A Bit of Everything

this “bon appetit” meme has turned into some sort of bizarre telephone game where each incarnation sounds more and more different than the original. in what way does “bon appetit” sound like “osteoporosis”

i don’t know but it’s cracking me up every time i even think about it

bon appetit -> bone apple teeth -> bone ??? ??? -> osteoporosis

Together they create the full set.

tumblr black out poetry

i'm the guy who writes the books that the protagonist in supernatural horror movies frantically reads somewhere in act ii. job's pretty easy. lot of "legends of vampires have recurred all throughout human history" and "demonologists agree that the quickest way to un-summon a demon is to trap it in a cursed object". no citations of course; they don't pay me citation money. i had to learn html back in the early aughts when everyone started seeking their supernatural info on websites they found via top search engines like FINDLER and WEBSIGHT but that's died down now which is great because i didn't have it in me to pick up css. currently working on a new book about horses that are evil. it's called HORSES THAT ARE EVIL in all caps so the protagonist can find it quickly to yank off the library shelf. it will be published 35 years ago.

dont store a knife with the point facing down, it damages the blade. no, dont do that either. when you store it with the point facing up you might accidentally hurt yourself when you try to grab it. dont store a knife at all actually. your blade must never leave your hand, always ready, ruthless and waiting. you know deep down that ever since you learned the stench of blood you will never be able to cast it aside. or just get a sheath for it i guess.

I think it’s normal for people to be mad at each other sometimes even if they’re close friends or family or intimate with each other. Like I think that’s a normal and healthy part of relationships that can happen sometimes

“Why were you on Mad At Me island” because at the time I was mad at you and yet our friendship has weathered that without trouble

I went to Mad At You island because my feelings are my problem. I needed to stomp down the beach until I could sit and watch the sunrise. I built a sandcastle and did some thinking. Then I boarded the good ship You Matter To Me and sailed it all the way to meet you on the Let’s Talk Shore of I Love You Island.

I think it’s normal for people to be mad at each other sometimes even if they’re close friends or family or intimate with each other. Like I think that’s a normal and healthy part of relationships that can happen sometimes

“Why were you on Mad At Me island” because at the time I was mad at you and yet our friendship has weathered that without trouble

I went to Mad At You island because my feelings are my problem. I needed to stomp down the beach until I could sit and watch the sunrise. I built a sandcastle and did some thinking. Then I boarded the good ship You Matter To Me and sailed it all the way to meet you on the Let’s Talk Shore of I Love You Island.

black with low white spotting

Close enough welcome back Chekov's gun.

I also like the idea of showing something as a problem before it’s shown as a strength. Almost every character trait has two sides, and by showing the “bad” side first, it sets things up to not only make sense, but to also be very satisfying.

we need to team up… to put together the WB4723 48-Inch Workbench With Power Outlets and Lights… it will take all of our power… and though you are my greatest foe, i can’t do it without you !

I really can’t believe I’ve been on this hell site for 8 years

Impart me in your wisdom of ancient times

one time there was a tumblr user with the url “pizza” and she would just comment on any text post about pizza saying “omg that’s me” and then we found out she had an entire tag dedicated to saying the n word

One time somebody paid $750 for the url ‘hi’ and got deleted in less than a year for promoting weight loss scams

too much to document, but god damn we can try

Seeing that this was from 2019 is like how ancient Egypt had people who studied even more ancient versions of Egypt.

when you yell “puppy!” at a lil doge and they get happy and wag their lil tail like “yess!! i am a puppy!! a baby dog!!! thank you!!!!!!”

When you yell “puppy!!!!” At an old doge and they wag their tail and get all happy like “yes I am still a little doge thank you for noticing! !”

#every dog is puppy. all dog. no age limit on puppy. all are puppy. puppies.