Benevolent Bitch of the East

Here’s my piece for ‘narrative parallels’ with Erin and Alinua

Tfw you’re a eldritch god’s favourite princess

This has been a running joke for two years now. All the kids know the plastic turtle outside the school is my husband. He doesn't have a name, just Miss Cat's husband.

Today was really windy, and the turtle dude fell over. I was taking a kid out to his mom, and he saw it on the ground and went, "Oh look, your husband died."

So I said, "Oh darn. Looks like I'm single again."

And without skipping a beat, he goes, "I'll be your husband."

Mom is standing there trying not to laugh as I got down on my knees, took the kid's hands in mine, and said, "Thanks for the offer, bud, but no thank you. We'll just pick that guy up so he can start being my husband again."

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ a

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ tiger

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ defying

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ the 

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ laws

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ of

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ G

 ｡･ﾟ･*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ☆ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗR

･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･ﾟ･*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ☆ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗA 

 ☆ ｡･ﾟ･*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ☆  ｡･ﾟ･*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ☆  ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗV

 ｡･ﾟ･*:･ ･ﾟ☆  ｡･ﾟ･*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･ﾟ･*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ☆ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗI

:･ﾟ☆ ｡･ﾟ･*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ☆  ｡･ﾟ･*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･ﾟ･*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ☆ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗT

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ A

==ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ RACING

====ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ CAR

======ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ PASSING

=========ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ BY

===========ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ LIKE

=============ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ LADY

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ go 

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ go 

Person on screen: needs a couple pats of butter, a splash of olive oil, simmered on low with a bay leaf and a cinnamon stick. What?! You never seen a boy who knows his way around the kitchen? 

Yeah my mom always wanted a little girl but she got stuck with me instead. That wasn’t gonna stop her though so all my friends were opening up nerf guns and bmx bikes on their birthday, I was getting crockpots. 

(scene changes to the person dressed in a nice black suit jacket, bright pink dress shirt, and black tie) Yeah laugh it up! Take a picture while you’re at it 'cause this is the last time you’ll ever see me in a suit! How do boys wear these things??

It’s the final few days of the Bluminarmour Project! After some issues with Kickstarter let’s see how far we can get!

If you want to see fantasy tropes, historical movement and silly tricks tested in authentic full plate armour, please consider chucking a few quid over (or like and share this post):

Kickstarter removed my highest funding tier so I lost £11k of funding since earlier today.

BUT

You are revolutionary and beautiful simply by existing. You are made of magic and share it wherever you go. Your whimsy, your fire, and your compassion can change the world. Stand firm for yourself and your community.

Even if you don't feel safe to express who you are yet, know that you are safe with me--whoever you are is what I will see. Even if all you can do right now is internally accept yourself, that is still an incredibly important step. There is always a place for you, whether you find that place or create that place.

Take up space! Experiment! Be silly, or be refined. Be loud, or be quiet. Be colorful, or be monochrome.

Be.

If you're looking for a sign, this is it. Remember what Pride stands for: fighting for the right to self-determine, the right to live your truth without persecution, and the right to openly love who you are. It is never too late to start.

Come join me in the grand tradition of breaking the mold--because what about us was ever going to fit expectations, anyway?