Some headcanons about queer acceptance among the different amphibian species which I came up with for the purposes of my fic
There are some rare species of frogs in real life that can change sex according to enviromental pressures. This is true in Amphibia as well. The existance of a biological precedent results in frog culture having a pretty well-established concept of "gender transition" as a normal part of some frogs' lives. This doesn't mean frogs who can change sex can do it on command, or that the change is related to gender identity. It's not, more often than not, but this also means there's a precedent for a frog's gender "not matching" their sex, if someone changes sex involuntarialy. The presence of these frogs, while rare and only found in some regions of the continent, has resulted in the relationship between sex and gender not being self-evident in frog culture. While most transgender frogs can't "naturally transition" and have no acces to either the medical technology or magic to transition physically, they're considered completely normal. Frogs whose sex "doesn't match" their gender because of an involuntary change resulting from enviromental pressures are considered a different identity from frogs who socially transition because their gender identity "doesn't match" their agab, since these are different experiences.
Frogs die like flies, that's just a fact. The average way to die is being eaten by a giant bug before reaching 40. This means that 1) a lot of frogs are orphaned from a young age and 2) parents can't reliably expect their biological children to inherit property. So, adoption is incredibly common. Unlike in the case of newts and toads, biological ties are not a requirement for transmision of lands, property or titles (it's rare for frogs to have titles, but there are some cases), so same-sex couples pose no obstacle in the community's social reproduction. If anything, they're valued precisely due to their inability to have biological children, because it means there will always be a surplus of child-free adults in a community to adopt and protect orphaned tadpoles. A couple without children will be better equipped to care for an orphaned child than a family with lots of children.
Arranged marriages are common, especially in rural areas. Kids will often be engaged to each other from a young age as an agreement between their respective families in order to establish social alliances, protect property and ensure a good social standing. Parents often take into account their children's feelings on the matter and will try to find them an agreeable match, but they're the ones with the final word. Because heterosexual unions are still more common than same-gender ones, most arranged marriages are between male and female frogs. Same-gender arranged unions exist, but they're rare. A young frog is expected to fulfill the arrangement regardless of their sexual orientation, but because the main concern has to do with legal ties of inheritance, some spouses will allow their partners to pursue other people without their families' knowledge.
Toad culture is incredibly militarized. They are considered legal adults by age 15 and, through a yearly lottery, many are expected to fulfill 15 years of compulsory military service in a Toad Tower, most likely one far away from where they were born. If your name comes out in the lottery, there are a few ways to avoid having to go. One is being extremely rich and buying your way out of it. Another is being disabled in a way that would incapacitate you to fight. While there are positions in the tower that don't require much physical prowess (there are stewards, tailors, cooks, scribes, accountants etc) these typically require some previous training. The toads drafted are used as foot soldiers. You can always also run away and become a bandit or a mercenary, which is very common. The fourth option is having biological children. Many toads will have children very young and give them up for adoption after a year, which means toad orphanages are brimming with unwanted tadpoles. Those, plus the ones whose parents died. This means adoption is also common in toads, though many of these young toads will grow up in the orphanage before joining a toad tower at age 15 willingly, hoping to make a name for themselves and earn a better life. Now, in a tower, same-sex relationships are actually more widely accepted than heterosexual unions, because a couple having biological children would force their captain to relieve them of their post. It would become an incredibly easy way for soldiers to abandon the towers without being labeled as traitors. There are a few incentives not to try this - a toad that completes their services will be set up for life, but one that doesn't, even through "legal means" such as becoming unable to fight or having children, won't get anything (if that sounds horribly ableist to you, it's because it is. The point is to save resources by providing for as few veterans as possible). If you're an orphan who comes from nothing, you really want to avoid that. Anyway, same-sex couples don't have that problem, so they give their captains less of a headache.
There are no toad species capable of naturally switching sexes, and since their encounters with frogs are often limited unless they live in a frog-majority town, their concept of gender transition is a bit more awkward. Many don't understand the purpose, or think it's a frivolous thing, a waste of time, something for soft-hearted frogs and the toad civilians that become too enamored with them. If it involves lots of introspection and consideration of your own feelings, it's worthless. Sure, they'll respect your pronouns if you insist on it, but they'll probably think you're pathetic and weak.
Toads have very little concept of individuality. The idea of "being your true self" sounds ridiculous to many, because the system crushes a toad's self. Caring about things like identity would make you sound self-important, pretentious, egocentric. A toad does not sit on the window to ponder their feelings. No one cares about their feelings. Sometimes they act on them, but they don't think about them.
Most toads don't own anything. The small portions of land given to veterans return to the Crown once they pass, and their children will have to find somewhere else to live. Many times, they join a tower, because they grant them some stability and security. They don't have titles either. Unless a family manages to buy land and/or property, there is no inheritance. Once a family acquires it, however, preserving the inheritance becomes a big priority. But unlike frogs, ancient laws hailing from the age of the old Toad Lords determine that only biological children may inherit. That means that if a family already has biological children, they're not likely to adopt, because that would only cause trouble and leave their adopted child with nothing. So, most heterosexual couples won't adopt, resulting in most cases of adoption coming from same-sex ones.
This leaves families with same-sex parents at an extreme disadvantage. Many toads will move on from same-sex relationships after their service and settle in heterosexual marriages in order to achieve safety and security. Same-sex relationships are accepted in younger toads, but it's something you're supposed to move on from if you want a stable adult life.
Of course, this is just the "ideal" outcome. "Ideal" cases are rare even among heterosexual unions and many toads lead much different lives after their service: becoming bandits, staying unmarried, sometimes even going to college and pursuing a career. Not to mention that around 1/3 of toads are never drafted at all.
The thing with newts is that they live the most peaceful lives. The most dangerous areas of Amphibia are guarded by the Toad Towers, while newt nobles enjoy the safety of kinder, more gracious lands. Sudden deaths are rare, and orphans are rarer. Even if a child happens to lose both their parents, they will likely have aunts or grandparents to look after them. Adoption is much less common, which makes same-sex couples less important as a social institution.
The other thing! While frogs and toads reproduce through amplexus - a position in which the male lies on the back of the female to rub their cloacas together and inseminate her - which, for the purposes of this analysis, we'll say fulfills a similar role to sex in our world, newts engage in external reproduction. Basically, a male releases a package of sperm called spermatophore, which the female absorbs with her cloaca, without the need for physical contact. Which means that newts don't f*ck. And since reproduction occurs without "sex", they have no need for sexual attraction. Therefore, all newts are asexual (though aromanticism is rare).
Some newts may consider themselves above toads and frogs, who they see as being brutish and impulsive, unable to control their desires. Many toads and frogs see newts as being cold and unloving regarding "sex". Some newts in romantic relationships with frogs or toads may engage in amplexus for the sake of their partners.
There are no newt or salamander species with the ability to change their sex, so newts isolated in Newtopia, who know little of what happens outside the city walls, may have never heard about frogs who can. The concept of a sex change is foreign to them. However, transgender newts do exist and, if they have the money, they have access to the best medical technology Newtopia has to offer, though it doesn't come with the social acceptance found in frog-majority regions.
Same-sex relationships are discouraged among noble folk due to the importance of inheritance, while working-class newts are more likely to engage in same-sex behaviors. Thus, homosexuality is considered something "impulsive" and "inelegant". A general bad idea if you care about your status at all.
Queer individuals don't face any extreme form of persecution. Gender transition and same-sex behaviors are strongly discouraged in some situations, but there are no laws prohibiting them and cases of violence against these individuals are practically unheard of.
Toads don't tend to identify with any specific labels, such as "gay" or "transgender", going off more by behavior than identity. A toad is not "gay", they simply practice gay activities.
Frogs do have different terms to identify transgender individuals, but not same-sex attracted individuals, who are also considered not to have any one specific identity but to engage in a varied arrange of same-sex behaviors.
Working-class newts are the ones most attached to the idea of labels and specific identities, while noble newts avoid the irremovability of labels, as they don't want rumors to stain their social standing. It's less world-dooming to be caught engaging in homosexual activities than to be forever labeled as a homosexual.
Arranged marriages between same-sex couples are only heard of among frogs, and even then they're rare.
The scientific term for frogs who can change their sex naturally is "sequential hermaphrodites". This is a very sciency term and while it's not considered offensive, different communities have different words for them. In Frog Valley, they're called "switchies". The Sundews are switchies! While Felicia and Ivy have never changed sex before, it's known that Sylvia has "switched" at least four times in her life! The term they use for transgender individuals who are not sequential hermaphrodites is "false switchies", which sounds bad, but has no pejorative connotations. it simply means the switching is purely social and not physical.
Anne is considered a "switchie" as opposed to a "false switchie" because she did "switch" some of her physical characteristics with the help of Maddie. Witches are very rare, especially in the south, so there are no specific terms for frogs who transition through magic, or even modern newtopian medicine.
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