19 actually means 4

Shadowheart having trouble talking about herself and how she's feeling, keeping unnecessary secrets that sometimes spiral out of control.

Halsin falling back into a leadership mindset, removing his own emotions/wants/needs in favor of the greater good of the group, sometimes to the determent of his own relationships.

Karlach who is so afraid of being alone again that she becomes desperately clingy and protective, to the point of smothering.

Astarion who is so deathly afraid of being trapped and controlled again that he sometimes refuses to listen to his partner just to know that he can.

Lae'zel feeling so vulnerable when around her partner that she overcompensates by performing an even tougher exterior, especially around other people.

Wyll struggling to find peace in the small intimate moments when his hero fantasies and hopeless romanticism push him to make constant grand gestures.

Minthara being so down to the bone loyal that she loses a part of herself with each lost partner.

Shadowheart creating a mostly one-sided rivalry. Trying to heal everyone up fully, not let Halsin do what he said he would. She’s obviously the better healer: Shar is her goddess, and this druid fought against her. His animalistic magic and “skill” can’t be anything compared to what she can do through Shar.

But of course there is only so much Shadowheart can do on her own, especially on more intense days. So Halsin still helps around the camp. He heals, he gives the leader advice when asked, he continues pouring over his notes. She tries to insult his healing, but she cannot find a fault. All she can muster is that he isn’t really helping, he’s just taking up space in camp, he’s not doing enough, not like the rest.

And then the days when Halsin can actually help heal the group… Does he ever see a wound and flash back to a time he had to heal a similar wound on himself? Punishments from the drow House that kept him enslaved, or a bit more recently from his “many times” visiting the Underdark since then?

And it pissed me off so badly that I spent the ENTIRE WORK DAY today compiling evidence from every project my team has ever done for her, pulling past emails she’d sent us, putting together an entire case proving that she had been the problem all along. That she got projects mixed up, that she’d made requests that were nonsensical, literally everything you could possibly imagine. Screenshots of emails, reports we’d submitted, EVERYTHING.

This woman in particular has been terrorizing my team for years, her name is almost a slur in my office, I had simply had ENOUGH of her.

I put all of this evidence together and sent it to all of my bosses at 4:30pm. Then I took a long break to eat a sweet treat and drink some tea.

After my break, my bosses all called in an emergency meeting with me and they said they read my report and fucking loved it. And I sat on a teams call with my boss’ boss as she wrote my nemesis the scathing email I had always fantasized about sending, using the evidence I’d compiled, and hit send.