OK SO MY INCOHERENT THOUGHTS-
in case you didnāt know, humans have this interesting mental capacity we call the Uncanny Valley. Basically, once something hits a certain threshold of Close To Looking Human, instead of going āoh! Thatās a human!ā Our brains instinctively panic. They classify that thing as So Evil. Ultimate Evil, Actually. You Should Kill It Or Run.
This is not the case in most animals! which is why I call it a capacity. Once something looks generally like an animal? Said animals tend to accept it as another animal and move on.
The theory, and I cannot find where I read this unfortunately so I canāt quote it, but the THEORY, is that the reason we developed this was to be able to recognize when something was Off about people because they had rabies. If something is aaaaaalmost human, but Wrong? Itās not human! Itās a human with rabies.
Another theory I read is that we developed this ability to distinguish between Neanderthals and Homo sapiens. These are both really interesting theories, but theyāre also not what I was talking about in the above post.
Now, Iām gonna tackle the parasite thing first because itās shorter. Itās a well known and documented phenomenon that diseases, especially diseases classified as parasites, get worse during the full moon. This is why moon madness is a thing. This is why hospice centers have a sort of mini lockdown during full moons.
Completely unrelated: did you know the herb Wolfsbane is one of the most commonly used herbal treatments for parasites? Yeah. Wild.
ANYWAY NOW FOR PRION DISEASES -
According to Wikipedia (not the best source, no, but this is a tumblr post fuck off) āTransmissible spongiform encephalopathies(TSEs), also known asĀ prion diseases,[1]Ā are a group of progressive, incurable, and fatal conditionsā¦According to the most widespread hypothesis, they are transmitted byĀ prions, though some other data suggest an involvement of aĀ SpiroplasmaĀ infection.[2]Mental and physical abilities deteriorate and many tiny holes appear in theĀ cortexĀ causing it to appear like a sponge when brain tissue obtained atĀ autopsyĀ is examined under aĀ microscope. The disorders cause impairment of brain function which may result in memory loss, personality changes, andĀ abnormal or impaired movementĀ which worsen over time.[3]ā
prions are misfolded proteins that enter into a cell and start causing other proteins to misfold, leading to a cascading effect where every protein in the body is gradually replaced by a nearly identical protein that is entirely unusable. Itās not completely jumbled, either! Itās justā¦. Not quite right. Itās almost usable, but not. Almost human, but not.
This is the cause of chronic wasting disease in deer! The human equivalent is called CreutzfeldtāJakob disease and itās basically always fatal. Itās largely localized in the nervous system - twitching, delusions, pain, spasming, all from the slowly forming web of tiny holes in your brain tissue and nerves as the cells die of starvation. Deer with CWD areā¦. Deeply wrong. Uncanny, you could say. They wander around in circles, they act aggressively or irrationally. Itās very similar to rabies.
Now, prion diseases and rabies arenāt necessarily related, except for the fact that theyāre both transmitted from animal to animal and that theyāre difficult or impossible to cure, but the sensation that accompanies seeing a rabies victim or seeing a deer infected with chronic wasting disease is the same. Itās the Uncanny Valley. Itās that sense deep in your subconscious that something is wrong. That is not a deer. That is not a dog.
I thought about that, and I realized I think thatās what vampirism is. Itās when you look at something and you realize that - though it looks human - creeping through its blood, through its nerves, is a misfiring of code. There is something wrong. That is not a person, that is a walking transmission of Other, of Bad Data, a shambling glitch self-generating outward into infinity until the host is dead and the pattern spins itself out. It ties into the nature of vampirism as something that freezes you in place: humans are capable of growth, of change, of life. A vampire is justā¦ a repeating pattern thatās Wrong.
Iām fascinated by the fact that a prion is simply a misfolded protein. Itās literally not even alive. Itās not hostile. Itās not broken or aggressive itāsā¦ just a mistranslation. If said misfolded protein were somehow fold itself in such a way as to be not beneficial, but not fatal to the body either, the disease would no longer be an unfortunate tragedy. It would be transformative. It would rewrite. It would wiggle itself down to the very smallest bits of you, would change them from the bottom up, would infect others through a very similar manner as a classic a vampire or werewolf. Saliva. Blood.
How much does oneās DNA affect oneās personhood? You canāt attribute every human flaw and failing to genetics, but I just found out I have a genetic condition that prevents my body from metabolizing a vital amino acid. The code doesnāt match. The acid canāt transform properly. I have to take it artificially, and now that I am, I am a shockingly different person to be around, but I canāt tell. I literally cannot perceive that I am a different person now, except for the moments when I see other peopleās reactions to me shift in real time, and I realize that Iāve been doing something deeply āout of characterā for unmedicated me.
If someone were to have every cell in their body replaced, one by one, with a cell whose DNA was translated into a completely different genetic ālanguage,ā despite said cells fulfilling the same purpose and holding the same memoriesā¦. Would they be a person? Ship of Theseus this shit, is that the person they were or is it something Else? What if those cells CAN fulfill the same function, but theyāre also stronger, faster, smarter, more capable of growth and development? Are they still a human? Are they still the same human?
As someone who believes that humans have souls, I want to say that that wouldnāt matter, that they would still be the same person. But I ALSO believe that the nature of the soul and the nature of the body are intertwined. If the body changes into something inhuman, do you still have a human soul? Or is it a different kind of soul? Has the soul left the now foreign environment, leaving only a facsimile to puppet itself around in its absence?
In āconclusion,ā um. Iām. Iām face blind. I cannot properly perceive human faces, and because of that, I am, when with others, at all times experiencing the sensation of uncanny valley. Itās unpleasant, sure, but the real kicker? When I look in the mirror and see Not Human Bad Evil Run Hide staring back at me for a split second. It never gets easier. It never becomes normal. Thereās always this uneasy sense around mirrors, that theyāre off, that what Iām seeing isnāt real. That, one day, I might walk into a bathroomā¦ and my reflection wonāt walk in with me.
