im tryign so hard

accidentally typed in "guthub" instead of "github" and briefly existed in a marvelous world with a website you could download open-source microbiomes for your intestines

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

giving wicked handjobs with my wicked hands

Nothing has done quite so much damage to my internal vocabulary as the construction #MyNoun. I don't remember if it was from that "tour of my jar, this is my twig #MyTwig" or if it was from "inappropriate attachment to objects, my tuube #MyTuube" but either way it was one of you fuckers on here. I do it every time there's my noun #MyNoun

Sleeping poorly is so embarrassing... sorry im grumpy I stayed up past my bedtime. Like a toddler

blocking people because they draw my favourite characters with a sixpack

first of all im gay second i hate taylor swift