My gf loves playing with my dick in bed because it's "like a little fidget toy"

Normal sized fidget toy

girl is that a knife in your hand or are you jerking off your sharp detachable penis in my stomach

coming back to life just to have the freakiest sex possible with the guy that killed me

not all your fave blorbos can be masochists some of those fuckers gotta enjoy beating the shit out of someone during sex

the unstoppable force is tonguing the immovable object and it seems to be enjoying the experience

fool me once shame on you. fool me twice shame on me. fool me three times this has gotta be a sex thing for at least one of us

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.

Yes, that’s a gun in my pants. No, I’m not happy to see you.

thats just the way the pussy crumbles

please see a gynecologist

you would think, like, "oh, we've already thought of all the metaphorical ways we can say penis/vagina. we've already come up with the full list of nicknames. we have exhausted the list of innuendos. there is nothing else new to be said about this" and then you'll open a random explicit fic and make the most improbable linguistic discovery of all time

would you like to share with the class 🤔

saw the term "gummy walls" last night and had to sit alone with god for a minute

would you like to unshare with the class