eldest away for weeks to months when he made a mistake. you were on a mission, not a good one, and you were bad at it, but you certainly managed your time in a creative way
This blog exists to encourage as many people as possible to post Supernatural fics about physical disablity during Disability Pride Month 2026 (July). Please use the tag #DisabilityNatural 2026 to promote your works, and tag this page so that I can reblog them all! If you write a fanfic posted on AO3, please also add them to the collection below:
DisabilityNatural 2026 Collection
Additional rules/FAQs below the cut:
What do you mean by physically disabled?
I am using the term "physical disability" for this event because the type of disability headcanons that are very well-represented in Supernatural fandom are mental illnesses and neurodivergency. This is intended to increase the number of fics for literally all other disabilities. So while for lack of a better phrase, I may use the term "physical disability," I'm not just referring to disabilities impacting mobility or anything like that. Sensory disabilities (blindness, deafness, etc), chronic pain, chronic illness, invisible disabilities, etc, are perfectly welcome. And you can absolutely make your characters be neurodivergent or mentally illΒ in additionΒ to having other disabilities. I just started this event to specifically address a lack of fics about non-neurodivergence disabilities, so I don't want it to be filled up with a bunch of fics about mental illness. Those are cool (and I've written plenty), but not what this event is about.
Rules/Guidelines:
The only requirements for this collection are that fics be a) about Supernatural, and b) contain physical disability. Both AUs and canon-compliant fics and disabilities are allowed.
All ratings, topics, ships, etc, are allowed. Supernatural fandom in particular is very often divided into destiel and wincest shippers, and I would like to make it explicitly clear that both groups (and those who don't like either) are allowed and encouraged to participate in this event. Please keep all ship wars out of this event and only leave respectful comments on each others' work.
Crossovers and early/late submissions will be accepted.
You do not need to be disabled to submit to this event! I, the person running this, am not physically disabled. I just want to encourage more representation.
Miscellaneous:
My main is @drowninginredink, so that's where all likes are coming from, and my spn blog is @schizosamwincester.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
β Live Streamingβ Interactive Chatβ Private Showsβ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
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So I finally realized why I can't quite get behind the popular headcanon of "Dean is straight except for Sam," at least not as it's usually written. I really don't care if he likes men that he isn't related to or not, but for some reason the whole idea bugged me and I couldn't figure out why. It just never fully sat right even when I wrote a Dean who was only into women.
It's the "straight" part. That's the problem. Even if Dean Winchester only likes girls, even if he doesn't have any non-familial feelings for Sam or John, even if he's completely heterosexual, Dean Winchester is still fundamentally queer. Because Dean Winchester is deeply aromantic.
The underlying narrative in a lot of these posts is that Dean is just a regular straight guy except for his incestuous desires, and like, yes, people can headcanon and write whatever they want, but as someone who is aromantic and allosexual, I just don't buy that. Sure, he loves girls. He wants to fuck girls a lot. He also displays absolutely no evidence of any romantic attraction for them. Even though he doesn't know the word aromantic and I'm sure he dies completely unaware of it, he would still be aware that he's Different.
I remember being 14 and having the thought "am I gay? I know I like guys, but I feel like I don't like them enough." Likewise, even if Dean has never, ever felt anything towards a man, he's at least going to have noticed that the way he feels about women is different than the way other men do. I mean, look at the biggest example of a heterosexual relationship in his life: his parents. Dean doesn't understand being so deeply in romantic love with a woman that 22 years later, he's still trying to avenge her. That's simply not a feeling that he has. I think by age 26, out of all his encounters with women, he will have noticed.
Don't get me wrong. If he's straight, I still do absolutely think he'd take issue with being called queer or gay. He'd still maintain that Sam doesn't count. He still would express disgust at the idea of having sex with any other man. All of that is still true. But just because he would try and keep up the facade that he's a normal straight guy doesn't mean that I want to. I know better.
So yeah, it isn't actually that I am attached to the idea of Dean as an mlm, I just can't get behind pretending he's essentially cishet. An aromantic heterosexual man does not experience attraction the same way as an alloallo straight man. That distinction matters to me.
samdean and rubysam all the way but also samjess to explore the deep-seated, gut-wrenching feeling of guilt that sam winchester gets about sex even when heβs doing nothing wrong
yes you throw up after your big brother fucks you and having sex with a demon makes you feel like youβre damned beyond redemption, but how about the fact that you feel like your chest is collapsing in after you sleep with your girlfriend who you love? whatβs going on with that sam?
This feels good, Sam tells himself. He repeats it in his head.
This feels good, god this feels good. It feels so good.
Anyone would give most, if not all of, anything to have Jessica Moore on her knees in front of them. She's everything the movies say California girls are: tall and tan with sun-lightened hair and a picture-perfect smile. She's everything locker room boys say good cocksuckers are: enthusiastic and confident with a well-timed twist and the deepest deepthroat he's ever felt.
It feels good and Sam is nauseous, one handed twisting firm but careful into Jess' mess of curls, looking at the wall covered in art they picked at a local craft fair in Palo Alto.
It feels good, but he's never liked having his dick played with, not really. It makes his skin hot and tight; makes him think about Oklahoma and how the plains truly do stretch from border to border, only interrupted by the earthfuck of oil rigs and the occasional McDonald's rising up like some executive had decided the land needed more height variation.
Makes him think about being touched in the dark and told, "See? It feels good." And it did, it really did.
