Quantum Cartographer

You have to watch the dosage.

You have to watch the dosage.

First humans ever to leave the solar system suddenly drop out of communications and the ship can't be found with any equipment. After one month of no contact their home countries start reluctantly holding funerals for the space heroes only for them all to turn up, healthy, well fed and extremely disoriented, in the middle of Tokyo, talking about alien abduction. Turns out that aliens found the poor humans straying out of their solar system, presumably lost, and took them to Alien Wildlife Rehabilitation before dumping them back in the middle of their native habitat.

I’ll bet they have cool new tattoos that turn out to be tracking devices too. Just in case these spirited individuals try to make another break for it.

... do the tats make them stupid popular, like that time scientists gave birds tracker anklets and it accidentally made them ultra fuckable

Let’s say yes. Those alien scientists are learning so much, and none of it is accurate.

'the author's barely disguised fetish' is quickly turning into another version of 'what drugs were they on when they made this?'

every time i remember that photo of the little inuk girl with her puppy i engage in inconsolable hysterics

Comfy even

dont take bird noises for granted

next time ur outside and you hear birds just think about how awesome that is and how much it would suck if they were gone

Official ornithology post

so what you're gonna do is you're gonna trim the top off a bulb of garlic, using the knife's edge to take off the tip of every individual clove, that's important. you're gonna place the garlic face-up in a square of tinfoil, drizzle with olive oil, wrap completely in foil, place in baking tray, repeat with a copious amount of garlic bulbs. you're gonna put that baking tray in an oven set to 375-400°F, for 30-50 minutes, until soft and browned. you're gonna toast some good bread, slather generously with butter and honey, maybe a tiny lil bit o' salt. and then. you're gonna SQUEEZE. OUT. THAT. ROASTED GARLIC. onto the butter honey toast. and you're gonna eat it. food stolen directly from the plate of the gods. that's what you're gonna do.

tumblr version of "you sir have won the internet. have an updoot"

man come on

The ones who killed my father, my niece, and half of my relatives should not be welcomed at the World Cup.

Please share!!!

lowkey kinda hate how all the pride flags are just stripes, can we get some shapes up in here pls

don't you mean biczechxual