Reaper in Paradise

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

Being anti-USA is the bare minimum for legitimate leftists I'm not even kidding

Anon bb come back i can change for you

the funniest thing about 'computer, enhance' is that it implies that everyone in those shows has their computer set to Piece Of Shit Blurry Image Mode by default for no fucking reason

computer activate Useful Mode

tearing off my shirt like a yakuza character to reveal several low-resolution printouts of $100 bills taped to my back

Yeppp. That’s why I had to add the banner. Blocking them is like whack-a-mole.

OH THATS REALLY FUNNY

found goat milk and wheat ale at the store. theres no way im NOT making a white gilgamesh tonite

fucking a girl with the aux cable strap on and she starts moaning in my voice

starts making that awful popping noise speakers make when you plug them in/unplug them while they're turned on

first person to eat a sausage an onion and a pepper together must have cummed themselves straight to death

The biggest indicator of tumblr's decline and increased anglification in the last half decade or so is that no one's sharing shit like the entirety of the hot pickle girl video anymore

I fear I will never be as excited about anything ever as she is about hot pickle

Best video on internet. I will not be taking questions thank you 💋 🥒

funniest thing about seeing tumblr mentioned on other websites is the people who are utterly confident that tumblr is exactly as it was in 2012. like we're a bug trapped in amber.

saw someone on reddit mention you gotta be careful making fun of Taylor Swift on tumblr because the Swifties will get you. there are like 8 swifties on this site and they're playing dolls in their own corner.

"careful, an SJW will call you a shitlord for saying that 🤣🤣🤣" sir we use exploding car hammers these days. in fact the exploding car hammers are even a little dated.

"the fangirls are gonna hunt you down for insulting their fave" most of the fangirls are men now.

i really like this thing where websites will have separate "log in" & "sign up" buttons and if you click "log in" it takes you to a sign-up screen anyway so you have to click "i already have an account" and then it will ask if you want to sign in with your facebook account or with instagram or linkedin or deviantart or whatever, and if you choose "username & password" it asks if you want to put in your username or use your thumbprint, and once you put your username & password it emails you a confirmation code, and once you put in the code it says "do you want to give us your phone number for future sign-ins? do you want to sign up for facial recognition? do you want to give us your bones? give us your fucking bones?