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the mexican football team has a 17 yrs old player and one of the funniest outcomes of this is that he cannot appear in any ad for gambling or drinking so he only appears in candy and milk advertisements. his first world cup and he's not even legally allowed to drive. his nickname is "morita" (little berry). he's three apples tall.
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I really can and will blame the 9-5 for everything. "We're in a loneliness epidemic" well, we have to spend a third of our day interacting with people in a professional way that makes forming real friendships difficult and then we're peopled out by the time we're done. "People are eating more and more unhealthily" people have to spend more than a third of their day doing work related tasks and they don't want to spend their tiny amount of free time making food. "People aren't involved in their local communities" after spending more than a third of their day doing work related things people are tired and also all those community events take place during normal working hours. "People need to get more hobbies" after spending more than a third of their day working, people are TIRED and don't want to do anything that takes yet more energy. "Literacy is dying" to maintain your critical thinking skills you need to read/watch things that make you think and after spending more than a third of your day doing work related stuff you are TIRED and don't want to expend even more brainnpower. "People need to get outside more" People. Are. TIRED. Because they have to spend all of their time working or preparing for work or recovering from work or doing all the chores they couldn't stay on top of because of work. I can blame fucking anything on having to work, it is truly the root of all fucking evil.
Hey OP, love your scalding take here; don't forget about commutes.
Once you factor in commute times (which even for short distances can be grotesquely inflated due to the fact that so many people are all commuting at the same time, but that's a different conversation) many people are actually devoting upwards of 10-12 hours a day on "work related tasks."
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I cant go to my local libary anymore because last year when I stopped by a librarian was reading a book I wrote under a pen name years ago. This book sold under 10k copies and I've literally only heard people talk about this book online *if* I went looking for it so I went up to them and tried to start a conversation like "oh hey I've heard of that book is it good?" Like hoping for some real feedback and she goes "yeah I love reading things by queer writers" and in a moment of terror I was like "oh but- hold on, I thought the author was some old hetero white guy?!" A thing I thought because I used my own dead grandpa's picture for the author pic because grandpa never had internet. I fake looked it up and was like "yeah if he was queer its not public?" And without looking up this absolute unit goes "oh the author bio is obviously fake. I'd bet my left leg the author is a west coast millennial non-binary queer who has never lived on the east coast." And then proceeded to rattle off a dozen linguistic flourishes that are specfic to the pacific northwest that are in the book and several that are nearly ubiquitous in the state where I said my pen name lives that are somehow completely absent from the book.
So you know. Got read for fifth and didn't even find out if she liked it.
"'I don't know' isn't an answer" alright man then I'll just. Fuckin. Enter my philosophical mind-palace and check the fuckin akashic records. Real quick lemme just catch and cook and eat the Salmon of All Knowledge. Tell me ur question again so I can real quick climb to the highest branches of the Yggdrasil and lay it at the feet of Freda the all-wise Queen of Heaven. Dickhead.
Blaseday Fan Fest is a Blaseball fan event that I'm running to celebrate the sixth anniversary of the Return of Blaseball, incorporating fanwork prompts and a game rewatch as well as a poll-based "election"! Everyone is welcome to join in!
The event will take place on July 20 (Blaseball's sixth blirthday), with live group watch and fanwork submission on that date, though election polls will be posted one week before to allow the results to be released on 7/20. The (loose) deadline for fanworks is any time on July 20, 2026, anywhere on the immaterial plane. To submit works, post them (or a link) by that date and use the tag #BDFF26 work so they can be reblogged to this page! Also, #BDFF26 info will be the general info tag for the event. More info (rules, helpful links & resources, etc) under the readmore!
Rules
Be respectful. Blaseball encourages multiple interpretations — if another interpretation isn't to your taste, don't yuck their yum!
No use of generative AI. Respectfully, if you aren't willing to put any time into making it, why would others want to waste any time on looking at it?
Any type of fanwork goes. Fanwork can be of any medium, size, or completion status. No need to use the prompts if you don't want to, as they're just suggestions!
Use content warnings as needed. As a general rule, if you wouldn't want your boss or teacher to see it at work or school, PLEASE tag fanworks accordingly.
Have fun!
Elections
Four polls: one "decree" equivalent, two raffle-style "blessing" equivalents, and one poll with a percentage-based objective to give us a chance to do some organized strategic voting!
Election polls and results will be tagged #BDFF26 election
Election polls open on July 13 at 9 AM PDT / UTC-7 (what time is that for me?) and will run for one week
Results will be posted on July 20 at 3 PM PDT / UTC-7 (what time is that for me?)
Fanworks / Prompts
Feel free to use these (or not) at any time — these are just suggestions to give inspiration to anyone who needs it:
Have Hope / Released / Weather / Pre-History / Ballpark / Memory
Tag works as #BDFF26 work so I can reblog it to this page! Any kind of work is eligible, including music, propaganda, wiki page, explainer or "oral" history, spreadsheet or other data visualization, podcast (discussion or fiction), sportscast, podfic, or anything else you could think of. (If you're doing a podfic or a cover of a song, make sure you credit the original creator please!) Again, the deadline is any time on July 20, anywhere on earth, so if it's still July 20 in any time zone, it's still on time! (You can still post after that, I just may not reblog it here.)
Livewatch
We will be livewatching a game via Before as a group at (TIME TBD i'll edit this post once it's decided) on July 20. Specific game and time will be determined via a combination of tumblr polls and random chance (e.g. dice roll, or something similar). Once the liveblog begins, post along in the #BDFF26 live tag!
Polls to help decide what game we watch will be posted within the next few days (under the #BDFF26 info tag). Those will be used to decide mostly what season the game is from; likely the specific teams playing will be chosen via random number generator because I want smaller teams to have a chance to be chosen as well. Also, I'm just one person, so we'll only be watching one game as an official part of the event.
Alright, that's all! Thanks for reading, Blaseball fans! I hope you're all as excited as I am!
Helpful Links and Resources: Blaseball wiki / Before / reblase / player viewer / Blaseball Reference / BNN site / SIBR site / SIBR project list / SIBR's Whichtool page / Inside a Blaseball Q&A directory / the garages bandcamp / Hetrea Skye's minis / Blaseball site / Blaseball0, Blaseball2 (archived) / official YouTube, tumblr / (mostly) archived official twitters: Commissioner (@Blaseball), Microphone (@BlaseballMic), Anchor (@blaseround); non-archived official Lootcrates (@ILBLootcrates) twitter (must be logged in to view) / Blaseball Beat issues on the wiki / Morpho art books via Internet Archive / art reference resource list / @creatingblackcharacters website
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
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