requiem for the dead, nightmare for the living

You just hate me because the patterns on my clothes move around like they do on chowder and yours don’t

omg finally

i’m going to blow up everything forever.

back in the day if you made a meme you would be forced to go on ellen

a guy shoots at me with a sniper rifle and I catch the bullet in my teeth and eat it, but he saw that coming and put poison in the bullet, but I saw that coming and drank an antidote ahead of time, but all those weird chemicals still give me a really bad kidney stone a few days later and I pass out from pain and crash my car into, by pure coincidence, the sniper

severely deficient in whatever vitamin makes u a person

Yeah sorry I can't come into work today. I accidentally heard Primadonna by Marina formerly of and the Diamonds. So I need the day to be a primadonna girl. Yeah it's going to be the whole day.

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of