I care

a battle of the minds, showing the main characters their darkest fears come true, slowly driving them insane

THIS is how you do a final battle with horror instead of action, to show that you can’t win with guns, but with love

''how do you explain politics and terrorism to an alien. question."

transcript below:

Grace: "Oooo what'cha lookin at buddy?"

Rocky: "Rocky use Earth thinking machine to look at Earth city. Statement."

Grace: "Oh! Thats a pretty old picture bud. Lemme pull up a more recent photo"

Rocky: "Yes Yes. Show Rocky more accurate city. Demand. Want to see human improvement on structures. Amaze Amaze Amaze."

Grace: "Here's NYC before I left! Jeez it's just as pretty as I remember, blah blah blah history fact blah blah-"

Rocky: "Grace."

Grace: "Yea, Rock?"

alr, this is easily to explain with examples.

so take me, a trans guy for instance:

if i'm straight, then i'm "a lesbian with internalised homophobia"

if i'm gay, then i'm "a straight girl fetishising gay men"

if i'm aro/ace, then i must be "sexually traumatised"

if i'm bi, then i'm all of the above

any other orientation? "you just made that up for attention"

Let them huggg, they both deserve it so much.

Aftermath of Grace’s antics (he had it coming)

Close ups under cut >>

Grace never having understood why he's never really "fit in" with everyone else. Him never having understood anything about romance or sex and feeling out of place all his life, and other people noticing too! What Stratt said, he has no one (at least not in the eyes of an amato- and heteronormative society) so he's worth less to them. (this isn't a great example, since Stratt would've said anything to convince him to go, she just said whatever seemed the most convincing, but you get the point.)

And then there's Rocky, who doesn't even have all the cultural context to know why Grace is acting strange when he mentions his own mate. But even then, Rocky was always there for him despite that, Rocky doesn't care whether or not Grace has a mate, he just wants Grace to be happy.

And then Grace on Erid meeting Adrian and loving them and being loved back by them just as much as Rocky does. And being loved and wanted by both of them and it doesn't matter in what way they all love each other, only that they do.

There are no expectation for anything. No expectations of sex or kids or anything of the like, just being able to choose what he wants instead of being pressured into something by all of society.

Grace finally feeling accepted, loved, and wanted all unconditionally and being leaky (of course) over finally feeling like he belongs.

So one year for charity different pro athletes get asked to participate in a live game based on one of those “how well do you know your partner” games but instead it’s “how well do you know your rival” and participating means you get to raise money for a charity of your choice and obviously Shane and Ilya want to promote the Irina Project so they agree and go up against other current famous rivals from other sports

And Shane and Ilya discuss ahead of time that obviously they’ll have to just play things off as they usually do, light hearted chirps back and forth and what not, “winning” is just for the show and won’t impact how much money gets made for their charity so it doesn’t matter. Except then they get there and become overtaken by the need to Win and Be the Best and they are the best. So without needing to discuss changing the plan, as soon as the questions start they lock in and decide that actually they have to demolish everyone else

The other rivals are laughing and making jokes at the questions but Shane and Ilya are deadly serious and the host starts to get a little weirded out by the fact that they actually know the answers and aren’t just saying things like “how many goals last season? Probably one less than me haha” and actually have each others stats memorized

Because the audience is loving it they go to a lightning round that’s just Shane and Ilya and it’s now the usual couple game questions and they’re still getting them right because they can make excuses for knowing later, right now is about Winning

“What is Shane’s favorite breakfast?”

“Kale protein shake with a scoop of peanut butter and a handful of blueberries.”

“Ok um, what is Ilya’s favorite breakfast?”

“Two sausage egg McMuffins with an extra slice of cheese and hashbrowns.”

“What is something on Shane’s bucket list?”

“Sleeping in one of those see through igloos under the northern lights.”

“What is something on Ilya’s bucket list?”

“That thing where you feed giraffes at a zoo.”

“Ok last one. I think we all know Shane’s answer is former paramour Rose Landry, but who do you think is the most famous person Rozanov has ever slept with is?”

*through teeth gritted so tight he is in danger of chipping one* “Probably a model. Or something.”

“… Yeah, let’s go with that.”

I would like for it to get out of my eyes on the same occasion.

Okay, moving on.

This episode is quite good but feels also weirdly fast paced. Looking back at my notes, not a lot happens, but it does happen really fast 🤨

Over the years, I have gone back and forth a lot about the Guardian stuff, but I have settled, ultimately, on being quite neutral about it. This is the "everybody has to be a superhero" show, so I guess he's going to be a superhero.

In a way, it also feels relatable, because I suppose that if someone broke my comfort object I would also lose my entire mind. I've also been paying closer attention to him in anticipation of this plot, and there is a bit in the first episode of this season where he tries to save someone (and then Kara has to save him 🙄) so I guess it doesn't entirely come out of nowhere.

But I'm also very partial to what Winn says to him before he ultimately caves by the end of the episode, which is that some people are just here to pass on information and there is no shame in that.

At the end of the day, my favourite thing about Guardian is his theme. Also, his sister 😏

I want to give Alex (and her plot) all the space she needs, so I'm going to go with Lena next ; also because I have to say that though I have always, always been a big Lena fan, I was so focused on Alex (and how much she needs a fucking hug) in this episode, that I wasn't even derailed from this by the Supercorp of it all.

Because, what, and I cannot stress this enough, the fuck is going on here ?

Was this in the script ? Did they ask her to do this ?

There have been times over the years when I've told myself I was making this up, that I'd fallen into a collective hallucination and we were all making it up, but I'm positive that we were not.

Now, at what point did the writers pick up on this and decided to lean fully into the queerbaiting, I don't know, but what I do know is that I am seeing this with my functioning eyeballs and I am not in fact hallucinating.

Like, I don't even really need to take this out of context for it to sound flirty as fuck !

Side note : Kara's face after she's said "golly," is so fucking funny. She is very much aware that this is not something she should have said in front of her crush.

And I am absolutely astonished that there isn't even another episode in between the boy from Daxam/girl from Krypton thing and this.

This is not subtle, they are making zero effort, it's happening right in front of our eyes !

But outside of the Supercorp of it all, Lena is also a very good character in her own rights, and I really like how unabashedly smart she is (apart from when, you know, it comes to realising Kara and Supergirl are the same person 🙄) and that she got to save the day ! (Even if the technobabble was very technobabbly).

Now, I'll be honest, I have been fully spiralling about Alex since I rewatched this episode. I am losing my entire damned mind over her, it's like it hasn't been almost a decade since I first watched this, I feel genuinely insane.

Speaking of almost decades : how did I never notice, in that almost decade, that she hugs herself when she's upset ?!?

I rewatched this specific moment many times, I asked other people about it, I stood in front of my mirror recreating the pose to see what it looks like for myself, and came to the ultimate conclusion that tough, strong, Alex Danvers hugs herself when she's upset 😭

We can also see it in the background of 113 and in the previous episode (204)

And now I'm wondering 1. how the fuck I never noticed this ? 2. if she still does it in the more recent seasons of the show. I have missed out on so much fanfic potential ! If I'd noticed this before I would have put it fucking everywhere 😭

Also I know she is, like, a character someone made up in a writers room, that her choices are entirely fictional, but I need to talk to her, I want to dissect her brain, I want to know what the fuck she thought it sounded like when she offered that Maggie and her keep each other company ??

This woman is going to become the highly competent head of a government agency, and yet she does not realise that she basically propositioned someone ? The inside of her head must be so interesting 😭

On a more serious note, her coming out arc is so well done. They really gave it the proper breadth, the space and time it needed, and it's so easy, watching it, to feel what she's feeling, even if this as never happened to me.

Her face when she realises she's suddenly been seen when she'd been hiding even from herself, that someone has noticed something about her that she'd shoved so far down it was unknown even to her…

And then ! Her first instinct ! Is to talk to her sister about it !

Because that's what she does ! She trusts her sister ! She talks to her sister ! She reaches out to her sister !

(Don't think about season 4. Don't think about the mindwipe. Don't think about season 4. Don't think about-)

Side note : she looks so fucking good in that red sweater.

I'm not sure how I feel about the conversation about her always wanting a sister and forcing Kara to be who she wanted her to be, especially because I can't quite fit it in with the rest of the timeline (when did Alex have these thoughts ? Before or after she made fun of Kara for never seeing birds before ? Does this fit in before Jeremiah dies ? Or after the Kenny thing ?)

But the thing is that, ultimately, Alex's never had the opportunity to figure herself out beyond surface level. She knows who she is at work, she knows what her favourite film is, her favourite food, but she doesn't know who she is inside. All she knows is that there's always been something off about herself, something she couldn't figure out and that kept her from being perfect, and now, at last, it's coming out to hit her in the face.

Because she's met this girl who she likes in a very confusing way, a girl who's gay and thinks she might be gay too, a girl who challenges her, who's not afraid to push back or make fun of her (when Maggie called her a nerd I lost my entire damned mind), and that…

Well that might be the missing piece.

Little thing i did a while back and forgot to post here hehe (not exactly au compliant, i just wanted to draw Bonk)

Bonk belongs to gracerockyy on twitter!