Brb Sobbing Over Animu Boys

was talking to my friend and I said “wow you have really long fingers” and then I realised that sounded like I was coming onto him so I added “like ET” to desexualise the moment

for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’

jerry is here

my chinese teacher once shared this story in class about someone who went to the grocery to buy chicken, but they forgot the english word for it, so they grabbed an egg, went to the nearest sales lady and said “where’s the mother”

This makes me feel better about every conversation I had in both Rome and Ghent.

My former boss is Italian and she ended up working in a lab where the common language was English. She once saw an insect running through the lab and she went to tell her colleagues. She remembered it was the name of a famous English band so she barged in the office yelling there was a rolling stone in the lab…

I love those stories so much…

that’s hilarious

I am officially screamlaughing at my desk from that last one OH MY 

What the hell Biblical Hebrew.

Just guessing: The path from something like “give someone a blade” to “give someone a blade, if you know what I mean ;)” is probably not that difficult or unlikely.

^Given that the Latin word for sheath (like, for a sword) is literally “vagina”, I can verify that this metaphor is a time-honored one. 

All of these *chef’s kiss* but the Medea one is hands down the best

s/o to my classics professor who managed to get a tire changed on his rental car while doing research in Greece by telling them his chariot had broken down

OMG the Greek ones are amazing 😂

Honestly they were my favorite characters in pokemon lol

are ya gonna credit the artists or

im the artist of all of these~

this is NUTS

Holy fucking shit dude

It must be exhausting being a vampire and eating someone who gets off to it. I’d take psychic damage too if my lasagna was into vore.

# the comedic potential of a reversed predator-prey dynamic is funny as hell and WILDLY under-utilized

Sorry, himbo machine broke

call her dwayne the way she’s rocking my johnson

You know, Tumblr often sends me phone alerts when one of my mutuals makes a new post, and the ones I get about your posts always make me feel like the app is taunting me. “We know you’ll love this, butch-king-frankenstein.” But will I? Will I really love this?

everybody’s so fucking mean to me all the time

yeah? well call me Steve Austin cause your posts make me feel stone cold

your mentality is literally a result of intestinal bacteria but you wouldnt get it tho. yuor bacteria wouldnt get it

Just so everyone is aware this is barely a joke. Your stomach bacteria have a huge impact on your brain chemistry.

That’s cool. Why are they making me sad

Call that a microaggression

@jlf23tumble

not all heroes wear capes

I’ve seen the photo many times but never knew her name and I definitely didn’t know there was a statue in her honor!