ritual

that is actually my main principle of explicit fic is that the personalities stay On during sex.

The amount of times I’ve read scenes in explicit fics and thought “they would not say that shit”

meows loud as fuck shattering all glass within 3 miles no survivors

nip over to troy, bit of rough and tumble, big horse, bish bash bosh, back home to ithaca. simple as

I’m kind of miserable and it feels permanent but its whatever

Look if a garment is like. Wool or silk. And it’s like, don’t put me in the fucking wash. I’m like yeah of course ma’am I shall lightly dab you with a damp cloth and air you out so you don’t get stinky. But when a polyester garment is like “hand wash only” I’m like who the FUCK do you think you are. You’re plastic. Get in the drum.

they should invent a secret second weekend so that you can see friends and do fun things while still having enough time to do errands and sleep in without dying of exhaustion all the time

someone at work told me 'oh, just ask chat' when i raised a casual question and i asked what she meant and she said 'you know, chatgpt' like im an idiot. and i should get an award for the fact that i did not start snarling and biting and killing

I think that when you're overstimulated you should appear kind of grayed out and no one should be able to interact with you like a locked character in a video game

"um this song is actually about masturbation!!!!!!!!" aw thats so scary :( do you wanna call your mummy (remembers how americans read that) do you wanna call your strong as fuck ice mummy

Yelling “we got company” right before being attacked by a horde of enemies probably feels good as fuck for an action protagonist

Asking "why would a billionaire bother to steal your money?" is like asking "why would the guy sitting on an ever-growing mountain of teeth want to steal your teeth?"

are you five nights at fucking kidding me