Welcome to the Oncillarium

getting into batman is a gateway drug to becoming genuinely and powerfully attracted to superman

How to stay out of drama: be fucking oblivious

what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs

i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names

my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them

lifetime ban from the boba shop for ordering a kiki tea

I'm gonna go check on my WIP. just in case it wrote itself while I was gone. You never know.

stop scrolling for a moment to let bby safely cross your dash!