i ♥ burnt coffee

imagine you were just hospitalized for severe depression and psychosis and you've been prescribed meds that aren't helping and you haven't told anyone, not even your own sisters, how badly you've been struggling. but you're trying new meds again and you've been looking forward to this getaway with your friends where everyone can forget about their real problems for a few days and just have fun. you spend the first night partying with your friends and then you go off and have more drinks with your best friend who you haven't seen as much since you've started college and maybe the two of you get a little carried away. you don't know how long you've been passed out but when you wake up, your little sisters are gone and all your friends are panicked and terrified and no one will give you a straight answer about what happened, or maybe they're trying to explain but you're still drunk and you can barely walk, let alone go searching for your sisters, your baby sisters, out in the freezing dark snow. the sun comes up and your sisters are still missing. you've sobered up by the time the police arrive and so you have to hear your friends, the people you trusted, tell the officers about the cruel prank they pulled on your naive sister who just wanted to be liked. you brought these people into your family's home, you introduced them to your sisters, you were passed out drunk when they needed you the most and you couldn't save them. they're missing and they're probably dead and your parents won't say it but they wish it had been you instead, you were the one who was supposed to die. the meds weren't working before but they're only making things worse now so you stop taking them and you stop going to therapy and your sisters are still missing and you can't trust anyone anymore and then an idea strikes you. a way to make them pay, a way to make them understand your pain. their pain will only be temporary, not real, not like yours. your pain will never end. not in this lifetime

I dontr think im fit to be around anymore i just want to JO 1 last time and sleep forever more