I don't think we get to spend years rewarding withdrawal, hypervigilance, cancellation of plans, avoidance of strangers, suspicion of crowds, and moral self-surveillance, then turn around and act shocked that a lot of people are socially rusty, anxious, weird, or more homebound.
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And fuck the jigsaw puzzle imagery advanced by the eugenicists at Autism Speaks. We’re not a “puzzle” to be “solved“
Half of all people killed by cops have a disability, because cops aren’t trained to recognize or deal with people with disabilities and very few places have people who are trained for those situations easily accessible during emergencies. So the cops come in and do what they’re paid to do - murder anyone who’s inconvenient to the state
Kayden Clarke was an autistic trans man who also had PTSD, who was shot and killed by Arizona police after having the cops called on him for being suicidal. His friend believes he was having a panic attack caused by the PTSD flashbacks he’d been having all week.
During the interaction, one cop left to get a “less than lethal” device “such as a beanbag shotgun,” which are weapons and can permanently disable and kill people. As the ACLU pointed out, they could have left the building when they felt unsafe due to Kayden having a knife; instead, they shot him in the stomach.
He was misgendered repeatedly by his mother, the police, and the news (& had apparently been denied testosterone by a doctor “until his disease [autism] was cured” which contributed to his poor mental health).
Do not call the cops on autistic people if it is at all possible and definitely do not fucking call them on suicidal autistic people (or suicidal people in general).
Because I was now a man, I could not speak about what it was like to be a woman. Because I had been a woman, I could never really speak about what it was like to be a man. Do the math: I could not speak. It was a double erasure, a double bind, in which every experience I had was false, and so nothing I said was credible. I could no longer derive authority from my experiences before transition, and shouldn’t even cite them — I had never “really” been a woman, so those things hadn’t happened — but those experiences could always be weaponized against me to prove I wasn’t “really” the man I claimed to be.
They call it erasure, when this happens. I wasn’t prepared for how literal the term was. Every day, I could feel myself disappear.
— Eraserhead: On writer's block and being a gender traitor by Jude Doyle
There are many good paragraphs but this stuck out the most:
"If “man” and “woman” are opposed and mutually exclusive categories, if men can only ever be predators and women can only ever be prey, then trans men can’t exist. We are logically impossible under the terms of the current system. You either “treat us like men” by voiding out half our lives, or you write us back into womanhood by denying our male identities. I knew all that, at least in theory, but when I came out, I actually saw my life story disappearing into other people’s blind spots. I watched myself become unthinkable in real time."
Also these:
"This wasn’t about accountability. This was people tactically forgetting my entire life,including incidents from my life they had personally witnessed or been involved in, so that they could shame me for transitioning. It was bad for me to be a man; if I was a man, I was a bad man, I was all the worst things men are. I was hulking, I was threatening, I was predatory, I was violent."
"I was treated as both genders, but only the most monstrous stereotype of each one."
Because that is exactly it. Anti-transmasculinity is being both erased and vilified, and then gaslit out of speaking about those experiences by the people who are erasing and vilifying you.
"The idea that I had always occupied a privileged position within patriarchy was, frankly, untrue; nor did it seem to me that a trans person was any less gender-marginalized than your average cis woman. What privilege I had was conditional, and these books were no guide. Men who wanted to “forge a positive masculinity” (and everyone was very clear that I needed one of those) were encouraged to get in touch with their “feminine sides.” Maybe that was healthy for cis guys, but I had been forced to do feminine things, and present in feminine ways, for the entirety of my young life. Whatever liberation I had achieved came from giving myself permission to stop."
As did the ending:
"When I write these days, I try to remind myself that whatever I’m afraid of saying is already true, and denial will not change it. I remind myself that the wrong people benefit from my silence, and will use it to write a version of my life I can’t recognize, or just write me out of the world. There is no established story or role for me; I belong to a category the world is still learning to imagine. I cannot account for the world as other people imagine it. I cannot give you every man’s story, every trans man’s story, every trans person’s story; I don't know them. What I do know is that every new story helps map the territory. All I can do for you, from where I'm standing, is tell you how things are."
Folks, if you don't know who Emi Koyama was, you should. Her website (eminism.org, which is a delightful pun) has a ton of her work entirely for free.
You can read the Transfeminist Manifesto in particular here. Emi considered it a historical document and she wrote a very good self-critique in 2008 (included in the document) on the subject of the Manifesto, white feminism, and the lack of inclusion of trans and genderqueer people who aren't trans women. I highly encourage everyone who wants to involve themselves in transfeminism to read her work, not because it is perfect, but because I do think Emi Koyama's Manifesto represents the best intentions for transfeminism: the desire to challenge cissexism, to take activism seriously and compassionately, and a commitment to being open and honest about where we fall short and how we can do better.
I really appreciate this quote from her, which I hadn't seen before, on the subject of feminism needing to "fit in" trans people:
Cis feminists do not own feminism. We don't need to "fit trans people into feminist theory"; we simply need to challenge cissexism in feminist movements and theories. Trans people do not need to be explained by feminist theory; we need to start from the fact that trans people exist and matter.
And it would be a crime to not mention how hard she fought specifically for women of color, to challenge racism and imperialism (white/western and non-white/non-western) in feminist spaces and in general, as well as her intersex activism, and far more. She had such a drive to contribute to, engage with, and push for more and better feminist discourse.
You will be remembered fondly, Emi Koyama. Thank you for all your work and for all your life.
imo the way you feel about groups it's fully socially acceptable to hate (like children or polyamorous people, among others) is the canary in the coal mine for underlying bigoted beliefs. if you're only supportive of marginalized groups when it's cool to do so, probably you don't actually care about marginalized groups, you care about other people thinking you care
there are 1 trillion people in the notes of this post saying "yeah! i mean i hate kids but they should have rights!" you hate kids? you mean you hate all members of an oppressed group solely for their membership in this group? right. why do you hate them? because they can't take care of themselves and need help? because they don't understand social norms and can be "annoying" and disrespect boundaries as a result? because they can be messy? because they don't understand things in the same way as you do? that's awesome. how do you feel about disabled people btw
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one simply must not underestimate the amount of intense transandrophobia that comes from self-identified TMEs & other trans men. & one must not underestimate the amount of people that would be considered "TMA" and trans women who get treated like shit for calling out anti-transmasculinity.
this is why the problem of anti-transmasculinity in trans spaces is not as simple as "non-transmascs need to stop talking over transmascs on transmasc experiences" because while yes that is true! the real problem is anti-transmasculinity as something we all internalize. our goal should be collective healing through unlearning anti-transmasculinity, so we can treat each other better and be more effective in resisting oppression, not treating different trans groups as warring factions.
(additionally there are people who don't identify as transmasculine who are still affected by anti-transmasculinity, or who otherwise contribute in valuable ways to the discussion on it; "talking over" does not mean "talking at all.")
Because I was now a man, I could not speak about what it was like to be a woman. Because I had been a woman, I could never really speak about what it was like to be a man. Do the math: I could not speak. It was a double erasure, a double bind, in which every experience I had was false, and so nothing I said was credible. I could no longer derive authority from my experiences before transition, and shouldn’t even cite them — I had never “really” been a woman, so those things hadn’t happened — but those experiences could always be weaponized against me to prove I wasn’t “really” the man I claimed to be.
They call it erasure, when this happens. I wasn’t prepared for how literal the term was. Every day, I could feel myself disappear.
— Eraserhead: On writer's block and being a gender traitor by Jude Doyle
There are many good paragraphs but this stuck out the most:
"If “man” and “woman” are opposed and mutually exclusive categories, if men can only ever be predators and women can only ever be prey, then trans men can’t exist. We are logically impossible under the terms of the current system. You either “treat us like men” by voiding out half our lives, or you write us back into womanhood by denying our male identities. I knew all that, at least in theory, but when I came out, I actually saw my life story disappearing into other people’s blind spots. I watched myself become unthinkable in real time."
Also these:
"This wasn’t about accountability. This was people tactically forgetting my entire life,including incidents from my life they had personally witnessed or been involved in, so that they could shame me for transitioning. It was bad for me to be a man; if I was a man, I was a bad man, I was all the worst things men are. I was hulking, I was threatening, I was predatory, I was violent."
"I was treated as both genders, but only the most monstrous stereotype of each one."
Because that is exactly it. Anti-transmasculinity is being both erased and vilified, and then gaslit out of speaking about those experiences by the people who are erasing and vilifying you.
"The idea that I had always occupied a privileged position within patriarchy was, frankly, untrue; nor did it seem to me that a trans person was any less gender-marginalized than your average cis woman. What privilege I had was conditional, and these books were no guide. Men who wanted to “forge a positive masculinity” (and everyone was very clear that I needed one of those) were encouraged to get in touch with their “feminine sides.” Maybe that was healthy for cis guys, but I had been forced to do feminine things, and present in feminine ways, for the entirety of my young life. Whatever liberation I had achieved came from giving myself permission to stop."
As did the ending:
"When I write these days, I try to remind myself that whatever I’m afraid of saying is already true, and denial will not change it. I remind myself that the wrong people benefit from my silence, and will use it to write a version of my life I can’t recognize, or just write me out of the world. There is no established story or role for me; I belong to a category the world is still learning to imagine. I cannot account for the world as other people imagine it. I cannot give you every man’s story, every trans man’s story, every trans person’s story; I don't know them. What I do know is that every new story helps map the territory. All I can do for you, from where I'm standing, is tell you how things are."
the irony that jude kissed ass so hard to talia bhatt (and she, in response, proceeded to invalidate him and dismiss his experiences, all while he continued trying to kiss ass to her as she's directly disrespectful to his face) still never ceases to amaze me, to this day. like he was so close to getting it but the weird pickme-like self-abandoning behavior won out
The categories of men and women being mutually exclusive is oppositional sexism also. Which I thought we all agreed was counter to transfeminism???
unfortunately anon so, so many people have not actually agreed that. a lot of people have never heard the term oppositional sexism & i've even see some people on tumblr throwing it around & saying "transandrobros don't understand oppositional sexism" while engaging in oppositional sexism.
its also crazy because The Transfeminist Manifesto is pretty anti-oppositional sexism as Emi Koyama was capable of appreciating nuance. frankly i knowwww none of these fucking people have read the Manifesto, because Emi wrote an entire section on Male Privilege where she makes the explicit argument that trans women are capable of experiencing male privilege because anyone can, including a cis woman with a traditionally masculine name, and that trans women shouldn't downplay this since it isn't helpful to building solidarity and it allows cis women to argue they don't have cis privilege just because they are women and so the cisness cancels out.
and i fucking KNOW if someone posted that exact argument on here, plenty of the people who consider themselves the defenders of trve transfeminism on here would call it transmisogynistic and tear it apart. like.
idk man. isn't it kind of telling that so many people on here seem to think Julia Serano, a white American woman who while having her own nuanced and important contributions to transfeminism and feminism in general, also has a history of contributing to anti-transmasculine and exorsexist myths, is the founder of transfeminism.
meanwhile, the term transfeminism was first put in print by Patrick Califia, a trans man who wrote prominently as a pro-BDSM lesbian in 1997, and then in 2001 Emi Koyama, an intersex Japanese trans woman who also didn't consider herself to have a gender, critiqued white feminism for tokenizing women of color and ignoring racial analysis, critiqued perisex trans people for viewing gender as a construct but still believing the sex binary, critiqued "reverse essentialism" where trans people "adopt the essentialist notion of gender identity" because "essentializing our gender identity can be just as dangerous as resorting to biological essentialism," who i cannot stress this enough literally wrote this in the section on violence against women:
Trans men also live in the constant fear of discovery as they navigate in a society that persecutes men who step outside of their socially established roles. Crimes against trans men are committed by strangers as well as by close “friends,” and are undoubtedly motivated by a combination of transphobia and misogyny, performed as a punishment for violating gender norms in order to put them back in a "woman's place."
and STILL wrote a postscript saying a fundamental problem she saw with her manifesto was
"Overemphasis on male-to-female trans people at the expense of female-to-male trans people and others who identify as transgender or genderqueer. I take full blame for the fact that this manifesto is heavily focused on issues male-to-female transsexual people face, while neglecting unique struggles that female-to-male trans people and other transgender and genderqueer people face. At the time I wrote this piece, I felt the need to restrict the focus of feminism to “women” because I feared that expanding the focus would permit non-trans men to exploit feminism for their interest, as some so-called men’s rights groups do. While I still feel that this fear is justified, I now realize that privileging transsexual women’s issues at the expense of other trans and genderqueer people was a mistake. [...]
I have thought about writing a new manifesto to address these and other insights I gained since 2000, with the confidence and clarity I have now, but for now I am leaving the task to others. If you write one, please send it to me.
& in 2008:
I wanted to write a feminist theory that counter the argument that transsexual women were so different from all other women that there is no place for transsexual women within feminism (or that feminism has no use for transsexual women). I wanted to provide easy-to-repeat arguments that pro-trans feminists can use to confront blatant bigotry and falsehoods against transsexual women. And to these ends, I think “Manifesto” was successful. But there was something unsettling about the “Manifesto.” In an effort to forge an alliance between transsexual and non-transsexual women, the piece neglected the struggles of transsexual men and other transgender or genderqueer people who do not identify as “women” unless it was convenient to include them. The piece was also weak on intersectional analysis–that is, how anti-trans sentiments and oppressions compound and complicate oppressions other than sexism, including and especially racism and classism. It borrowed from the work of women of color when it was useful–for example, to point out that transsexual women’s unique experiences should not be the basis for their exclusion because to do so would presuppose a singular universal female experience, which is obviously false–without contributing any insights as to how the inclusion of trans sensibility helps to fight racism and other oppressions.
The fact is, I had only been living in my new home town for three months or so when I wrote this piece, and I was not fully in touch with my own discomfort with the white feminism that filled nine out of ten weeks of the Introduction to Women’s Studies, nor did I feel confident enough to challenge the view that feminism is simply about advocating for women and fighting sexism–and nothing more. In short, what I had written was a version of white feminism that was modified just enough to include transsexual women. At the time, I felt that it was the only safe way to write a feminist theory that advanced transsexual women’s place within feminism. I spent next couple of years meeting more people with a common commitment for justice for all, slowly building the self-confidence it takes to “transform silence into language and action,” as Audre famously stated.
(& i think there are good criticisms that can be made of the Manifesto, but that does not change my respect for it because she engaged in self-critique and wanted the work to be open to criticism, to be a beginning and not limit to active transfeminism theory and practice).
like. interesting how a lot of self-proclaimed transfeminists on here are outspokenly explicitly against the beliefs of both of the trans people who helped popularize the term. people have been pointing the problems with this shit out for 2 decades at this point & y'all think its just tumblr discourse.
The Transfeminist Manifesto is not long. the pdf is 15 pages, including the post script and 2008 reflection. you should read it. get a text to speech app and listen to it. it is important. do it in Emi's memory at least!
i do get pushing back on "mean girl nurse" being used in a lazy misogynistic way against a group of workers who are institutionally abused & their feminized labor underpaid.
that being said. can we not erase the fact the entire conversation began with disabled people talking about being medically abused pretty please. & also, iirc the post that first really blew up about "mean girl nurses" never said "ALL nurses are evil bitches who hate everyone and they deserve to be mistreated" it was saying "women who sought power over other people in high school go into careers where they can wield power over other people, same as men, and there are women who go into nursing and present themselves as kind and caring and maternal, who are motivated by a desire to have unquestioned authority over other people's bodies to make themselves feel powerful, again, same as men who do the same things in masculinized careers." & i just find it "interesting" how all that has been reduced down to "all nurses are mean girls")
i think nuance is always important & doctors and nurses do need better treatment and society frequently praises them while also supporting their abuse. and yet they are also universally recognized as vital important members of society & empowered to have immense control over the lives of people who are systemically vulnerable and seen as leeches who add nothing to society. and yet who has to deal with the impacts of their stress and their trauma and their anger and their burnout? the disabled people under their care.
again. Nuance! but i just cannot help but Side Eye In Cripple some things people say on this topic. it can both be true that nurses (& doctors) experience horrible working conditions and that, in my opinion, that any conversation about burnout and abuse of medical professionals needs to also criticize the authoritarianism of the medical field and how widespread medical neglect and abuse is, lest we simply fall back into "the poor beleagured doctor who is Jesus Christ On The Cross Himself, all-wise and all-knowing and forced to tolerate all these entitled know-it-all ungrateful patients!" which changes nothing for anyone.
like. look at this article. the actual context for the "mean girl to nurse pipeline" (that some women seek out power over people to control them and make themselves feel bigger, and women are likely to do this through caretaking in the role of nurse, teacher, mother, etc.) is not brought up at all. the fixation is entirely on "its mean to call nurses mean girls! they experience a lot of bullying! you don't REALLY know any mean nurses, just poor tired bullied ones!"
First, the phrase itself is unfair to women. Although nursing is a female-dominated field, this phrase focuses on women as being the “mean” ones to worry about.
like. do youuuu fucking see the erasure of medical abuse. the actual bullshit nurses do to real living human beings, which goes massively under-reported. & not just disabled people but people of color as well. god fucking forbid medical professionals are treated as anything but literal saints descended from heaven. god forbid white cisgender women are recognized to have the ability to be cruel and power-hungry and to hurt other people through traditionally feminine roles based on caretaking. like I genuinely do understand that nurses are subject to immense stress, bullying, and violence, and that providing better working conditions for nurses is vital to improving medical treatment for all patients.
but when the actual neglect and abuse nurses can do to their patients is ignored and drops out of the conversation entirely, in the name of complaining about nurses being called "mean"? sorry but it pisses me the fuck off.
(links to some sources on patient abuse under the cut since this is long enough as is)
Exclusive: Leaked internal document lays bare concerns of ‘toxic’ issues within watchdog that mean whistleblowers’ warnings are ignored — an
Nurses and midwives accused of serious sexual, physical and racial abuse are being allowed to keep working on wards because whistleblowers are being ignored, a damning new report has found.
Staff are too scared to report their concerns to the nursing regulator because of a “culture of fear” within the watchdog, documents seen by The Independent reveal.
One whistleblower, speaking to this publication, drew parallels with the Lucy Letby case, accusing the Nursing and Midwifery Council (NMC) of being defensive and trying to protect their own reputation.
They claim “deep-seated toxic conduct” within the NMC is leading to skewed and failed investigations.
A review of NMC guidelines was launched after The Independent highlighted concerns earlier this year by speaking to staff who complained that the NMC was leaving nurses accused of sexual assault and domestic violence free to work unchecked.
Incivility is one of the most prevalent forms of interpersonal mistreatment. Although studies have examined the full range of experiences of
Incivility is one of the most prevalent forms of interpersonal mistreatment. Although studies have examined the full range of experiences of incivility against nurses and other hospital personnel, very few studies examined the forms of incivility that patients face in a hospital. [...]
Participants most frequently reported experiencing insensitivity (38%) or affectively negative interactions. A majority explicitly used the word “rude” to describe their interaction. [...]
When the Doctor was a smart mouth and came in and said “congratulations you have a period” it ended up being a very serious infection. [Participant 290, 27 years old, Biracial, Woman].
Participant 290’s experience demonstrates some of the potential consequences of rudeness. In this case, the doctor was not only insensitive but gave an incorrect diagnosis. In addition, participants frequently indicated how insensitivity was also communicated through a “rough” touch when the doctor was examining them. The consensus was that insensitivity—verbal and physical forms—only made the participants feel worse when they are already in the hospital not feeling well.
Participants (15%) indicated experiencing rudeness because of their identities. Many individuals explained how their socioeconomic status (SES)—specifically lack of health insurance—was a significant factor in shaping the treatment they received:
I had a first time grand mal seizure and wrecked my vehicle. I do not have insurance, so the hospital I was taken to was so rude. I was brought in by an ambulance, they wouldn’t give me anything for the severe headache from the wreck and also from the seizure. They wouldn’t give me anything to keep me from throwing up. The only thing they did was give me an IV of Keppra to stop the seizures. After finding out I didn’t have insurance, they discharged me within 10 minutes. They took me to the bathroom to change clothes, they met me at the bathroom door, handed me my papers and pointed me to the door. I didn’t even get wheeled out after having a seizure and a wreck…[Participant 272: 28 years old, White, Woman]. [...]
…[I] was told in plain terms that those who don’t pay for their [insurance] have no right to complain about not receiving the best treatment [Participant 47: 34 years old, Latina/Hispanic, Woman]. [...]
Participants (26%) indicated what we categorized as containing elements similar to “gaslighting” or mistreatment in which participants’ experiences were minimized, doubted, questioned, second guessed, or denied by health-care professionals. [...]
…I was told I was lying about being sick. I was told that I had lost 45 pounds in 2 months because of a mild cold, and that I was wasting their time. They tried to make me feel like I was a burden, and I was taking away from other patients who they implied were sick. Turns out I was sick, and I needed surgery. Going to a hospital out of town, they diagnosed my problem within 1 visit. [Participant 275: 34 years old, White Man]
Patients adjust their behaviour based on what they experience in care relationships with nurses or the hospital care. It is crucial that pat
Most research on aggression in health care relates to staff experiences about patient aggression. Research on patients’ perceptions of aggressive and transgressive behaviour in care relationships with nurses is limited. [...]
When it comes to competent care, some patients told stories of how expertise of care providers was questioned. One patient described a nurse provided pain-relieving medication while he is allergic to that product. In response, the patient’s daughter attached a list to her father’s bed listing products he is allergic to. Despite this list, every time her father asked for pain relief, that same product he is allergic to was brought to him. Another patient described a nurse accompanied him for an examination. He asked where she was taking him to and when she said it was to Nuclear Magnetic Resonance, he said he was not allowed to because of his pacemaker. He indicated the nurse had not gone through his medical file and was putting him in danger [...]
Patients told stories of being ignored by nurses or not treated as human beings. One woman described the nurse criticized her for not having to have worked a day in her life because of her long-term illness. Another man described dinner was put in front of him without a single word, no ‘good afternoon’ or ‘enjoy’. Patients also provided examples of a lack of gen- uine involvement of nurses in the nurse–patient contact. Various patients mentioned they felt like a number:
. . .One thing that is very annoying is when two nurses are caring for you and they are conversing with each other over your head. That’s so annoying, you really feel like just a number. . .
Furthermore, various patients indicated nurses are more concerned about the way care is organized than they are about the patient’s request. Patients mentioned nurses stick to their routine and are reluctant to deviate from it. One nurse distributes medication while another checks parameters of all patients. Patients describe they cannot approach the nurse about matters that are not part of his/her task at that moment [...]
Various patients gave examples of situations where they were not acknowledged or heard with regard to their own appraisal or expertise concerning their illness and health. Patients stated they themselves felt what they could or could not do, but nurses kept emphasizing and imposing things, according to guidelines and protocols, they should be able to do at a certain point in time. Several patients felt they were not heard:
. . .I had two surgeries on my back. So the first day after the surgery, they said, ‘roll to the side and sit up’, of course that’s difficult. On the second day, they demand you get out of bed. But I felt worse, I couldn’t get out. And they didn’t believe me, the nurse didn’t believe it. ‘You’ve had surgery and according to the textbook, you should be able to get out of bed on the second day’. On the third day, they made a new scan and saw that those nerves had not been unblocked and on the fourth day I had another surgery. So they don’t listen, because that’s not possible, according to the ‘textbook’ you should be able to do this. . . [...]
When patients realize it is not self-evident to receive adequate care or do not feel in competent hands, they become more observant and vigilant. Patients describe they observe nurses carefully, check their medication and ask which examinations they are having and why. The care they receive is more outspokenly questioned:
. . .They came to collect me for my hip. Ah, you’ve got a scanner appointment. She says: ‘it’s an MR scan’. I say: ‘an MR scan? I can’t do that because I’ve got a pacemaker.’ And she says ‘And now you tell me?’ ‘Listen here, missy, you walk in here and tell me to come.’ You’d be in there if you wouldn’t have said something, wouldn’t you! The battery can generate voltage which could burn your heart, destroying your pacemaker. If you’re not paying attention, you’re done for. You constantly have to be on your guard. . .
You literally cannot find any information on abuse or racism perpetrated by nurses by searching up pretty basic terms, because the results are entirely full of abuse done to nurses. Which is important, but my god.
#reminds me of how the pitt has several scenes i remember being like.#whyyyy are we making so many jokes about drug addicts and mentally ill people and their distress guys 😀#like that one fucking scene of the one doctor berating a drug user for no goddamn reason but it portrays her as#righteous because He Lied For Drugs (literally no way for him to be honest with you)#lying to HIM about giving him a drug that CAN MAKE YOU GO INTO WITHDRAWAL IF YOU TAKE ANY OTHER OPIATES WITH IT (suboxone i think)#WITHOUT TELLING HIM!!!!!!!!!! MASSIVE massive violation of patient autonomy and SAFETY. since she LIED about what drug it was#and the man HIMSELF clearly wanted opiates so he wouldnt be in withdrawal for his daughters wedding#and then she. berates him? for not caring about his daughter???????#and no one seems to be annoyed at this scene but me a fucking pparently#because it was the sweet nice doctor and its her fucking character development to be cruel towards a drug user for doing literally nothing#except trying to seek the care he needed to live his life in the way he knew how#and ofc they presented it as ''well maybe when hes ready he'll get clean now that you were a jerk to him :)''#she shouldve been fucking berated for that. they shouldve had a whole scene telling her how big of a fuckup that was#but nooooo its her cute little character development moment#idc get that poor man some methadone and TELL HIM HOW IT WORKS
Working Guys is a collection of stories by transmasculine sex workers that take readers through different moments in their lives. The sto
Working Guys is a collection of stories by transmasculine sex workers that take readers through different moments in their lives.
The stories intersect between a few central themes, such as perceptions, media representation, and violence inflicted on trans sex workers. These nudge us to look at support systems and systematic changes required to address vulnerability, outlining the grey area between empowerment and vulnerabilities transmasculine sex workers face.
How far can one conform to expected ideas of gender before it becomes harmful?
“He told me that he struggled to see me as a man because I sell sex … and I found it hard to see the version of myself that I hid behind for work as anything other than a woman too. What he said to me had spread the sickness and I felt unsure in my identity.
I pretended to be a woman for work, so people saw me as one outside of it too.” -- "Only women sell sex" by Liam
In the anthology, several contributors recount the bittersweet irony of adopting female persons to cater to the demands of the market. This performance, often described as “cis for pay”, often binds trans sex workers to conform to different gendered expectations. When transmascs fail to meet the binary societal expectations of how a ‘man’ should look or behave, they are faced with violence of all types and degrees.
Sex workers capitalising aspects of oneself that can be eroticised is a form of powerful personal reclamation. On the flip side however, it leans into or even perpetuates harmful stereotypes that eroticise certain traits, further resulting in discrimination and violence.
Why are sex workers’ choices about their own bodies often subjected to the opinions of others?
“If you’re selling your body, isn’t it prudent to keep everything intact? Surely you’d lose customers if you had this surgery.” -- "An Appointment at Charing Cross" by Mx Dagger
In stories shared, several contributors to the anthology mention experiences where they were “hammered on details, including the type of sex work that were done” during requests for medical references for gender affirming surgery. These experiences highlight a higher barrier for trans people when it comes to obtaining medical support for their gender affirming procedures, which can have harmful consequences since many may choose to omit information when dealing with medical professions to avoid stigmatisation. This is in addition to the astronomical cost of medical transition that pushes many trans people into higher-risk work environments. These narratives challenge us to acknowledge that the fight for accessible transition care is inseparable from the broader struggle against economic and social marginalisation.
The invisibility of transmasculine sex workers.
Unlike their transfeminine counterparts—who, despite facing greater physical risks, benefit from more robust community networks—transmascs often find themselves isolated, struggling to advertise and represent themselves in spaces where few have a mental concept of what it means to be transmasculine.
Highlighting the lived experiences of transmasculine sex workers is crucial when addressing the concerns of the sex worker community as a whole. However, over reliance on an individual’s experience in the sex industry might undermine other experiences faced by different sex workers. Hence it is important to continually highlight the diversity of the community.
Joey, our ex-intern, penned down some of her thoughts while she was reading the book as a sex worker herself:
“The truth is I often feel deeply ambivalent about my work – I’m torn between the desire to defend it (because I enjoy it) and the desire to critique it (because it’s work, and I would prefer not to need to work, or at least to be able to do so in better conditions).
I never lie about my work, but I find it difficult to convey my thoughts effectively, while avoiding narratives that speak in absolutes: sex work being wholly degrading and exploitative, or sex work being entirely unproblematic and enjoyable. For me it’s somewhere in the middle—often a little of both.”
Conclusion
Working Guys challenge traditional views and push for different forms of empowerment, shaping a more holistic view of what transgender people experience. While doing so, Jack Parker uses the book as a platform to voice transmasculine perspectives and resilience in the face of adversity and challenges.
A recurring theme, empowerment within the transmasculine community was highlighted in various ways – as allies and sex workers. This is rooted in the belief that individuals should make decisions based on what aligns with their beliefs, rather than conforming to external factors. By reading this, hopefully it gives us the strength – like what Parker is doing – to advocate for and empower transmasculine sex workers.
You can get Working Guys as a PDF here, or as a paperback here.
You can also read a little about the history of transmasculinity and sex work here.
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everyone needs to love transfems who aren't women more. everyone needs to love transfems who are men more. everyone needs to love nonbinary people seen as male who aren't transfeminine more. everyone needs to love trans women who are gay men / attracted to men in a gay way more.
especially when they are fat. especially when they are Black or Native or Asian or any racial/ethnic group that isn't white. especially when they are tall and broad and have a deep voice and a beard, and especially when they like themselves that way and still are hurt by misgendering. especially when they have gone on E and T blockers and have gotten facial feminization and vaginoplasty and have DD tits and like themselves that way and still are hurt by misgendering (even when people think they should be grateful for it, even when it feels like the lesser of two evils). especially when they transition in ways people see as "only halfway" and dress androgynous and use contradictory labels and call themselves femboys in the same breathe they do tgirls and they like themselves clockable as fuck and still are hurt by transphobia and exorsexism.
do you have any idea how many beautiful wonderful nonbinary/genderqueer/gender nonconforming people this world is missing out on because the only options people let them have are "binary trans woman" or "fully cis man"? like how many times have I seen people acting like one's options are "gay man OR trans woman" or that its "femboys (who have NO idea what its like to be trans) vs trans girls (who NEVER identify as femboys)" with zero room made for anyone whose identity even slightly complicates these binaries. what do you do for the transfems and the nonbinary people assigned male at birth who you CAN'T "support" through gender essentialism and benevolent misogyny. do you ever feel the void where your NB/GQ/GNC neighbors should be?
I’m not sure I agree with this take. I think the sentiment that we should support GNC transfems is right, but the phrase “trans women who are gay men” gives me pause, and I think it shows a framework that I don’t agree with either.
Gender is constructed, yes, but there are some things that are indeed mutually exclusive. From a class perspective, a trans woman cannot be a gay man. Man and woman are, at the same time, totally-constructed, mutually exclusive categories AND (!) material realities that exist. The class conditions of men and women are different, because women face structural misogyny, and men do not. People split the lines of these two classes all the time, but this doesn’t mean these two, specific, mutually exclusice classes don’t exist.
While the classes of woman and man as well as their class interests (the destruction or the continuation of misogyny, respectively) are real, the concepts themselves of man and woman don’t map neatly onto reality, and this absurd imposition of fiction onto reality creates massive suffering, as does the real class structure this fiction supports. Just as there’s no innate, permanent, immutable, and solid difference between a capitalist and a worker, there’s no such difference between men and women. This is the ground reality below the infrastructure, below the structure, and below the superstructures of society. Those structures also have no innate, permanent, immutable, or solid existence. But the experiences that people have from them are just as real as anything else. These structures and categories are constantly shaped and reshaped by the actions of society. People move between the gender classes all the time. Pointing out the absurd difference between how people are treated as classes by saying oxymoronic identities like “gay man who is a trans woman” can help reduce their power, trying to get rid of class labels altogether won’t undo the conflicts between classes. It just makes it harder to see what’s going on while those class conflicts happen out of sight if nobody can talk about it.
I am one of the women you were talking about in this post, the fat trans woman who has facial hair, and a trans woman who tried being a gay boy. I seriously identified as a girlfag for years. I stopped, though, when I saw that I lost access to my gay male life completely once I transitioned past a certain point. The moment that I was seen as a woman, trans or cis, by gay men, I was an outsider to them. Sometimes there are gay men who see me as a man. They are a little more warm to me, but only when they can fuck me. Which I don’t like doing bc they think i’m a dude and it feels terrible for me ewwwwww.
But can you see where I’m coming from? I’m just one girl, but I think that adopting the framework of real class interests/constructed gender could contribute to the liberation of women and therefore the complete freedom to move between categories. Also, I think this is important enough to write a response to a stranger because this very conversation could change how some trans women are treated. The treatment we got as “gay men who identify as women” was something we fought to change, and I don’t want to see that clock turned back.
I’m not sure what your gender politics are exactly (i’ll confess that I don’t follow you) but I hope you can forgive any rudeness on my part. I just wanted to add my perspective on the topic.
Using class analysis to decide how people are allowed to personally identify will never be good for trans people. That there are trans women who identify as women and also identify as gay men, or feel their attraction to men is gay, is simply a fact. These women exist. Whether you personally feel they are allowed to use that language to describe themselves is as irrelevant as a cis woman thinking a trans woman isn't allowed to describe herself as a woman because she sees herself as a "materialist feminist."
I just fundamentally disagree on pretty much every level that how people should identify needs to be exclusively grounded in their material class position (as decided by The Council, I suppose, because clearly they have no say in the matter). Again, I see no real difference between what you have said here and the well-formed, earnest, rational arguments made by many transphobic feminists as to why they may sympathize with trans women but fundamentally disagree on a materialist basis that they should be allowed to call themselves women given the perceived danger of making it harder to discuss the class differences between females and males. Its the exact same line of thinking.
I am sorry you had those experiences while identifying that way. You are correct that you are one girl, and your experiences and feelings are one individual's experiences and feelings, and what you have said is not all that convincing to me. You seem to be engaging with the idea of "a trans woman who is a gay man" on a largely theoretical, ideological basis, which is, again, always bad for all trans people. Using your personal experiences and feelings as proof to back up your theorization does not make it more grounded in the material reality of many people, including people who identify as trans women and gay men and do not feel the way you feel and do not interpret their experiences with transphobia & othering in gay men's spaces the way you do.
Men do face structural misogyny. Trans men exist. And trans women who also identify as men exist. I myself am multigender and am both a man and a woman, although given what you've written here, I can only imagine you feel that identity is impossible or harmful in some way because it is not binary and "materialist" enough in your eyes. But frankly, there is no way to be anything other than hostile to nonbinary people given the very limited version of trans materialism you've described here. Clinging so hard to the gender binary & basing your materialist analysis, not on many people's material experiences but on theoreticals and your personal feelings and experience, is harmful to other trans people.
If you are curious, my pinned post has a lot of links regarding the kind of transfeminism I engage with, although much of that is focused on anti-transmasculinity. To quote Emi Koyama, author of the Transfeminist Manifesto:
Cis feminists do not own feminism. We don't need to "fit trans people into feminist theory"; we simply need to challenge cissexism in feminist movements and theories. Trans people do not need to be explained by feminist theory; we need to start from the fact that trans people exist and matter.
"Men and women are materially opposites and this is always true and identities that blur the lines between men and women are harmful on a materialist level" is what I would consider trying to fit trans people into (cis)feminism and trying to explain our existence through cissexist means, instead of challenging cissexism.
everyone needs to love transfems who aren't women more. everyone needs to love transfems who are men more. everyone needs to love nonbinary people seen as male who aren't transfeminine more. everyone needs to love trans women who are gay men / attracted to men in a gay way more.
especially when they are fat. especially when they are Black or Native or Asian or any racial/ethnic group that isn't white. especially when they are tall and broad and have a deep voice and a beard, and especially when they like themselves that way and still are hurt by misgendering. especially when they have gone on E and T blockers and have gotten facial feminization and vaginoplasty and have DD tits and like themselves that way and still are hurt by misgendering (even when people think they should be grateful for it, even when it feels like the lesser of two evils). especially when they transition in ways people see as "only halfway" and dress androgynous and use contradictory labels and call themselves femboys in the same breathe they do tgirls and they like themselves clockable as fuck and still are hurt by transphobia and exorsexism.
do you have any idea how many beautiful wonderful nonbinary/genderqueer/gender nonconforming people this world is missing out on because the only options people let them have are "binary trans woman" or "fully cis man"? like how many times have I seen people acting like one's options are "gay man OR trans woman" or that its "femboys (who have NO idea what its like to be trans) vs trans girls (who NEVER identify as femboys)" with zero room made for anyone whose identity even slightly complicates these binaries. what do you do for the transfems and the nonbinary people assigned male at birth who you CAN'T "support" through gender essentialism and benevolent misogyny. do you ever feel the void where your NB/GQ/GNC neighbors should be?
I’m not sure I agree with this take. I think the sentiment that we should support GNC transfems is right, but the phrase “trans women who are gay men” gives me pause, and I think it shows a framework that I don’t agree with either.
Gender is constructed, yes, but there are some things that are indeed mutually exclusive. From a class perspective, a trans woman cannot be a gay man. Man and woman are, at the same time, totally-constructed, mutually exclusive categories AND (!) material realities that exist. The class conditions of men and women are different, because women face structural misogyny, and men do not. People split the lines of these two classes all the time, but this doesn’t mean these two, specific, mutually exclusice classes don’t exist.
While the classes of woman and man as well as their class interests (the destruction or the continuation of misogyny, respectively) are real, the concepts themselves of man and woman don’t map neatly onto reality, and this absurd imposition of fiction onto reality creates massive suffering, as does the real class structure this fiction supports. Just as there’s no innate, permanent, immutable, and solid difference between a capitalist and a worker, there’s no such difference between men and women. This is the ground reality below the infrastructure, below the structure, and below the superstructures of society. Those structures also have no innate, permanent, immutable, or solid existence. But the experiences that people have from them are just as real as anything else. These structures and categories are constantly shaped and reshaped by the actions of society. People move between the gender classes all the time. Pointing out the absurd difference between how people are treated as classes by saying oxymoronic identities like “gay man who is a trans woman” can help reduce their power, trying to get rid of class labels altogether won’t undo the conflicts between classes. It just makes it harder to see what’s going on while those class conflicts happen out of sight if nobody can talk about it.
I am one of the women you were talking about in this post, the fat trans woman who has facial hair, and a trans woman who tried being a gay boy. I seriously identified as a girlfag for years. I stopped, though, when I saw that I lost access to my gay male life completely once I transitioned past a certain point. The moment that I was seen as a woman, trans or cis, by gay men, I was an outsider to them. Sometimes there are gay men who see me as a man. They are a little more warm to me, but only when they can fuck me. Which I don’t like doing bc they think i’m a dude and it feels terrible for me ewwwwww.
But can you see where I’m coming from? I’m just one girl, but I think that adopting the framework of real class interests/constructed gender could contribute to the liberation of women and therefore the complete freedom to move between categories. Also, I think this is important enough to write a response to a stranger because this very conversation could change how some trans women are treated. The treatment we got as “gay men who identify as women” was something we fought to change, and I don’t want to see that clock turned back.
I’m not sure what your gender politics are exactly (i’ll confess that I don’t follow you) but I hope you can forgive any rudeness on my part. I just wanted to add my perspective on the topic.
Using class analysis to decide how people are allowed to personally identify will never be good for trans people. That there are trans women who identify as women and also identify as gay men, or feel their attraction to men is gay, is simply a fact. These women exist. Whether you personally feel they are allowed to use that language to describe themselves is as irrelevant as a cis woman thinking a trans woman isn't allowed to describe herself as a woman because she sees herself as a "materialist feminist."
I just fundamentally disagree on pretty much every level that how people should identify needs to be exclusively grounded in their material class position (as decided by The Council, I suppose, because clearly they have no say in the matter). Again, I see no real difference between what you have said here and the well-formed, earnest, rational arguments made by many transphobic feminists as to why they may sympathize with trans women but fundamentally disagree on a materialist basis that they should be allowed to call themselves women given the perceived danger of making it harder to discuss the class differences between females and males. Its the exact same line of thinking.
I am sorry you had those experiences while identifying that way. You are correct that you are one girl, and your experiences and feelings are one individual's experiences and feelings, and what you have said is not all that convincing to me. You seem to be engaging with the idea of "a trans woman who is a gay man" on a largely theoretical, ideological basis, which is, again, always bad for all trans people. Using your personal experiences and feelings as proof to back up your theorization does not make it more grounded in the material reality of many people, including people who identify as trans women and gay men and do not feel the way you feel and do not interpret their experiences with transphobia & othering in gay men's spaces the way you do.
Men do face structural misogyny. Trans men exist. And trans women who also identify as men exist. I myself am multigender and am both a man and a woman, although given what you've written here, I can only imagine you feel that identity is impossible or harmful in some way because it is not binary and "materialist" enough in your eyes. But frankly, there is no way to be anything other than hostile to nonbinary people given the very limited version of trans materialism you've described here. Clinging so hard to the gender binary & basing your materialist analysis, not on many people's material experiences but on theoreticals and your personal feelings and experience, is harmful to other trans people.
If you are curious, my pinned post has a lot of links regarding the kind of transfeminism I engage with, although much of that is focused on anti-transmasculinity. To quote Emi Koyama, author of the Transfeminist Manifesto:
Cis feminists do not own feminism. We don't need to "fit trans people into feminist theory"; we simply need to challenge cissexism in feminist movements and theories. Trans people do not need to be explained by feminist theory; we need to start from the fact that trans people exist and matter.
"Men and women are materially opposites and this is always true and identities that blur the lines between men and women are harmful on a materialist level" is what I would consider trying to fit trans people into (cis)feminism and trying to explain our existence through cissexist means, instead of challenging cissexism.
it is so vile to me that whenever I like a post criticizing transmisogyny tumblr immediately assumes i want to see posts degrading trans men. it’s so transmisogynistic to think that anyone who supports trans women hates trans men. genuinely distressing.
May I present: Leda and the Swan Princess! It's based on this post about a swan princess who refuses to go quietly in obscurity when cursed. (If you liked this one you will probably also like my other comics which you can find on my pinned post).
If you enjoyed and want to support a queer art student, you can tip me over on my Ko-fi! Tips help me out dramatically while I'm still in school!
Something I feel is not brought up often enough in the discussion of land back and the indigenous genocide of the United States in white spaces especially is that they were running over entire sovereign states. The Cherokee were themselves an industrializing nation that was more literate than the United States itself before Andrew Jackson enacted his genocide, the Haudenosaunee were a state propped up by the west for a long time before they decided them to not be useful anymore, the Lakota were legally recognized as a sovereign nation by the United States government before they tore them down. Reservations today are still technically "sovereign" nations even if you never see them on the map and they're about as sovereign as the West Bank, they still don't get to govern themselves or return to their lands.
Even if they weren't organized as such the settlers still would continue their genocidal campaign, but it also further shows that at its core the United States, and the west as a whole, does not care about the sovereignty of *any nation* that isn't white, no matter their organization or level of wealth or literacy, or even if the United States Constitution was directly ripped from their own.
Idk maybe this isnt news for active indigenous activists but these were real nations with real boundaries that should be allowed to exist as real sovereign nations instead of as dependencies of the evil empire.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming