he/him fujoshi

if i had a time machine, first thing id do is obviously kill hitler. even if germanys fascism was caused by complex socioeconomic factors itd still be worth doing for the bit. then id go even further back to the early 20th century and become one of those old timey bank robbers, when they had names like 'pretty boy floyd' and 'baby face nelson' and id make sure people knew me as 'sweet baby ray' just to see how it fucks with barbeque sauce history

Dj sepsis playing the deep cuts that get under your skin

my promising gardening career was cut short when i was mauled by a rampaging basil plant

Um actually scrub daddy is my comfort character and it physically and psychically hurts me to see you chop him up and eat him after freezing and cracking him up with liquid nitrogen while naked with big boobs?

Ill be a star

Baby sphinx trying to be like mama and waylaying travelers, but all its riddles are completely non-sensical like the ones a 1st grader would tell

id lie right to willy wonkas face. “did you drink fizzy lifting drinks” of course not. And then id hit him

This is why you won't inherit the factory.

i dont want the factory. I want to see fear in his eyes