James: Isn’t it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they’re annoying?
James: Like damn, if people did that to other people I would have died years ago.
My dearest James, you would not exist.
wallacepolsom
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Stranger Things
$LAYYYTER
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The Bowery Presents
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

oozey mess

Origami Around
we're not kids anymore.

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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
trying on a metaphor
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@righthandofloki
James: Isn’t it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they’re annoying?
James: Like damn, if people did that to other people I would have died years ago.
My dearest James, you would not exist.

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Me: Hey, did anyone sanitize the groceries?
Mom: No.
Me: Why didn't you?
Mom: Why should we?
Me: Umm... PANDEMIC?
Dad, sarcastically: There is no pandemic.
Me, unable to resist: ........ There is no pandemic in Ba Sing Se.
the most unrealistic thing about harry potter
is that no teacher ever called him James by accident, or that Ron never was called “Bill-, eh Charl-, no Per-, argh!”
As a younger sister who knows this struggle all too well: THIS IS REAL. Pretty sure 70% of my past teachers still think I’m called what my sister is called in fact.
Imagine Fred being called Percy by McGonagall accidentally and then he gets so offended that he refers to her by “Professor [insert any other name but McGonagall” for the rest of the year, costing Gryffindor a considerable amount of points one at a time.
From then on, she vows to just call them all Mr Weasley.
Until Ginny comes along and she calls her Mr Weasley by accident and Ginny “accidentally’ calls her Sir and it starts again.
It’s lightly off-topic but also slightly relevant but I have long cherished this mental image of Professor Snape saying something snappish to Harry in just the wrong tone of voice and Harry absentmindedly, wearily, and completely accidentally responding with, “Yes, Aunt Petunia.”
which would have all kinds of additional ramifications when you remember snape is the only one who knew petunia personally
He asks Harry to stay after class and straight up asks him “Am I truly that unpleasant?”
Okay, okay, okay, this is probably deeply off-track, but all I can think of is Harry––who upon learning that Snape, of all people, his pain in the neck potions professor knows his aunt––has now received what can only be called a psychic punch to balls.
How, how, how, is a teenage boy supposed to rectify this, mentally? Connect these strange unjoined worlds to somehow explain that Snape––Snape!––knows his Aunt Petunia?
“It doesn’t make any sense, mate,” Harry tells Ron, blearily, desperately wishing at age thirteen years that his butter beer was a real beer. “It just––it can’t be. Why would he know Aunt Petunia?” Ron grimaces. “Why would he want to? I mean, I know he’s Snape, and all that, but––”
Harry writes his only letter back to #4 Privet Drive, dotted with tears, and it has one line: How do you know Severus Snape?
Petunia writes back: DO NOT MENTION THAT MAN EVER AGAIN.
And this. This. Sparks a light in Harry’s head. This is the same way Petunia talks about celebrities who have deeply, personally offended her. Usually when she fancied them and then they got married. It’s so completely clear to him, now: Snape is deeply, irrevocably, utterly in love with Aunt Petunia.
Keep reading
The writing quality takes a nosedive, though.
Peter P: *eating a cinnamon roll*
Natasha: cannibalism.
Peter P: *confused chewing noises*

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reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)
OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.
THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.
The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.
AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.
THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.
YOOOOOOO
I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS
LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL
IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS
holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS.
I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT
SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP
WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????
ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE
THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.
GUYS.
HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER
20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.
GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.
I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.
OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG
this is my favourite thing
OKAY SO MY WISHES ALWAYS COME TRUE BC OF THIS HOLY SHIT
This really worked I wished for an iPhone 6 and I got a fucking iPhone 6
HOLY SHIT IT ACTUALLY WORKED
@fuck-yo-feelingsss OMGG FATIMA MY WISH IS GONNA COME TRUE 😂😂
BLISSFOLLY
THIS WORKS, IVE USED IT SO MANY TIMES AND ONLY REALISE IT WORKS NOW THAT I LOOK BACK AND SEE HOW THINGS WORKED OUT OMF
Yo. This actually works lol
Reblog forever.
Peter, curled up on couch: *crying*
Tony, walking into room: Hey, Pete, what's wrong, bud?
Peter, uncurling: Oh... Um, nothing, perfectly fiiiiinnnnneee!
Tony, raises eyebrows: Why are your eyes red?
Peter: Oh. Yeah, I got punched in the face... with... Uh... Saaaallllt.
Tony, squinting: ...
Peter: ...
Tony, squinting harder: ...
Peter:...
Tony, face contorted into the biggest squint ever: ...
Peter: OKAY. *deep breaths* I... I... *swallows* My.... My *murmurs* got a hole in them...
Tony: What?
Peter: *sobs uncontrollably*
Tony, hugs Peter: It's okay Pete, we'll get through this. It'll be okay, I promise.
Peter: B-but... They were Limited Edition...
Tony: What was? Pete, you have to tell me so I can help you. What's wrong Pete, please, I just need to understand what's going on.
Peter, deep breath: ...
Tony, staring: ...
Peter: ...
Tony, staring intently: ...
Peter: OKAY! I'll tell you. Just... Don't laugh. It's really depressing for me and I don't think I'll be able to recover.
Tony: I'm listening, bud.
Peter: Okay... M.... *swallows* Myironmanpjsgotaholeinthemandtheydon'tmakethoseanymoresothey'reruinedforeverandi'llneverbeabletousethemeveragaaaaiiiinnnnn!!! *sobs loudly* I.. I just. It's like your soul was crushed, ya know? I'm so sorry...
Tony, calling 43 therapists: Yeah, hi, so I've got this fifteen year-old boy here...
shoutout to those random peacocks you find in places that are probably unsuitable for a peacock to inhabit in the first place
what the fuck kinds of lives are you guys leading. i’ve never seen a peacock in my life. where are u guys finding them.
Random neighborhoods in Florida
a gas station in morocco
middle of a busy road in england
middle of the woods in a rural town in Mississippi
Irish farms??
Roof of a house in a tiny English village
Screaming their heads off in abandoned fuel stations in the back-blocks of the Rangitikei
with a group of pheasants in the woods in maryland
Strutting outside the window of an elementary school library in Texas.
Walking down the street of a California suburb on a hot summer afternoon like he owns the place
At a golf club in Long Island
At a strawberry festival in SoCal
Outside a café in Ayia Napa
Walking thru my neighborhood in nebraska
watching over fish near a pond in switzerland
Roaming free in the New Orleans zoo. Not part of an exhibit or anything. Just strutting around being peacocks.
Roaming around the side of the road in the rural part of indio
Side of a quiet road on the Central Coast, NSW, Australia
Chasing random cabbies on the road in Singapore
Chilling by a pond in Pennsylvania
Chilling by your hot tub in Northern Illinois
Displaying for my car as I learn to drive on the dirt roads in pennsylvania.
Bossing around the goats in a petting zoo in Victoria, B.C., Canada.
Random castles in Austria.
Flirting inappropriately with a chicken on the Isle of Wight
screeching on rooftop in rural france
Perched on a “Do Not Feed The Ducks” sign in the grounds of an English castle (Bodiam IIRC).
In a neighbor’s yard in Portland Oregon screaming what sounds like “help, help!” at the top of its birdie lungs.
Out back of a seafood restaurant in TX on the Gulf Coast
Living in my backyard in GA for about a year and a half before disappearing along with a litter of kittens
A horse farm in Ohio
Walking alongside the road in Ohio.
GOD’S GRACE …..
Okay but however amazing FFH was aside, on top of now having his identity released to the public Peter is also going through some serious PTSD from having his mind screwed with so many times. It doesn’t get shown much in the movie but you can see it when he asks Happy if it’s really him and how he almost doesn’t trust anything going on around him, even after Mysterio is dead. I really hope that I’m not the only one who noticed.
You’re not the only one who noticed. He looked so scared and small...

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Peter: *hands fidget* Mr. Stark, I have something I need to tell you.
Tony, concerned: Yeah, kid, what’s up?
Peter: I… I think I may have an addiction.
Tony: Peter, I’m so glad you came to me. We’re going to get through this and you’re going to be ok. I just need to know what you’re struggling with. Is it alcohol, painkillers, coc-
Peter: Chapstick!
Tony: …
Peter: …
Tony: …Chapstick?
Peter: Yes. I’m so sorry I really didn’t mean for this to happen!
Tony: *kneads forehead* Kid, you cant get addicted to chapstick.
Peter: BuT It’S MeDIcaTED!!!
Tony: *groans* that’s not the way it wor-
Peter, sobbing: I JUST LOVE THE WAY IT MAKES MY LIPS TINGLE
Please. MORE.
tony: alright kid, you’re an avenger now.
peter:
😂😂😂😂😂😂200% accurate
Credit to owner.
Me when Peter Parker does anything remotely adorable

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Tom Holland being a relatable idiot.