Secrets from Whole Cloth @secretsfromwholecloth - Tumblr Blog

New URL because reasons. brightoncemore -> secretsfromwholecloth

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armengoldira

wormnextdoor

i love queerplatonic relationships where one of them is aroace and the other isn't. i love when the allo character has a crush that fades over time. i love when they don't care what they are to each other as long as they're together. i love when romance is an option that they don't choose. i love when both aros and allos feel fulfilled without romance or sex.

goldensunset

>‘this thing is too generic and tropey’

>look inside

>forefather of that genre

firestorm09890

d1sapp01ntm3nt

picking up my favorite characters like this and carrying them around with me

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sergeifyodorov

I don't read as much fic as I used to but one "tell" for non Canadians writing us, besides the etransfer, is the units you use to describe us measuring something. I hate to tell you this but The Chart is real and it's completely subconscious. Please abide

demotu-writes

ETA the chart (or at least a version of it):

ETA2: we do use inches/miles in poetic ways ("he was lost in thought/miles away" or "his lips were a bare inch away").

Also, the length of a dick is in inches for SURE.

fake-married-my-dead-fiance

I still remember this French exchange student who came to Canada and said to me in exasperation, "I thought you did metric!" We do, just not always.

The thing is, I'd say we are bilingual in measurements, but I can only do my height in inches and feet, cm and meters mean nothing to me if it's a human. I have to convert with math (I do know my own height in both). If I'm told a human's weight in kg I have literally no picture in my head of how they might look. Tell me in pounds and I'm good. Tell me the day's temperature in F and I won't know how to dress. Has to be C

We really do measure travel distances in time. I live 2 and a half hours away from my parents. No idea how many kms. That's not important. The important part is the time.

If I will defend anything imperial, it's cups and spoons. Best way to bake in my humble opinion. Trying to bake in metric has too many hundreds of ml.

coldswarkids

you are a woman in a fantasy book written by a man. choose your personality trait

PETITE but super strong (defeats men easily 3x your size)

crosses arms across breasts / yanks braid in irritation

has giant sexy bazongers (that are sooooo inconvenient for archery)

"ugh, MEN" (acts in completely irrational manner)

only female character among cast of 3,000 men

see male protagonist > i must bone him immediately

written to "defeat sexist tropes" but is just written as a man instead

not like the OTHER girls (tucks hair behind ears)

damsel in distress (faints dramatically) ooohhhhh

Remaining time: 4 days 23 hours

#I mean my workplace is about 110 cis men and me so I could do the only female character among 3000 men thing in my sleep

decadent-trans-girl

'why is so much politically-focused genre fiction centred on monarchies' many reasons, but one which I think deserves attention: monarchy is an obvious way of tying together the dysfunctions of the domestic to those of the state

beemovieerotica

thatsmimi

These folks are cosplaying as the characters from Romance of the Three Kingdoms. The guy with the sword is Emperor Liu Bei. His horse is guided by Guan Yu, his military general, and the sword Liu Bei uses is Guan Yu's signature weapon. It's also worth noting that Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei (who's not depicted here) famously sworn in a brotherly bond and refers to each other as brothers.

The horse following him is ZhuGe Liang, Liu Bei's advisor (you know because he's wielding a fan, which is his signature... tool, some games shows him use it as a weapon).

Also throughout this whole thing they're speaking mock archaic Chinese extremely badly.

Translation:

Liu Bei: I shall borrow the power of Guan Yu's sword! *Smacks the balls*

ZhuGe Liang: Your Majesty, this shot was dopeth as fuck! *Uses his fan to push a ball in* - Liu Bei: Ball #3 goes in the top left hole. *Scores correctly* ZhuGe Liang: Your Majesty, why is your sword so rusty? Liu Bei: This is the Blade of Tetanus! Ha ha ha. - Guan Yu: Big Brother, the horse seems hungry. *puts some hay on the table so the horse shoves all the balls into the hole as it eats* Liu Bei: What a good horse Di Lu (Liu Bei's horse) is! Scored so beautifully, how timely it knew to be hungry!

The bottom caption reads: Dangerous moves, do not copy. Fictional acting, for entertainment purposes only, not to be seen as bad influence

barananduen-blog

CDRAMA POLL: PRIMARY REASON FOR WATCHING

This is about aspects that are intrinsic to the drama. So, not "for escapism" and other reasons that are related to your life.

FAQ: "Where's the nuance button?" A: There's no nuance / combination button. You have to choose ONE. :[ [*]

We pretty much know how it is on MyDramaList, but how is it on Tumblr?

Which is the primary reason you watch CDramas?

The romance / character relationship (includes bro/sismance, friendship, etc.)

I mostly just watch dramas that have my fav. actor/actress

The visuals (excludes the previous two)

The plot (excludes romantic or -ship plot)

[Results button / I don't watch cdramas]

Remaining time: 6 days 1 hour

[*] If you're nuance/combination, pick the most common one, or the most compelling for you, or the one you'd keep if you just HAD to lose the other. If, on the other hand, you have a different individual reason that is not combination/nuance, and that is intrinsic to the drama, then choose the Results button and add it in a reblog or a comment.

🔁If you're in cdrama-tumblr, please reblog to help get a bigger sample size! 🙏

#a little from column B and a little from column D #oh if we're not limited to romance then a little from column A too #like it *really* depends on the specific drama to a degree where I don't think I can meaningfully vote in this

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homophobla

Twice a year in Hawaii the sun passes directly overhead and objects cast no shadow. It’s a phenomenon called “Lahaina Noon”

phoenix-theurge

You're full of shit, Hawaiians are just able to levitate coconut milk.

onecells

YOU🫵'RE 🫵 NE->XT.!! moTHERFUCKER!!!!

GET LOVED!!!!!!!!!!

pipluprox

Infographic I just made about how the letter Aleph has gotten around

Might do this for the other semitic letters at some point

This is technically a slight oversimplification, South Arabian was derived from Proto-Semitic and not Phoenician, but it's close enough that I don't think I'm going to change it. I'll note it here though for anybody interested. If I make more of these I'll reblog this post with them.

ecosmowarrior

yeah languages are weird. in english you can say "i'm wiped out!" and you can say "i'm pooped!" but you can't say "i'm pooped out!" because that already means something else. many such cases

my classroom of 20 adolescent green aliens: [furiously taking notes]

the alien sitting in the back right corner: [sighs and stares out the window]

the alien sitting in the back left corner: [draws stylized alien compound eyes]

im-a-goat-in-disguise

Did you know? Tumblr DOES have a post length limit. Strangely, though, it's based on how many blocks of text you have. Supposedly this implies that you can have any length post so long as it's one block of text? Very strange, will have to investigate further.

im-a-goat-in-disguise

Two limits! You can have a maximum of 4,096,000 characters in 1 [one] tumblr post. I would work out how many combinations this is, but 26^6,000 is already considered to be "Infinity" by most calculators, and a program I wrote threw an error code.

26^95,000 is already over 134,000 characters long - which would take 33 different text blocks to convey via tumblr. Whenever somebody says we're running out of posts, don't forget that tumblr is needlessly designed for MASSIVE amounts of information [no matter how detrimental it may be for mobile phones].

There are SOME works of fanfiction which are lengthy enough that you couldn't fit the whole thing into one tumblr post, but this is enough to fit Hitchikers Guide To The Galaxy in it about 14 times over.

im-a-goat-in-disguise

Don't hide that in the tags

thewolfofthestars

The Lord of the Rings is generally my go-to measuring stick for "long-ass pieces of text", so I must additionally point out that, if written out optimally, about 2 full Lord of the Ringses would fit into one Tumblr post, apparently.

Though I'm not certain if that character count includes spaces, unfortunately, as I got that figure by googling "how many letters are in lord of the rings" and came upon a TikTok that counted the number of letter characters in LotR in order to figure out how many Spaghettios cans would be needed to re-write the entire thing, if one were to cut and paste each individual letter from the cans blackmail-letter style.

For those curious, the numbers are 2,261,081 letters in LotR, which calculates out to 8,795 cans of Spaghettios needed, which would cost about $12,225.

What a way to start my day. The internet truly is a beautiful place.

Hey! Guy who programmed most of the core pieces of the editor here!

So, those are the theoretical limits, yeah. But in practice, the editor is not even close to be optimized to handle these kinds of huge posts: there is a point, far far away from the size of the lord of the rings, that your browser would just crash.

So if you are planning to post long fanfiction, or anything, you better work on something that's optimized for long form (locally, or some alternative to Google docs) and then post in chunks.

So no, Tumblr is not designed to support these massive posts. It's theoretically possible, but that never was a real scenario we were trying to support

sztupy

Editor crashes? No problem, I'm sure you can do that through the API though

I'm honestly very curious of what it would happen if someone tries something like using the API to post the entire Lord Of The Rings. I would assume the request would timeout, but it would be a cool test to run. Anyway, if it works, anyone trying to reblog that post would just insta-kill their browser :D

sztupy

IT WORKED!

💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 0 · J. R. R. Tolkien The Lord Of The Rings. (1/4) ----------------------------------------------- THE LORD OF THE RINGS by J.

(okay this is just the first book, let me see if I can do all three)

oh yeah, almost a million characters, 365 text blocks, and the editor is handling it pretty well

Honestly, it works way better than I expected! I guess being plain text and not having to render any fancy formatting is enough for a modern browser to handle it well. Reblogging it took a few more seconds than usual, but went through too. Good job tumblr!

sztupy

Here's the entire one, all 3 books + appendices:

💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 0 · J. R. R. Tolkien — The Lord Of The Rings. (1/4) ----------------------------------------------- THE LORD OF THE RINGS by J.

The API did return a 500 when trying to upload BUT it actually did upload

willcodehtmlforfood

yapping-migrant

opening @full-lotr-test makes the app crash, I need to check on PC 👀

I just tested on my Android phone and it froze the app for about 30 seconds, but when I thought it was going to finally crash, it actually loaded the blog and started working normally

Btw, @sztupy, have you tried to edit the post? Does it work??

sztupy

Yes, someone asked me to add a tag so they can filter it out, and I tried that over from the web interface.

For the first post (first book only) there was no issue. Edit loaded, I could add the tag, press Save and done. Note: this was on a PC using Chrome

For the second post (all three books) it worked the same way as the API. I could load up the page and edit it, but when pressing save I'd get an error message. However the edit did go through actually and the tag is now there.

Haven't tried to edit the text itself, but don't think it would make a difference - if your browser can load it'd just work.

(On mobile on a low/mid-range Android the App could open up the post without problems, but haven't tried editing. Using a mobile browser - Firefox in my case - the page could load but it was super slow, and buggy, and it also did crash once)

Also as a public service announcement: if you want to filter the post out from your dash the tag is #full-lotr-test

Also if anyone is interested I loaded up the entire LOTR trilogy in TXT file, then wrote a code that split it out into NPF (Neue Post Format, you know the new PDF or whatever) blocks of at most 4000 characters, then simply called the Create Post API with the resulting NPF block. I believe there's around 900 blocks in the second post above, each block containing somewhere between 3000-4000 characters, so close to the theoretical limit

That's interesting, opening it in the editor means that you don't only have the rendered html version, but also the JSON object containing all the blocks. I would expect it to at least stutter a little.

I tested it again from the android app, and scrolling through the post is really painful: it freezes the app for a few seconds every time you scroll an entire screen... So yeah, I think it would take hours to scroll through the entire thing . So anyone reblogging it is probably earning an unfollow from their beloved mutuals if they want to be able to use Tumblr at all that day 😁

headspace-hotel

Spell of "makes all your followers unfollow you"

surprisingly functional web site

just-a-little-belle

@millenniallust4death

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prokopetz

I know it's not great from, like, a Being Functional Or Secure standpoint, but aesthetically I kind of love how websites for banks and universities and government agencies and such just sort of accrete layer upon layer of technologies without ever taking the lower layers out of the stack, and if you need to do something sufficiently obscure eventually you'll break through to some Web 1.0-looking form with a "Last Modified" footer whose timestamp isn't part of this millennium.

eaglehorn

And that’s just the parts of the stack on the web.

On the back end, I can almost guarantee you’re working with a mainframe that’s at least 50 years old.

next-of-kith

…a mainframe that still does exactly what it was designed to do despite having seen half a century go by, and that exactly one (1) septuagenarian knows how to keep from melting or exploding or some shit on a weekly basis

corporate won't pay somebody to replace the mainframe with a few lines of code on a linux box, not because anybody up there really understands the complexity of that task, but because "it still works and updates would cost money". although there is still the (correct) impression even at that level that the mainframe is doing something Vitally Important, only that one guy can maybe tell you what, and the only person who ever fully understood how has been dead since the Bush administration.

prokopetz

Strictly speaking, "ultimate" means "last", not "best". It's often figuratively employed in the latter sense to suggest that the thing so described is the final word on the subject, after which nothing more need be said, but if we're being real technical, describing a game or movie that was so bad it killed its entire franchise as the "ultimate" is in fact correct.

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