Things I Found Funny Or Interesting

my first thought is to "take the bullet for the president." the bullet of course being cat yack, and the president being the thick luxurious carpets of my bedroom.

i discard this thought. im clean. i like being clean. i have been clean for only four seconds.

my second thought is to remember that there is a large, plastic sheeted area in the corner near the cats food bowl. ms. kitty is a messy eater, so she has to eat on the sheet.

i grab my cat and toss it across the room onto the sheet. i feel like im throwing a live grenade out of my trench. cat drives heaves once in my arms, then throws up in midair, approximately one foot out of my grasp.

i watch the barf fly in the same arc as my cat. conservation of momentum. theres not much velocity imbued by peristalsis.

both land at the same time. vomit splats. cat lands gracefully. she turns around, looks at me with total serenity, and throws up a second time. still on the plastic. i tell her that shes a great cat for staying still to do that. she does not give a shit.

i get some dirty clothes out of my laundry hamper and pile them up so she can sit on them. she loves dirty laundry. cats are nasty like that. i clean up the barf and she watches with interest. i have tossed her across the room, and now, stolen her barf. i am utterly befuddling to her. she tolerates me though because i give good scritches.

i toss the vomit soaked paper towels into the trash and come back with a bowl of bottled water (she has preferences) and a cat squeezy treat. she accepts three sips of water but declines the treat. very reasonable. i go back downstairs and put the treat in a ziplock in the fridge so she can have it tomorrow. i come back and shes trotting on her wheel.

i ask how long shes been able to do that. she doesn't answer - in part because she is a cat, but mostly because she is an asshole. she just keeps jogging. i turn to walk away and she meows at me to spin the wheel faster.

For once I'm not actually doing a bit; those "any resemblance to real persons living or dead" disclaimers genuinely exist because of Rasputin.

i think i found my new favorite artist on twitter

You just gotta remind yourself that just like this deer, you are in the situation (social) where everyone is expecting this situation to occur (social situationing), and many other people may even be expressly looking forward to it (seeing you/the deer). Seeing the deer (you) may be the best part of the situation for them.

Exactly!!!!

and even if it wasn't the sole or only reason they are there, they came KNOWING there are 1,300-1,400 deer (you) free roaming in Nara Park (in social situations) and you're going to be a delightful part of the experience. (As long as you don't bite anyone for crackers. Or headbutt them.)

This is the map of Nara Park area, btw. The bus terminal is literally right on the entrance to the park. Also the city mascot is a sika deer named Shikamaro-kun. The little blue path from the terminal is where I bought deer crackers to feed the deer in the photo on the approach to Todaiji temple. (The deer enclosure I think is Rokuen which is where the sick or pregnant deer are cared for in safety.)

Anyways! The deer are expected and beloved and also protected as messengers of the gods within Nara.

(look at this guy!! Imagine he is the same deer as in the first photo, it's just months later with his antlers grown in more and he's napping in the sun in front of a sign that says deer! he was never out of place, he just needed a sunshine nap!)

Deer (you) isn't actually out place at all! deer is important and appreciated. Also if people make deer (you) feel like you don't belong in their (your) own house, you can tell them to leave.

book 1

books 2-12