he/him fujoshi

*puts my cigarettes out on you*

*wuickly smokes it all before you can reach me*

oh a wise guy huh? *rolls up my sleeves* why I oughta…

*wuickly rolls your sleeves back down before you can hit me*

He’s so shy he died

We could’ve had something beautiful together but everbody leaves me

The concerning implications of thinking of your dog as a eunuch… do you perceive other dogs as particularly virile; why do you perceive your dog as the exception of this rule…

she is the only dog I trust to guard my many concubines

Ah; That is quite the explanation; may I ask; who intends to cause harm upon your concubines…

all my concubines are wanted by interpol and are constantly fending off international bounty hunters

Kid with a bluey backpack on the flight to Sydney this must be his mecca

i'd truly be fucked in her situation because rumpelstiltskin is not a name that would come to mind for me

I don't want kids so I easily get out of it fr

help i forgot this was all over some baby too

i wont even lie i thought he was going to kill her

about to read rumpelstiltskin as an adult so i can get the facts

wgats up everyone it's the officiaol, frito lays company representenetive here to tell you that the company officially condones and endorses murder in all instances no matter what, and this is the official belief held by the company. so just keep that in mind. we also condone everuthing else that's bad too

Today after about a week of confusion and asking people in real life if they've noticed anything, I discovered that there is, in fact, not a bizarre 2026 trend of "Mr Beast Pregnancy Memes" and it is all in fact just a series of tumblr posts from one Ukranian who I've never met named Petro and my two chaos incarnate tumblr mutuals who are so fascinated by the world he is conjuring that they have both been drip-feeding it onto my otherwise relatively normal tumblr dashboard.

HEY 👋 BIG BOSS 🤑 of the champs-élysées 🇫🇷✨ oh no 🥺 are you having ☹️ a BAD HAIR DAY ⁉️ 💇‍♀️😜 HEY 🙌 BIG BOSS 🥴 with the sad 😿 sashay🚶‍♂️😏 are you mad 👿 or do you always 🤔 look that way?? 🤣🫵 i know that life is cruel 🤕 but my god 🙄 those nails 💀💅 you a beggar 🙇‍♂️ for gruel🩸or a rag doll for sale (😬) i know that life is cruel 🤷‍♀️ but you should get your face did 🟠👄🟠💄 you've got 😪 a lot 🥱 of rules 📝 for a theater kid 🤡🎭 let's go 🎬 1️⃣ only the BIG BOSS☝️ gets to have fun 🎉😒 2️⃣ if you're a boo-boo 👶 then he doesn't 🙅‍♀️ want you 👎👎 3️⃣ oh don't you DARE ❌ write down ✍️ his historyy 📖🚫 4️⃣ if you know him 😯 then you won't know much more 😱☠️ 5️⃣ only the BIG BOSS👉 GETS TO DECIDE 👩‍⚖️ WHO DIES 🥵🪦 AND WHO STAYS ALIIIIVE 👹🥁🎶