more people have been to russia than i have

why am i dressed slutty you ask? to read classic literature alone in my room. mind your own business.

AAA video game publisher voice: "Look. The goose layed a golden egg, and that's nice! Everyone loved that egg. But keeping the golden goose means paying for bird feed and I don't want to, so I killed the goose."

See and NOW i'm in the buffy season 2->season 5 rabbit hole, which is infinite. thinking about how she tangibly fails giles by waiting to kill angel: she protects her heart for just a few extra weeks, and so destroys his, and after that their adult/child dynamic is shifted forever. After that she understands herself as the final arbiter of every fate-of-the-world back-to-the-wall decision. Never again will she throw a tantrum like she did in the Season 1 finale, demanding that he construct a different reality, that he make something be Not Her Job. After Jenny dies Buffy knows she is responsible for Giles, not the other way around. The bargain she makes in the season 2 finale is for his life, and the resolve she finally finds in herself that Angel will die by her sword is in no small part for him. Buffy doesn't really mourn Jenny Calendar! But she knows by hesitating she cost Giles something that she'll never be able to get back for him, and she will not hesitate again. And she doesn't hesitate again, and what she does in the Season 5 finale is not hesitation. She doesn't argue with Giles in the runup to the Season 5 finale. She doesn't throw a tantrum. She doesn't throw a book of prophecy at him. She doesn't beg him to find a solution. She doesn't do any of these things because she figured out a long time ago that what happens is not up to him, it is up to her, and so what she does instead is inform him of what is going to happen. The last thing she'll see is me defending her. You try and hurt her and you know I'll stop you. And we could talk for a couple pages worth of text about how buffy gets from the person who stabs angel through the heart in season 2 to the person who says this, and some of us have already done so, but right now I'm just on the fact that it's Giles saying it to her. Saying it's your job to kill her. The fact that Giles never has another serious relationship after Jenny is so key to this analysis by the way. No one recovers from anything. The cost is forever. And if she hadn't found her loophole she'd have let Giles die for this, and that would be forever too. She looks him in the eye and says dawn's life over yours, no question. A couple extra minutes of Dawn's life for yours. After she pulled a punch and it cost him his heart, and then she ripped up her own to follow the next one all the way through, three years later, he tells her this is what it is your job to do, and she looks him in the eye and says, no.

#this does not count as her asking for time the way she did with angel. for the record. #because she is straight up saying no literally fuck the world and my entire sacred duty. i'm not doing this at all. #she's not flinching from the call. she's looking it in the eye and flipping it off. #and the whole point here is that by season 5 she understands that she simply gets to make that call and absolutely nobody can stop her. (tags op's)

me and my mutuals reblogging tumblr posts

(no money voice) I have to go skiing I have to go scuba diving I have to buy and repair a vintage bicycle I have to get into makeup art I have to become a pet owner I have to get a tattoo I have to book a flight to another island I have to treat my friends to dinner I have to bet on losing dogs

RPF stands for oneof the most beautiful things in the world... rice Plus furikake