The whole Fat Baby Shane thing made me convinced Shane and Ilya have the biggest fattest babies ever. I don't care if they adopt or have a surrogate or Shane gets pregnant I just know their kids end up being monster babies and it would be insane except theyre both big beefy hockey players so the babies look almost normal when theyre held by them. The internet has a field day comparing pictures of Ilya holding them(in which they look like slightly bigger than normal babies) and Yuna holding them(in which the babies look like an area 51 project). Shane and Ilya still think theyre so little and honestly not heavy at all(see: big beefy hockey players) so theyre completely confused when anyone mentions that theyre gigantic. When Ilya does recognize that theyre like 95th percentile babies he is very proud

Shane my sweetest sacrificial lamb heading to the slaughter (being turned away by Ilya in Sochi)

hollanov would absolutely fuck about skipdivorce

It’s like no one even wants to talk about Shane and Ilya getting drunk together for the first time at the cottage over small table with candles lit and Shane asking earnestly “is this how dates actually go? They’re nice”. And Ilya has to Die about it and Kiss him about it a lot because Shane means it- he’s been on dates but none that felt like this like Ilya was all over him and too far away at the same time and there was all this want tangled up under the table between them and the knowledge that they are going to fuck after this and he gets to watch Ilya laugh across the table and flirt with him and Shane gets to watch Ilya watch his mouth when he sips at his beer and feel the air thicken when he puts his feet between Ilya’s, like his pulse ticking up up when Ilya takes his hand briefly and opens his palm and traces his fingers over the lines of Shane’s palms as he’s explaining a play, using Shane’s hand as paper just as an excuse to touch

counterpoint re: anya… i actually have no problem with ilya getting a dog in tlg because i have personally witnessed many such cases of the most unwell bitch you know getting a dog at the most inopportune time in their lives

“who rescued who?? 🥰🥰🥰” neither bitch you’re both poorly socialized bite risks

the huge4huge dynamic that hudcon/hollanov have going on is just sooooo juicy and delectable. big hands big biceps big pecs big thighs!!!!!!!!!! and perhaps most importantly big co- [gets hit by a bullet train]