Born a Girl

i have this unnerving fear that i’m gonna meet keanu reeves in some tight elevator and his eyes are going to burn into my soul as he tells me the secrets of this universe then bites me on the neck to give me immortality so he’s not alone anymore

Keanu if you’re listening I’m not a little bitch like OP come get a taste

I JUST GOT THIS ON MY TABLET IT’S SO COOL OH MY GOD

paintfont.com would be a good place to go to quickly make a custom font for your comic!

I’ll try this later.

Welp. Looks like I have to do this now. So I can use this for Tengri’s asks.

NEAT THING ALERT

The site is now called https://www.calligraphr.com/en/ but it’s basically the same!

Trying this later

when will the clown sightings happen again that was fun

look in the mirror and they can start today

*tastes potion like a chef testing the soup* hm. needs more eye of newt.

this is hilarious + its even funnier if u kno that eye of newt is probably mustard seed

so who else was today years old when they learned that “eye of newt” is mustard seed and not the literal eye of a newt or am i just dumb

no wonder my potions never work the way they should

neither of these poeple are sayuing anything

Banjo kazooie

Scotland

How does anyone hate kids they are so funny I sold tickets to incredibles to this little girl and her mom and she’s like mom are we sitting next to each other and the moms like ya and the kid screamed YES so loud it broke my ears

The other day I was bringing an older gentleman up the hill in a golf cart and we drove past this huge YMCA group of kids like 100 kids and driving past the first chunk like 10 of them yelled out “let me on” in unison and then since I’m driving so slowly to be safe, halfway in some kid leaned up and said “do you play fortnite” and I told him I played a little and he just pointed and shouted “THIS GUY PLAYS FORTNITE” and then like 20 kids started talking to me all at once about fortnite

A kid asked me if I lived in the ambulance. I said yes.

The hero we deserve

When I was on register at Kohl’s a little girl came through with her grandma and she was so very excited to tell me the meaning of her name (I think it was like warrior of god) and she begged her grandma for her phone so she could google to find out what my name means too

i wear two spinner rings on one finger and one time at my last job a young girl (probably 6-8) said “your ring is very pretty” and when i showed her it was two rings she GASPED and said “does that mean you’re marrying two people?!”

I have this necklace with a mermaid on it that I wear to work a lot and I got asked by a kid if it gave me magic powers. I leaned in real close and told her in a low voice it gave me magical girl powers but it was a secret. She got this real serious look on her face and said to her mom “that lady has superpowers, don’t tell anyone or the government will take her away”.

The other day i had to give a speech at my school despite my horrific fear of public speaking and afterwards i had kid come up to me and say well done to me. It was so cute.

god I love tiny kids

there was a kid in one of our science camps and he spent the whole week in a lab coat and goggles screaming “CHEMICALS” at the top of his lungs. he wouldn’t even tell us his name for the first two days just screamed CHEMICALS instead.

I was watching these kids at church today and one of them screamed and threw a toy car into the wall and it broke and the other one looked over calmly and said “does your insurance cover that?”

I was taking the drink order for a family at work and I asked their kid what he wanted to drink and he just looked at me with a completely deadpan expression and said “vodka” and me and the parents just fucking lost it

kid I used to babysit asked why my lips were different (she was two), and when I told her that it was because I was wearing lipstick, she yelled, “MAYA, I WANT LIPITZ.”

I work in a school and every time I draw anything on the board (I am a terrible artist and usually resort to stick men), the kids will all go ‘I love your picture, that’s a great drawing Miss’. So blindly supportive.

One time my younger brother ordered a “non-alcoholic fanta” at a hotel bar and the bartender lost his shit and I was never the same man

When I was student teaching, I was taking my fourth graders back from lunch and noticed one little girl looking longingly at the playground, where the younger kids were having recess. She heaved a big sigh and said, “I used to be that free.”

My baby brother went to a pub with my mom when he was like 9 and because it was a ‘grown up event’ he wore this little Tweed suit and when the bartender offered to get my mom a drink he glanced over at my brother and said sort of jokingly “Sorry, not for kids” and without missing a beat my bro pulls this offended look and goes “I’m a little person” and the poor man had to do a double-take

Always need good news stories

Just some positivity, because we could all use some more of this in our lives.

a godess in our midst 

Wow wow wow