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@sabrinabean713
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We just having fun here!
Misgendering gets you blocked
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Mentally ill ✌🏻
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Making Scott Hunter and Shane Hollander fight was a hysterical choice. Amazing. No notes. The two goodest boys of hockey. I'm sure Ilya had this dream once.
i know shane was probably a montreal fan growing up, because yuna was a fan. but when he gets drafted by them in ep one, he says they're his mom's favorite team specifically, not his. And shane grew up in Ottawa, so he definitely went to centaurs games as a kid. And baby shane hollander definitely had arguments at recess in elementary school debating the centaurs playoff chances. he had the jerseys, he had the posters and fun merch, he probably watched all the games. baby shane hollander was a centaurs fan.
what i'm getting at is, obviously ilya went to ottawa to be closer to shane, and to be in canada and get citizenship. the plan made sense. but also. also. it was shane's idea. and shane hollander literally sent his favorite hockey player, one of the best players in the league, to probably his favorite team as a child to make them good again. and it worked.
The moment Ilya fell hard for Shane, per Rachel Reid.
The Cens get knocked out of the playoffs during the semifinals, and Shane is really annoyed with himself, so to get him out of his head about it, Ilya tells him that he's not allowed to watch the final with him, since it's pissing him off so much. No, Shane's going to be facing away from the TV with the sound off, riding Ilya's cock for all 90+ minutes. If he does a good enough job, Ilya might put up the volume a little bit. As a reward. But Shane's not allowed to turn around to look or the volume goes back down. And if he cums before the end of the game, the TV gets turned off completely and they go to bed right away, and Shane can only know who won the next day. They decide this is almost as good as playing in the finals.
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ilya is having sex with shane in all of his sports cars to decide which one he’s gonna take with him to ottawa cus the car where shane hits his strongest orgasm will be the winner. when it finally happens, shane is totally worn out, panting hard with his head against the glove box and ilya is kissing his back while caressing along his stomach and sometimes grabbing his chest and he goes “so this is the winner, yes?” and they both let out a breathless laugh and ilya pulls shane so that his back is against ilya’s chest and he asks “wanna go again?” and shane just shakes his head and ilya goes “no? did i wear out my baby?” and shane nods and ilya kiss behind shane’s ear and gently pats his head and goes “let’s go back inside then im gonna shower you and tuck you into bed and kiss you goodnight” and shane just nods again, completely spent and ilya lifts him up just enough to finally pull out and they both groan at the sensitivity and then ilya gets out of the car and lift shane up in bridal style to carry him back inside, ready to shower him and put him to bed
Yuna: Congratulations. The two of you have just won gold and silver in the Moron Olympics.
Shane:
Ilya:
Shane: Who won gold?
Why am I finding out just today that Salvador Dali designed the Chupa Chups logo
????
Hey. What
"relax. sucking does not kill" would make for a fun shirt
I'm sorry chupa chups I didn't know your game
I love them even more now. (Most if not all of their lollipops don’t have the dye I’m allergic to.)
@ominous-signs
Official ominous sign
We need to bring this back full swing so bad
Let’s keep it going
how many tons of cement would we need to fill in Silicon Valley, hypothetically speaking
enough that if you poured it all at once, the exothermic curing reaction would also succeed in melting it
so we do it very slowly then
no, you misunderstand, that’s the point. if we pour it quickly, the core of the concrete mass will become molten, along with everything trapped within. we won’t just be burying silicon valley. we’ll be melting it. we will erase it from history, so no foolish future civilization will ever have to face the grim possibility of accidentally unearthing it.
tens of thousands of years from now, when the molten core of concrete, metal, glass, and horrible tech industry culture solidifies into an unrecognizable mass, we will be able to safely mine it to reclaim the metals, which will have conveniently sorted themselves by density.
we need visionaries like yourself in public office
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Ilya wants to do one of these "celebraties I don't think my husband can name" videos where he shows different singers to Shane because he thinks it's just too adorable how Shane has no clue about the music industry at all, only for the video to go like this:
- Oh that's Gaga. You know Lady Gaga? Of course, Ilya! She was in A star is born. Really good actress. She is more of a singer actually... Oh yeah that makes sense, I guess. You guess?! Please tell me you know Poker Face, lyubimyy. I know for a fact you have been to a club, you must have heard Poker Face before. I don't know, maybe. [Ilya starts singing Poker Face]. You're lucky you play better hockey than you sing, baby. Oi!!
- Oh I know how him! That's Armando! That's Pitbull. I'm pretty sure that's a human? Are you fucking with me Shanya. Of course baby. I know that he is a rapper but it feels so weird to call him Pitbull, when we met in Miami he said he was Armando. You met in Miami?? Yeah well, was a few years ago, he invited our team to this house- Pitbull invited the Montreal boring fucking Metros to his fucking house???
- Kesha! Do you know her songs? Absolutely none, no. How the fuck- Why am I even suprised you know her too. Oh we met at Roses birthday party in LA. She is so funny, I think you would like her! Maybe I should introduce you. What the fuck- You know what, I call her. Shane!
- Oh that's Kayleigh right? Kayleigh. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's her. That's Chappell Roan. Dykstra is playing her non-stop in the lockerroom. Oh, really? Pink Pony Club? Good Luck, Babe? Casual? Sounds familiar yes. [Ilya starts singing Casual] [Shane blushes] I think... I think I remember now yeah. Didn't know that was Kayleigh. How do you know all these people but have no clue what they do? Oh funny story, she is a good friend of Rose actually-
- Oh, that's Sam! Sam Smith. I've been to a concert. Met backstage. Really cool person. Shanya, you're surprising me? You go to concerts? Well uhm. When... when I was with Rose she got us tickets and - Yeah okey.
- Montero! Or Lil Nas X. Shall I guess: Another friend of Rose? Maybe, I should ask her. Actually we did this campaign together and- I hate you.
- Oh thats the actress from the movie. The movie with all the actresses. Oceans Eight. That's Rihanna. Yeah! Rihanna. I really liked her there, she should do more movies. Shane, she is actually a singer. Oh, that's cool. You're killing me. What? Should I know her? Shane. Lyubimyy. We literally had our first dance to her song.
- That's Benito! Nice guy. You know Bad Bunny? Who is a bad bunny? That is Bad Bunny. Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio. Okay yeah? He is literally the biggest singer in the world. Is he now? Yes! Oh, wow he didn't mention. Wait, you met Bad Bunny? Yeah, well we were at some galas together, but to be fair he said- Galas? Like how many? Dunno, like four, five times and- Ilya is your nose bleeding?
I don't know if you still accept ideas/requests, but could you draw Shane in lingerie, please? 🙏❤️
This is a bit late and really messy but I promise there’s a smidge of lingerie in the full art I swear
Full art—> HERE
CNC combined with forced intox is so dear to me. Shane who is a prisoner of his own brain tells Ilya and Luca he wants to get dragged out of his thoughts but without the knowledge of it happening, without the nagging thoughts in the back of his head what could go wrong if he drinks too much.
Ilya promises him to think about it and then... does nothing. For weeks Shane is hyper aware of his surroundings until he eventually starts to forget about it. Ilya said he would think about it but never confirmed and obviously he forgot.
That's when Ilya strikes. At one party with the Cens he exclusively orders cocktails for Shane and let the bartender mix in more alcohol.
When Shane realises after his third cocktail that's he's tipsy, it's already too late and the beginning panic is easily drowned when Ilya kisses him with a mouth full of vodka.
Another shot kiss and 10 minutes later Shane is full ass drunk. Ilya types a message for Luca and gets Shane home with a cab. At home Luca hands Shane a glass of clear liquid. It takes Shane two gulps to notice it's not water. As he wants to put the glass down, Ilya takes over and makes him empty it. 5 minutes later Shane is wasted, unable to form full sentences and the words that leave his mouth are slurred up to incomprehensible gibberish.
It takes both, Luca and Ilya to get Shane to the bedroom and to undress him, his limbs all heavy and his cock already hard. The lay him down on the bed and start kissing his whole body. Luca blows him while Ilya preps Shane's hole, a bit rougher than needed. Shane is a moaning mess under their touches, needy and greedy and thrusting his hips uncoordinated upwards and winding himself under his men.
He comes the first time into Luca's mouth, groaning loud, much louder than he usually does.
Luca continues his blowjob on the softening cock while Ilya starts fucking Shane until he's hard again. Luca then starts to put little hickeys and bitemarks on Shane's body and Shane is loosing is, crying and screaming in pleasure. After a bit Luca fucks Shane's mouth in a rough rhythm, while Shane is crying around his cock and moving with the thrusts of Ilya.
He comes a second time hands free before Ilya and Luca are done. They fuck his holes until both come inside him and leave him whimpering and shivering cum leaking out of his ass and mouth.
Ilya will make sure to clean him up and Luca and him take shifts of sleeping and watching over Shane until he wakes up in the morning, relaxed and still empty brained, smiling and nuzzling himself closer against them.
something something shane nagging ilya about eating healthy and quitting smoking and ilya just needs a fucking nicotine hit and (softly) snaps ‘why do you care so much? i’ll just do it outside and shower after’ and shane looks him dead in the eye and says ‘im not letting you chip years off your life when we’ve already wasted 9’ and ilyas just like yeah oh fuck he wants me for as long as he can get me and quits smoking and starts doing yoga even when it feels like his legs are going to fall out from under him because he doesn’t want his last thoughts to be regret for time lost
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i think if hollanov decide to have more than one kid at least one of them will be a goalie. and you know that kid is going first in whichever draft they end up in because they practiced on shane fucking hollander and ilya fucking rozanov (because if your dads were casually the two best centres in the nhl and two of the most successful hockey players on the planet, then you defend that net like your life depends on it)
everyone else in that years draft thinks this hollander-rozanov child got picked first out of nepotism (because who the fuck is that desperate to pick a goalie first overall in the draft?) until one day that team’s starting goalie is injured and all of a sudden your scoring chances have gone to hell because you’re trying to get the puck past cerberus, the three headed dog that guards the gates of hell
I need everyone to STICK WITH ME ON THIS ONE
In an alternate universe:
Ilya Rozanov: Marley I have something really important to tell you. I have hidden a secret about myself for a long time. You are one of my closest friends, and I hope that knowing this doesn’t change anything…I’m bisexual
Cliff Marlow: (visibly confused) yeah…I know that???
Ilya: what? How did you know???
Marlow: Dude you don’t exactly hide it
Ilya: What are you talking about????
Marlow: yeah dude you speak Russian all the time. You have an accent. It’s not that crazy
Ilya:…
Marlow:…
Ilya:…
Marlow:…
Ilya: THAT IS BILINGUAL YOU IDIOT-
*after explaining to his Idiot bestie what bisexuality really is*
Marlow: ooohhh so that’s what that thing with Hollander is
Ilya: ??????!!??!??????!?!???
