stay whelmed

it’s true though that kids are often either like 1) not picking up on it or are just kind of like 2) okay yikes anyway! then moving on when it comes to stuff they read. like thinking back about it I was reading straight up unfiltered greek mythology when I was like nine and just accepted a lot of stuff real fast

yeah it truly is like if you read greek mythology/arabian nights/king arthur/the Bible as a child you get cool with a lot of intense stuff VERY quickly. like hm didn’t know people could do that to each other. anyway next chapter!

was waiting on an emergency plumber, decided to smoke by my car instead of stare at my fucked up kitchen. he pulled up next to me, leaned out the window and goes "i'm assuming you're the client" like yeah buddy, read that one right

honorary best friend, mike the plumber, has saved the day. "don't worry, i've got pvc couplings you've probably never even seen before." brother, i wasn't aware that was something i could worry about

MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE

Everyone who makes ads withs those tiny "close" buttons that make you click on the ad instead of closing it deserves to burn in whatever hell is available to them in all eternity.

they got married btw

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!