im tryign so hard

if i can be honest if i saw an elf i would hesistate. elves are straight up not normal to see. i would be shocked for a while.

i see a curved penis and i want to fix that shit. it's not that it's gross i just bet an hour in a bench vice would make that shit shoot straight. i wanna comically spin the handle and wrench it tight with the skill of a shop teacher that's been doing this for years. safety goggles on. heavy duty gloves. op! be careful of the clenching back there. that's how Ms. Paradise lost a pinky in college.

girl why is your pussy trying to take me on the road less traveled. fucking that thing i hear google maps say "exit left." trying to hit your spot but your pussy said that's not part of the guided tour. your shit is so twisted the people's joker took it to her doctor saying "like this please." I KNOW she WILL be comin around the mountain when she comes! i always wanted a girl who turned heads, but this is ridiculous!!!

seeing guys naked just never gets old

wound dressings and bandages are lingerie for the enlightened pervert

its weird they made your wallet such a classic thing to forget since oyu basically need it where youre gonna be going

they told me not to get lost in the weeds, but these are lush, beautiful, and ecologically necessary native plants so it's probably fine

At the sex shop asking if I can buy a regular sized dildo I can put in my unremarkable asshole but they recognize me as the hero of legend regardless