My Trash Heap

All my haters become aligators when I activate my gatorinator.

you laugh now, but when my gatorinator is ready, it's all over

Having taken stock of the situation, it's not as bad as I originally thought. It's not like these crocodilians are an urgent problem, much less a representation of my own mortality. There's no ticking clock here.

Posts that have 100k gators to me.

Actually there are only 5 gators in my post, but it is an understandable mistake.

Take a look at Gators Georg here.

“is this really a hill you’re willing to die on?” wouldn’t have carried my happy ass up the hill otherwise brother

if i climbed it i am always ready and willing. Know this

being a cop can't be that taxing because they have all that energy to torment their wife and kids at the end of the day

Being demisexual and bi is funny to me. Anyone can hit it but you must suffer The Gauntlet first

You must answer me my riddles three

You must jingle your little jester hat in a tone that doth please me

thought it was a one-off thing, but i've now seen multiple pictures and videos of red-bellied woodpeckers touching other birds with their tongue at bird feeders. why are they suck little freaks?

"my very photogenic mother died in a freak accident (picnic, lightning) when i was three" like come ON how did you write the funniest sentence ever by adding a two word parenthetical. leave something for the rest of us

hey sexy. I can tell by the frequency of your blog updates that you are once again avoiding it all

Okay but now I know what I want to do of I get rich?

Donating $10 buys $1,000 of medical debt. This is real, it works, and we’ve done it ourselves. You can too.

As of June 29, 2024, the charity is still active under a new name, Undue Medical Debt

Signal Boost!!!

If you’re Catholic this is a great thing to do for the Jubilee year by the way. Forgive debts and set captives free!

shoutout to girls who do not understand the difference between ‘the bit’ and ‘waging psychological warfare’

"Sex is what makes us human" is stupid. Almost every species fucks. Humans are the only species that jumps motorcycles over school buses that are on fire. Some other things too probably

noooo trans person don’t mistake your dysphoria-based apathy towards transition and your assumption that it can’t make you more happy with yourself as radical acceptance of your body that proves you don’t need (or more internally, deserve) hormones and gender affirming clothes, nothing will really happen but god you could be so much more fulfilled and could stop whenever you want if you don’t like it… crossdress in your room TODAY

Look if I ever timetravelled a little medieval guy, let’s go with Ælfric of Eynsham, I’d introduce him to grits and a penicillin drip, and then reverently seat him in front of a nice desktop PC already loaded to Wikipedia. I’d say quietly “we love this a lot.” I’d put it on his own page so he could tell me what’s wrong about it bc I think correcting people would be enjoyable. Then I’d click over to the Big Bang page. You think a 10th century abbot wouldn’t love the Big Bang?? Bro he wrote De temporibus anni he’s gonna love the Big Bang.