#asphodel

Hello, sweet anon! Thanks for the kind words about "Asphodel." It's super special to me, so that means a lot! <3

I've given their life after the story ends (before the epilogue) a lot of thought, and someday, I hope I make the time to write down some of it and put together a little series of short stories on Ao3 to kinda go along with the rest of the series.

Until then, though, let's get into it!

IMHO, life after the fall of Mandalore and Order 66 is difficult. They're both strong people who understand what it takes to put their own needs first and handle situations, and they hold it together while Satine's recuperating in Coruscant and Obi-Wan is tasked with taking Luke to the Larses on Tatooine, but once they're truly alone together.. it's messy.

As Obi-Wan is cutting himself off from the Force in an effort to survive undetected, he's experiencing symptoms that would be similar to drug withdrawal. He's not sleeping well. He's not adjusting to the climate on Tatooine well. He's, well.. he's lashing out at her and he's unintentionally being cruel at times.

And Satine's strong enough to take it, so she weathers this storm because while she doesn't understand what he's going through in terms of cutting himself off from the Force, she's just as miserable as he is. Her temper is short, perhaps non-existent. Her softness is quickly weathered away because she adapts to the harsh conditions better than he has, thanks to her upbringing and early life.

At times, they self-isolate, and since there's little actual space between them, it becomes an internal kind of war they fight alone against their deepest, most agonizing thoughts.

They both wonder if they've made mistakes.

Trips into the town bring occasional news about what's happening in other parts of the Outer Rim, and as Satine tortures herself by listening in on Mandalore's status, it eats away at her. Her appetite wanes. Her hair becomes brittle and thin. She can't sleep and the circles under her eyes give her away when she lies that she's okay. She misses Korkie, she wishes she could get to know Bo-Katan, but everything has spiraled so far out of control that she begins to believe maybe it would have been better if she had died on the floor of the Grand Salon, so she would never have had to live to see what's happened in the aftermath.

Obi-Wan takes on a callous, jaded outlook about everything at first. He tries to ignore the news when he's in town, and he keeps a distance from the locals. Satine's a little more willing to be friendly and stay informed, but he discourages it.. but not because he doesn't care.. it's because his compassion physically pains him, and he's powerless, watching things happen while knowing he can't step in and help. On nights when Satine can't sleep, he's learned to leave her be (she rejects his comfort from feelings of guilt sometimes), but he pretends he's asleep and he blames himself for everything - for Anakin's fall, for Padme's death, for the twins' losses, for the Jedi Order's destruction, for the Empire's rising, for Maul's return, and for Satine's suffering.

There is a quiet estrangement that neither will acknowledge. They look after one another the best they can, but their love takes a back seat to their individual suffering. They are like passengers on a sinking ship, holding each other afloat, thankful not to be alone as they face what feels like the constant looming threat of death.

It takes a few years, but one day, Satine and Obi-Wan Ben are in the market near the Lars family homestead and they're meandering about. Sometimes, they're feeling light-hearted enough that they talk about their memories of disguising themselves to wander around Sundari and Coruscant together, but this is a tense morning. Neither have slept well and into their 40s, the pains of middle age are beginning to sink in. But as they walk about, there is a small kerfuffle happening, and they turn to watch as Beru Lars is chasing a toddler Luke through the vendor stalls.

Luke is small, but his presence is mighty. He wears old tunics that Beru has lovingly tailored to his tiny body. Tow-headed and still round and soft from infancy, he toddles on unsteady feet through the market, but he's speedy. There's something unnatural about how fast he moves, as if he's far more advanced than he should be at that age, and as he goes, he squeals in delight, bearing a toothy smile and large blue eyes.

Ben spots him first and is stopped dead in his tracks. Satine slams into his back as she followed, distracted while looking from side to side. Together, they look out on the boy and then skirt out of his way as Luke looks up at them and exclaims, "Hewwo!" without stopping.

Beru is relentless in her pursuit, and as Luke thinks their game of chase is going to end in his favor, his mother pops up from around a corner stall and snatches him off his feet. His laughter echoes in the market, and even the other citizens who had grown tired of the small child racing through the lanes are smiling to themselves.

Life is fraught with difficulty and darkness, and a child's joy is a fleeting light of happiness.. a reminder that there are still reasons to have hope.

Satine reaches for Ben's trembling hand, and as she squeezes it, she kisses his shoulder and lets him process what he's seen in supportive silence.

That smile.. it was Padme's. He's sure of it.

And that impishness.. that was Anakin. He'd bet his life on it.

That night, after hours of ruminating on it, there is an openness in their makeshift home that is new. The split-second run-in with Luke and Beru Lars has inspired idle conversation as Satine recalls rocking baby Bo-Katan before she was sent away to Coruscant for her schooling, and memories Ben has of Anakin when he was a pathetic life form Qui-Gon insisted was the chosen one, and even stories of Korkie when he was Luke's age.

It surprises Satine when Ben opens up about the creches in the Jedi Temple, and though it takes him time and he struggles to hold it together emotionally, he confides in her about what he saw when he and Master Yoda returned after Order 66. In an attempt to commiserate, she opens up about some of the violence in Mandalore that helped solidified her pacifism.. things she had tried to forget as a young girl and then a teenager.

For the first time in a long time, their figurative armor comes off and they break down. They fall asleep, fully drained from crying and comforting each other, and to their surprise, they wake in the morning as the suns are rising - and not in the middle of the night to bad dreams or feelings of uneasiness.

It's a tiny step towards healing.

Their life together on Tatooine is not easy. Very quickly, the passion of their relationship fades as they're lifetimes away from beautiful rooms, lingerie, bottles of wine, and their pretentious public personas; but the love that was first forged in the fires of their year on the run is always there.

That whole "friends and nothing more" was always a lie, but the friendship they formed upon first meeting, supported by their mutual respect for one another and then fortified by how they loved one another, gives them a kind of peace that neither one expected.

She spared a moment of deep dismay at the thought of so many rare books being so callously destroyed, lore perhaps forever lost to the murderous thing’s tantrum. A petty evil compared to the rest of the night’s work, but an evil nonetheless.

A thought to deplore later, she chided herself.

She's like -------

Plant of the Day

Monday 8 June 2026

Growing best in a well-drained soil in full sun Asphodeline lutea (asphodel, Jacob's rod, king's spear) is perfect for a dry garden or the edge of a gravel drive. This clump-forming perennial produces tall spikes of fragrant yellow flowers in late spring.