dealing with a chronic illness flareup and the nonsense that happens in your comments section⌠gods strongest soldier i fear
<3
after three brain surgeries, even the nastiest ao3 comment is ehhh. like ok susan, a neurosurgeon has removed chunks of my skull and cut into my brain three times, you think your comment thatâs basically a couple spelling errors and a fundamental misunderstanding of the purpose of fanfic can faze me?? fuck all the way off
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Absolutely no pressure but any updates on the next ch of Shane Hollander is not a stalker? I need the foursome but ofc take your time to cook, just curious, thanks!
Hey, thank you for asking! I am in the middle of a brutal chronic illness/pain flare thatâs making it hard to write(/function/live), so unfortunately I donât have an ETA right now. But I promise we will get that Shane/Ilya/Luca/Marlow scene, even if it kills me and pisses off half my comments section haha.
Not sure if anyone else out there can relate (& if you can, come talk to me), but man, itâs rough when your body and brain wonât let you do something that feels like a core part of your identity. What is a creative who canât create? I have to remind myself that my identity isnât tied to my output. This shit (trigeminal neuralgia, chronic migraine, MCAS, & some other equally dumb/painful conditions) has taken a lot from me but Iâm still a writer, even if I barely feel human at the moment.
Anyway, that was probably way more info than you wanted! It means so much that youâre excited about it (honestly, it will keep me going today) and I am looking forward to delivering the foursome ASAP. Thanks for any good health vibes you can send my way.
What if Ilya brought Luca into the relationship and Shane went along with it to make him happy, but Shane just gets more and more unhappy and jealous of Ilya banging Luca alone and Ilya isnât paying attention because heâs sex drunk... Until eventually Shane breaks down and says he can't do it anymore, and he'd understand if Ilya chose Luca because obviously Shane is really boring and not enough to please Ilya, but he needs Ilya to make a choice about the future of their relationship? What then?
Hmm, interesting question!
I love me some toxic Hollanov, but if weâre talking about a post-TLG scenario where theyâre married and on the Centaurs together, I have a hard time believing Ilya would let the situation get to that point. Heâs always been so good about checking in with Shane (Consent King Ilya Rozanov!), and I donât think he would enjoy having Luca in their relationship if Shane wasnât very vocally and obviously into it too.
If weâre talking about a canon-divergent scenario during the TLG timeline like in my fic shane hollander is not a stalker, where theyâre not yet married, playing on different teams, and living apart (and maybe this is what you were asking about?), then I can see how the physical distance between them and their well-documented communication issues could potentially get us here. Even so, I think Ilya would horrified once he realized what was happening, and heâd walk away from Luca in a heartbeat.
âDoes it turn you on?â Shane asks, licks a stripe up Ilyaâs dick. âWhen he calls you Mr. Rozanov?â Shane punctuates the question by sinking his hot, wet mouth over Ilya.
Ilya lurches, fights against the press of Shaneâs strong hands and buries his free hand alongside the other in Shaneâs hair. He moans, feels himself losing whatever battle Shane has warred against him. In a last-ditch effort, he tugs on Shaneâs hair, pulls his mouth from Ilyaâs cock with an obscene slurp. Ilya leans down, cheek brushing against the top of Shaneâs head.
âNo, kotenok, it does not,â he breathes, gasps, into Shaneâs hair. Ilya leans further down, delivers a sharp nip to Shaneâs ear, before whispering, âIt turns me on when he calls me captain.â
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it's finished! my toxic hollanov infidelity fic where, in a TLG-era depressive spiral, ilya gets outed after photos leak of luca haas blowing him in an alley behind a club.
it's not going to be everyone's cup of tea. but i personally had fun with it, i think it has some of the best prose iâve ever written, and so if you fancy some angst with a side of meditation on fate and control and what happens if you let certain things that simmer under the surface of canon (no one can make shane feel the way ilya does, ilya would rather lie than confront shane with the truth of how unhappy he is in ottawa, these characters are soulmates and destined to be together but at what cost....) then this could be the one for you!
okay walk with me so Shane and Ilya canât find a dog sitter for Anya while theyâre at the All-Stars game. Sveta has a work thing, the Hollanders are on vacation that weekend, and that one time when they hired some lady off of an app she tracked mud into the house and Shane nearly had an aneurysm (there is that fancy pet hotel downtown but last time Anya stayed there they received a voicemail that said Anya was being a little spoiled and wasnât playing well with others and Ilya took it so personally that he swore to never take her back there) and hey! Luca isnât going to All-Stars so why doesnât he just dog sit?? he loves dogs and wasnât planning on going anywhere over the break anyway sooo he stays over a few nights at the Hollander-Rozanov residence and oh I dunno maybe Ilya sees something he wasnât meant to over the dog camera they have set up in the living room that they tooootally meant to warn Luca about but must have forgot to mention and Ilya knows he probably shouldnât but he watches the rookie jerk off and moan both his AND Shaneâs name as he comes and so thatâs how Ilya finally convinces Shane that Luca would definitely be down if they asked him to have a threesome. send post.
i am so deeply curious about hollanov schrĂśdingerâs kidnapping luca đđđ (respectfully) i have my hands outstretched asking for more like oliver twist
If you do not want to read some vaguely DD:DNE (haas)hollanov concepts, do not read on.
Imagine that Shane had to quit hockey for whatever reason. He still ends up with Ilya, and maybe things are ⌠not great. Depending on your desired level of horror, maybe Ilya is directly responsible for Shane no longer playing hockey. Regardless, he ends up in the metaphorical basement â or probably the attic with a little window which he uses to look out onto the world that used to belong to him. He is super bitter about it, obviously. It makes him fucking hateful.
And then, maybe ten years later, Luca comes along with his baby face and fucking incredible stats, and people are saying that there hasnât been a rookie this promising since Shane Hollander vanished from the public eye all those years ago. And maybe Shane watches Ilya start watching Luca, and it makes him see red, and maybe Ilya notices and starts watching him even more intently (I love a good manufactured jealousy moment).
Maybe Ilya pushes Shane to befriend Luca, and Shane doesnât want to â because he hates him, both because heâs a prodigy and because his husband wonât stop staring. Maybe he does it anyway, because Ilya said so.
Maybe Luca has a little slip-up on the ice and needs someone to care for him for a bit.
Feel free to play in this sandbox with me. đââď¸
the meltdown ilya will have if he ever finds out shane used to call rose babe. he never calls ilya babe, and it doesn't matter if shane tells him that's just what guys call their gfs and he was just doing the same, ilya is gonna be so dramatic about this
landrygate ii - babegazi is gonna be two weeks of ilya going "idk why don't you ask your babe rose landry" "oh wouldn't you rather be kissing rose, she's such a babe" "look shane, that pretty girl smiled at you, you wanna go call her babe too?"
it's important to note that shane calls ilya baby often, and ilya would never want to be called anything else, but he's gonna ride this wave for as long as it gets him shane kissing his neck and saying he's the only one for him, calling him every sweet name he knows in english, french and russian. shane knows it's ilya playing, but if there's even a tiny grey cloud over ilya when he remembers those months, shane is gonna kiss it away again and again, as much as he needs
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ilya railing the life out of shane with his hand around shane's throat while grunting, "take this fucking cock, hollander. good boy, good fucking boy" and shane is laying there making this face cause he's so fucked and blissed out:
"The Back of Pride Night", Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Scott Hunter [Hudson Williams, Connor Storrie, Francois Arnaud] from Heated Rivalry, the bonus rear cover from the [REDACTED] zine
Mar 2026
I messed up a few things with this one, mostly because it was going to have a big title text over the top of it. Shane and Scott's hands on Ilya's back look horrible (again, they weren't actually meant to be visible), and while I'm tempted to go in and change it, I'm not going to because hey, guess what? People make mistakes too. The little rainbow bit was a colour swatch from another part of the image, and I messed up the layers when I was overlaying it. If you know how hard it is to differentiate between 700+ colour layers, you'll understand my plight right now.
(Also, the first time I did this, I spelled both "Rozanov" and "Hollander" wrong and had to argue with my own brain even after I fixed it because I'd stared at it for so long they'd ceased to be words)
Please do not repost my work to other sites without permission
is this anything? I am always looking for ways to get marlow + luca together so maybe will write more of this...
--
If thereâs one thing Cliff Marlow canât stand, itâs a good kid getting his feelings hurt. And Luca Haasâthe Ottawa rookie, all big green eyes and shiny blond hair with a wicked-ass slapshotâis, by all accounts, a real good kid.Â
Which means Cliff is now watching, increasingly horrified, as a packed ballroom collectively decides to make his night miserable. Worse, it seems like Roz wants this to happen.Â
So Cliff has to fix it. Not that heâs into dudes, really, but, like. This shit isnât okay.
The Irina Foundation is having a silent auction to raise money for their camps, and Cliff is stoked to have been invited. Heâs enjoyed the canapes and the booze, scrawled his name on bid sheets for a weekend at Hollanderâs cottage and an Instagram photoshoot with Barrettâs boyfriend. But itâs the end of the nightâeverybodyâs champagne glasses down to dregs, their bowties and lips loosenedâand one item still has zero bids, because Roz is staring daggers at anyone who approaches the table. That item?
WIN A DATE WITH LUCA HAAS.
Fuck, itâs like getting picked last for kickball. Or worse, not getting picked at all.Â
Cliff wasnât born a 6â3â sex god. His growth spurt hit late, at thirteen. Years of bullying had left his heart tender in places, and seeing that blank page under Haasâs name aches something awful, like digging your thumb into a yellowed bruise.Â
Haas has been hiding out in a corner all night, not making eye contact with anyone, like heâd rather be anywhere else. Heâs offered up his heart and body (which, objectively speaking, seems⌠pretty fucking solid) for a good cause, and nobody wants him enough to challenge his weirdly overprotective captain. The poor kid is gonna be crushed.
So Cliff waitsâuntil his head is swimming with champagne, Roz has mysteriously disappeared, and Hollanderâs mother is collecting the bid sheets as the ballroom empties out. Before she can snatch up Lucaâs sheet, Cliff darts forward and puts pen to paper.
Cliff Marlow. $50k.
Something loosens in his chest.
Mrs. Hollander smiles kindly at him as she picks up the sheet. âEnjoy your date!âÂ
Right. Now heâs got to go on a date. Cliff is suddenly dizzy, blinking up at the too-bright ballroom lights and adjusting his too-tight bowtie for a long minute until thereâs a tap on his shoulder. He turns around.
âHi, handsome,â says Luca Haas, and Cliff promptly forgets how to breathe.
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luca learns how to ride from watching shane ride ilya and he uses that with cliff
cliff is stunned, wondering if lucaâs been studying p*rn. but he hasnât been, not in the sense that cliff might think; heâs been studying the two men who made him who he is, wondering what he could use on his own boyfriend. he wants to do so well, he wants to do it skillfully like shane does. but cliff isnât quite as big as ilya, so that might prove to be a new challenge. luca isnât gonna let that stop him, though
and heâs a star. he knows what heâs doing, despite having no experience with it. cliff doesnât know what to do with himself, except watch his pretty boyfriend riding his dick like heâs been doing it for ten years. he strokes lucaâs cock, looking up at him with stars & hearts in his eyes, his teeth sinking into his lower lip as he bites back a moan
âyouâre so good, baby boy. so good for me. you take all of me so wellâ
and luca is completely addicted to that praise. he doesnât know what to do with himself now, either. all he knows to do is go faster, harder, just the way he learned from shane & ilya
cliff swears he might cum on the spot when luca pins him down, though. another trick he learned in the shane & ilya guidebook