my tummy hurts

Lord, grant me the strength to throw away this box that i'll never use, the courage to throw away this box that i'll never use, and the wisdom to throw away this box that i'll never use

i was into the words bindle and oubliette before all you guys were (wonders if that's a weird thing to develop a superiority complex about) no. this is good and right

pregnant with a bag of peas

hey asshole! you lifted up the rock and now I have to scuttle! motherfucker!

people literally compliment each other like wow you were so ugly before, you're doing a way better job of having an appearance that signals belonging to dominant hegemonic social categories now

At Costco there were two butch ladies in their 60’s arguing about which couch to get and one of them said a certain option wouldn’t fit through the doorway at which point they BOTH immediately whipped out tape measures. Glorious.

One thing I love about studying math is that when you ask any fellow student or prof why they went into math we all say it’s because we find it beautiful. It’s so diametrically opposed to the opinion that everyone else has about math that it feels like some kind of virus that infects you and makes you unable to study anything else

I study math because there is some sort of gremlin in my brain addicted to the clacking sound two Numbers make when they smack against each other

freeze frame. yeah, thats me. you might be wondering if thats me. yeah its me. ok thanks. unfreezes frame

This may sound preachy, but if you’re in your teens or 20s please take care to develop the habit of speaking positively about people behind their backs. Gossip is unavoidable, and yes it does allow people to bond, and yes some people deserve to be shit talked. But I think being negative about things is literally just nature, whereas trying to be positive about things and people is a quality you have to be very intentional about . If this does not apply to you, good for you. But for most people I think it does. Im not lauding toxic positivity so much as saying that if there’s space to speak positively about someone behind their back, it’s better to take that route.

plus a lot of the time, talking about a person when they're not there still can get back to them. and hearing the nice things people say about you when you're not around? that can change someone's whole day. hell, once i heard a coworker i barely talk to considers me one of the most reliable people to go to for questions because i'm good at answering them in a way that makes sense. i've been riding that high for months.

The worst part of daylight savings time is that it greatly increases the number of days when my morning commute involves the sun just above the horizon, at the perfect angle to personally assault my retinas even with sunglasses on. With standard time this is a December and January phenomenon, but set the clocks ahead, and sun punches are back for March!

As much debate as there is about tone tags, 90% of the issues would be solved by just typing the word. Like instead of typing /gen or /hj you can just write (genuine) or (handjob) and you'll be doing pretty much the exact same thing.

Of course I personally think it's less awkward to use some rudimentary language skills to form actual sentences and phrases. They don't even have to be complicated. Like "Genuine question, why are you doing that?" Or "I'm being serious. Stop that." Or "I'm going to jerk you off now."

I whole wholeheartedly agree with you on this matter OP. I do feel like it's often forgotten in this discourse that tonetags originated on Twitter where they had to get around a constrictive character count for tweets. I think how we got here makes a lot more sense when you consider the process otherwise of trying to fit an entire handjob in 280 characters.

I am deeply uncomfortable with this man's corner

The Spiral

Home decor hacks for if you hate yourself and want to die

When a mommy hates a daddy very much, mommy will conspire with daddy’s coworkers to discreetly steal his genetic material during a night of passion between daddy and his two coworkers who hate each other almost as much as they hate daddy, so that mommy can use daddy’s genetic material to create a living bomb that she will detonate to breach a locked tomb that only opens for daddy or a close blood relative, like a living bomb made out of one half of daddy’s stolen dna, that contains the death of daddy and his evil empire, and sometimes mommy will fail because one person in her ill advised polyclue, who is actually two people in one body but only one of them knows this and who are both daddy’s coworkers but not the ones who stole his dna, will push mommy with her living bomb out of an airlock during which she will die and fall down onto a decrepit planet that guards the locked tomb with her still alive and undetonated bomb. And that’s how babies are made!