Busy doing poltergeist shit to the cops.

i originally reblogged this post, but since staff took it down you can't fucking see my reblog anymore. well i liked this comic, i want it on my blog, and it does not include any fucking nudity. especially compared to all the straight up porn staff allows to go free

so here it is

untitled by Pas (paxiti), all pages from May 23, 2018 to June 22, 2023

it would be so awesome

signs of a healthy friendship w/ an adult:

they don’t do the obvious predatory things; they don’t send you sexual content or ask you sexual questions, they don’t tell you that you don’t “seem” like a minor, they don’t start inappropriate conversations

they don’t do the less obvious predatory things; they don’t ask you to keep secrets or try to isolate you from others or ask inappropriate favors or use you as a key source of emotional support*

you’d be comfortable with your parents seeing your conversations (or, if you can’t trust your parents, you’d be comfortable with a trusted adult seeing your conversations)

they’d be comfortable with your interactions being shown to people; they don’t ask you to ‘hide’ anything

they set clear boundaries; they tell you when they’re not comfortable offering guidance, when they’re uncomfortable with a conversation in general, etc.

they respect YOUR boundaries; they drop or redirect conversations when asked, they don’t ask for invasive details about trauma or your living situation, etc

you aren’t nervous about telling them when you’re uncomfortable - or at least, you aren’t more nervous than you are with anyone else. some ppl have anxiety disorders or struggle to articulate discomfort, i get it

on that note, you shouldn’t feel more anxious or nervous around them than you do around other trusted adults.  

you don’t need to have a Reason for the nervousness - sometimes a person’s intensity or conversational style is just stressful.  the same might happen w/ peers your age.  a beneficial friendship shouldn’t make you feel consistently tense/on edge, even if the other party hasn’t done anything “wrong”

(people don’t need to Commit A Transgression for you to want to stop interacting with them.  if they’re not making your life better, you don’t need to keep them in your life.)

your friendship is based around mutual interests - fandoms you enjoy, creative work you’re doing, hobbies you share, etc.  you both have an equal interest in the things you talk about, & your conversations focus on common ground between you

you’d be comfortable with them interacting with others in your life - peers your age and trusted adults.

they are respectful of you as a person; they act with appropriate awareness of your age, but they don’t condescend to you or tell you they wish you were older or treat you like an infant they’re in charge of babysitting. basically, they aren’t an asshole.

if they are comfortable being asked for emotional support or guidance (not all adults are!), they offer advice and support from the perspective of a mentor, rather than the type of support you’d expect from a peer your age.  they’ll also tell you when they don’t feel like they can give helpful advice (see: boundaries)

there are other healthy signs; these are just some basics

please note that it is possible for friendships to have some of these elements while still being unhealthy.  this is not a checklist for a Guarantee Of Healthy Dynamics And Stability.  it is, however, a good place to start if you’re not sure what an okay friendship with an adult looks like.

*the emotional support thing is complex: there’s nothing wrong with comforting an older friend who’s sad or grieving or having mental health struggles.  but you Shouldn’t be a person they’re Relying Upon for support - they shouldn’t be leaning on you for constant help managing their feelings/struggles.

this is bc adults and adolescents tend to be in very different places where emotional processing is concerned.  an adult will find more helpful emotional support from other adults, similar to how you might find more relatable emotional support from your peers than from adults. it’s bc of where different people are developmentally

(also, like, an 18 year old and a 17 year old are very similar developmentally.  a 30 year old and a 17 year old are not.  how much older they are makes a difference.)

an adult who depends heavily on you for support isn’t Necessarily doing so with predatory intent.  but they Are making the choice to ask an adolescent to be partially responsible for their emotional wellbeing.

you’ll see a lot of people talk abt the trauma of being the emotional support system for their parent(s) growing up (and might have experienced it yourself); similar dynamics are at play here.

2) any vegetable is better than no vegetable

The kid was picked up by an ambulance 30 minutes later.

Now as an adult working in security I get SO MANY folks- upper-middle aged mostly- coming to me to 'rat out' people they think are faking it.

I was once sent into a bathroom because a client demanded that the "fucker won't get out, so go drag them out"- I was NEVER going to do that, so I did a wellness check instead. You know who it was? A person recently released from the hospital after a car accident. They had a hole in their skull and major hearing loss. They couldn't answer the owner because they couldn't HEAR the owner.

Another time about a homeless man who got around town by kicking the ground from his wheelchair. "You know he doesn't actually need that thing, his legs work fine, it's just for pity points"- Oh, so he's not paralyzed, his wheelchair is performative? Funny story Dale, I actually know that guy, he was backed over by a truck and has chronic pain from his shattered pelvis. But sure, let's make him stand up and walk everywhere so nobody feels too bad for him and tries to help him or something.

"She doesn't need that scooter, I've seen her get out of it."

"Look how fat he is, because he just rides around and refuses to get up."

"She doesn't really need that cane- she comes here without it all the time"

i am deeply saddened by the loss of him to our community. i wish i had been able to know him better personally. i admired him a great deal. i am thankful he was here. i am glad we were both around on this earth for enough time to know each other. he made the world a richer and better place by having been here at all. i can't thank him enough.

suicide is an immensely personal and final choice. he was unhoused, disabled, and without options for a life that felt meaningfully survivable. it was his right to choose to end his life, he expressed this himself. as painful a choice as that choice is, i am glad he felt able to make it with an appreciation for life and a genuine belief in our ability to fight for a world where disabled trans people never have to make this decision out of desperation again. i am glad he went with a sense of peace and love for himself and the world.

His final words on his last post are: "Keep fighting comrades, and never lose your compassion for yourself and others."

i feel like its important to share some of ansel's posts from April and May, to provide context in his own words:

i'm sharing this because i myself am a disabled trans person. i have family support, but have also dealt with neglect, being blamed for being a "moocher," and struggling to access official resources and do things the "right way." i've feared how little the people in my life seem to understand how precarious everything feels for me being disabled and trans. how easily i could end up homeless and unemployable. every time i saw him posting about this i thought, that could be me.

please think about disabled trans people. please care about us. please fight for us.

happy pride, ansel.

This isn't part of the post. I need to tell you that if you've ever felt sad about the fact that you're not a girl, it's not too late. You can just be a girl. It's allowed. You can be a lesbian. You don't have to suffer thinking about how much you want to be the cool athletic tomboy with the short hair and flat chest, or like that girl you had a crush on in high school despite the fact that she was a lesbian. You can be her. It's not too late. It's never too late.