please ignore the bio, half my plants died

The idiot asks to come here - the Queen invites him.

It’s revealed he wants to buy Greenland - that stupid and very offensive idea pisses off both Greenland and Denmark ‘cause what the actual fuck.

Trump gets pissy that we won’t sell and now cancels his trip after we’ve spent weeks planning it - and in doing so he has now pissed off the Royal House because you do not freaking cancel an invite from the Queen. That’s never happened before. It’s so rude. What the fuck.

Trump is now lashing out on our Prime Minister, saying it’s all her fault because she was being inappropriate and nasty be saying that selling Greenland is an absurd idea.

Dude, selling Greenland is the definition of absurd. First of all, you don’t freaking sell countries. Second, Greenland has self-government. It’s not like we could sell the place if we wanted to, which we definitely won’t.

Trump wanted Greenland, our Prime Minister, a lady, told him no without hesitating. Now he’s throwing a fit, acting like a baby, and the Danish politicians are not having it. Trump has pissed of the Royal House, Denmark and Greenland. Wow. Slow clap. Nice job. As if we didn’t hate you enough before.

It’s about the Lomonosov ridge and the oil that lies there, so far unclaimable by any nation, currently fought over by Canada, Russia, the USA and Denmark. The USA in particular has a very weak claim to the Lomonosov ridge with it only bordering a small part of Alaska. Whereas Greenland, Russia and Canada all have arguments to be made that it is an extension of their continental shelf. By procuring Greenland as US property/a colony they would increase the validity of their claim to the region, potentially enough that it might become officially recognised by the UN, meaning they’d gain control of that oil supply. It’s about energy security and political power (but more than that, it’s about money, because if they were truly thinking about long term energy security they’d look at renewables - not a depleting resource that’s difficult to access).

But yeah, because people don’t understand what it’s about it seems like a big stupid distraction rather than an attempt at seizing even more political power. And what’s scary is it’ll work as both, it will distract you from what’s going on at the Mexico border and if he’d made any gains with Denmark and Greenland (which fortunately he hasn’t) then it would have been a clever grab at political power and oil.

During the Second World War and the Cold War, there were many American military bases in Greenland. Bases they’ve never cleaned up after, of course, and that Denmark has only recently committed to clean up

There was also a whole secret military project planned for Greenland that the Danish government was initially unaware of, called Project Iceworm. The plan was to store 600 nuclear missiles deep in the Greenlandic ice cap and move them around through tunnels. They very much did not have Danish permission for this; officially the base they were started for that purposes was a scientific outpost.

Denmark had actually committed to not storing nuclear weapons on its soil, so when a plane crashed near a military base with four hydrogen bombs and the area got exposed to nuclear contamination, that was a pretty big scandal. When documents from the Project Iceworm thing came to light, and it became clear the Danish government had let the US military continue with it after they found out about it, that was an even bigger scandal. 

In general there’s a lot of pollution left behind from the American military bases. Apparently, they used to pour petrol in some of the lakes to get rid of mosquitos (???). One of the big concerns, though, is Camp Century, which was the main site for Project Iceworm. It was powered by a nuclear reactor and again, when it was left behind, everything was left behind. Since the ice cap is melting, there’s a worry that all that waste, nuclear and otherwise, will go into the sea…

Also, aside from having no obligation to clean up once they left somewhere, the US Military didn’t even have the obligation to inform neither Denmark nor Greenland of what they left behind, so Greenland isn’t actually sure how much waste, dangerous or otherwise, has been left behind in all sorts of places.  

Anyway, American interest in Greenland is not at all surprising, both because of oil interests and military ones. The surprising part - the absurd part, Frederiksen expressed the general feeling of the public pretty well with that word - was the notion that they could straight up buy an autonoumous region with the right to become fully independent once the nation decides it’s the right time for it (which some political parties in Greenland have been arguing should be very soon). 

1. He Went to School with Snape

2. Got taught by Snape

3. Became part of the Staff like Snape

And the Fact that he's acting like he knew shit about potions is hilarious cause you just got Snape in the corner like

Snape is 31

Hagrid is 63

Professor Mcgonagall is 56

Lupin and Sirius and Peter (3rd movie/book) 33

Dumbledore is 112

It’s the Basic Ball! A ball for the rest of the LGBT-cuties.

“It was da birdie!”