you’re too boring for sae? never
req, sorry this took so damn long, law + history is destroying me n i’ve been procrastinating like crazy 😕
you’ve seen countless pictures of other soccer players and their girlfriends together. the cute photos of their dates, the reels, the videos, all of it — their vacations in hot sandy countries, visits to bakeries that were famous for tooth achingly sweet treats and bubbly couple spa days.
their girlfriends too. models, actresses, influencers, all women of high regard that sparkled with confidence. glamorous was always the first word that came to mind when thinking about any of them.
compared to you, where organised dates between you and sae usually weren’t carried out, calendar dates forgotten and going out with him sometimes felt like you were wasting his time — you couldn’t help but be riddled with a lingering anxiety.
he would come home from practice tired and all you could do was sooth him with words. small praises that you thought would help put his mind at ease. your quality time felt empty, and you were insecure.
no dates, no outings, nothing.
you just felt like you couldn’t compare. you were such a parallel to the usual ‘type’ of soccer players. why was he with you when he could have one of those top models who likes to travel? or one of those influencers who would benefit his career? someone who could give him more than soft sentences and sweet words?
with the lack of intimacy, you believed the romantic days of your relationship had began to diminish and naturally assumed he felt the same.
which was exactly why you had to end it.
the chill was unsettling as you waited for him to come home. your entire body was on edge and there was a thick lump in the back of your throat as the silence of the apartment was filled with the soft tick of the clock. it echoed almost eerily around the room and you glanced at it.
the hands read ‘23:19’ and you knew he would be home soon.
seconds felt like hours as you thought about what you were about to do. was breaking it off really the best thing to do? the more you thought about it, the less convinced you were. he deserved someone with all the qualities you lacked, sure. but you loved him. wasn’t that enough?
the lock clicked at last and you raced up, heart sinking as sae stepped in. “you’re up?” he sighed while dropping his stuff, “i thought i told you to stop staying up for me.”
“yeah i know but…” you cleared your throat, “i have something important to tell you and i thought it’d be best to say it as soon as possible.”
he was hardly listening, emptying out his bag “go on.”
“i think we should break up.”
your sentence most definitely caught his attention, his rummaging hands came to a halt before he was looking over at you. “break up.” he repeated the words back, not as a question but more like a distasteful statement. “as in end it.”
“yes sae, end it.” the lump in your throat was back, heavier now as you spoke. “i know you’re busy but you try your best for me. you buy me gifts, spoil me crazy, shower me with money. that’s the problem, what do i do for you?”
you fell silent and the ticking of the clock filled the room once more. “have you seen kaiser and his girlfriend online? she organises their trips, she helps him—”
he was running a palm over his face, “and why are you believing what you see on social media?”
“that’s not the point,” your voice dropped as you spoke, “just, wouldn’t you prefer someone who isn’t… boring?”
you picked at your nails as you waited for his response. in truth, you didn’t want to hear the answer. you were already full of so much uncertainty about breaking up, to hear him actually say the word yes would break your heart.
he didn't though, approaching you while he spoke, “that's what this is about? you’re trying to breakup with me because you’re insecure.”
“and you’re consoling yourself by saying that i deserve better.” his voice was gentle, not condemning.
you had no argument. he was right, awfully horribly right. this ‘breakup’ was just a justification for you to put yourself down and spare yourself the heartbreak if he ever left you for someone ‘enjoyable’. a pathetic excuse to compare your relationship to others you didn't even know.
“do you really think i’m dating you for fun?” he was standing in front of you now and you shook your head weakly. he had read you like a book, of course he had.
“i’m not with you for dates or gifts or whatever.” he was wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close, “i’m dating you because i love you.”
your chest tightened with affection and you wondered how the words had left his lips so effortlessly. you burrowed into his chest with slight embarrassment, “so you don’t think i'm too boring for you?” your voice was barely a whisper.
“and you don’t care if we don’t go on fancy holidays?”
“and you won’t leave me for a pretty model?”
“obviously not, stop asking me stupid questions,” he rubbed softly into your back, “if you want to spend more time together, just ask. i appreciate anything you do for me.”
“then... will you stay home with me tomorrow? we can sleep in and i’ll make you breakfast.”
“if that’s what you want.” he was pulling back and giving you a soft peck, “then it sounds good.”
it looked like you had underestimated just how much sae really cared about you. the once impending tick of the clock sounded much lighter now after communicating your fears, each passing second now a moment for you to relish with sae instead of worry.
