Rami

one day you start doing laundry and then you never stop doing laundry and then you die

i like imagining that it feels good as fuck to be multiple raindrops sliding down a windowpane and then combining when you touch. that's gotta be so nice.

I’ve been reaching rock bottom by 8am lately

I think that when you're overstimulated you should appear kind of grayed out and no one should be able to interact with you like a locked character in a video game

“it’s not that deep” it’s not that shallow. now what

seeing a black and white cow is always so damn awesome it’s like Hey i know that guy.from my kindergarten abcs

having 40 minutes to leave the house is fked because 40 minutes is basically 30 minutes and 30 minutes is basically 20 minutes and 20 minutes is basically fifteen seconds. but 50 minutes? 50 minutes is an hour, and an hour? ooobh thats plany off time

Person who wants to do stuff trapped in a body that needs to lie down

hey quick PSA but “reading before bed to wind down” only works if you’re normal about books btw. if you aren’t you are going to end up awake at 2:52am after finishing the whole book just trust me on this one

you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?

“Now, bear in mind,” *I pause, allowing time for you to visualize the bear*