it’s an acquired taste

Leaving the house is really cool because everything is very expensive and everyone’s very unpleasant to be around.

guys, if i do kill myself and never published any books or anything please copy all my best tumblr posts and arrange them into a deeply moving stream of consciousness narrative and submit it to the new yorker on my behalf. i feel like i can count on you. don't let my life and posting have been in vain

everyone needs to hate the united states with me this saturday cause im gonna lose my goddamn mind having to hear the wildly undeserving american autofellatio that is the fourth of july.

hear me when i say that just about everything good that has come out of this country has come out of it in spite of what its founders intended it to be, in spite of what it sees itself as, in spite of its stated and unstated values and goals for itself and the world. in order to love the people of the americas you have to hate the united states.

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.

i love being prevd its like getting a good grade in thoughts

Official Post of Massachusetts

noncon friendship

Coworkers

Your friend’s boyfriend

the stars on the american flag are actually asterisks for all the restrictions on the freedom it boasts

12 year old post comes back yearly like clockwork or perhaps a calendar

my 37 year old vampire girlfriend keeps telling me i simply don't understand the woes of immortality as if I didn't also own a VHS player or visit a blockbuster a few times as a kid

she keeps staring off into the distance saying those shit like "those as youthful as you know not what horrors lie in your past" even though we both know damn well she's talking about the 2008 financial crash

hard cider was invented when someone decided to make beer that tastes good instead of bad

stupid fuckin post. People have been making beer since before they even knew how to write and you think that they don’t like the way it tastes?

damn all that time and it still tastes really bad. huge L tbh