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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr

tannertan36
art blog(derogatory)

Andulka
Xuebing Du

Product Placement
Mike Driver
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Today's Document
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

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@mlerpwonders

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No getting up now
writing a canon divergent fix-it fic while also shaking my head to show that i actually really like the canon's tragic narrative and am not trying to say i think it would be better if canon was like this
you know what. sure
The purest expression of being a Warhammer fan

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why do i need to defend my master's thesis. it's got hands it can defend itself
It's got hands???
look sometimes you have a deadline. you're tired. you pull an all nighter. you make a deal with an eldritch entity. stuff happens
The worst types of cookbook:
The Ottolenghi - it is vital that you use 1g of this very expensive ingredient. It comes from a 500g bag with a one-week shelf life.
The time machine - 15-minute recipe! First, leave to marinate overnight...
The dishwasher - one-pot recipe! Now decant your ingredients and wipe out your pot. And again. And again. And again.
The optimist - cook the onions until caramelised (2 minutes).
The kindergarten teacher - get one nommable little tree of broccoli and bosh that into boiling water. Delish!
The brand names only - ingredients: Ritz crackers, Philadelphia cheese, Cool Whip, orange Jell-o...
The 1950s palate - use one (1) clove of garlic and a small pinch of chili flakes (omit if preferred).
The why bother with a cookbook - to make beans on toast, gently heat a tin of beans and put on top of freshly buttered toast.
I'm still thinking about the guy who saw me realize my wheelchair wouldn't fit in the elevator because he (also a wheelchair user) was already inside it and immediately quipped, "This elevator ain't accessible enough for the both of us."
i'll always meet someone described as not friendly, and it's just a person who doesn't smile or talk a lot unwarranted. I feel like I have to continuously explain to people that this is not inherently hostile behavior

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i posted this on twitter already but i need to spread the chris christodoulou gospel
but no really the music is amazing in this game
Story Time:
Working in retail is really fun, and the times when major fuck-ups happen, they can be either anxiety-attack inducing, or make it possible to get through the rest of your god-awful shift with a smile depending on the customer. My all-time favorite absolute fuck-up is as follows:
This kind woman is just doing her thing. She scans her membership card from her keychain. The register beeps to acknowledge the scan. We continue as usual. Neither of us notice right away, but after I’ve scanned a few more items, I hear a very quiet, “Um,” from the lady, very polite. I look at her. She is looking at the screen of my register, blinking. I, too, look.
And lo and behold. There is a charge of over four-thousand dollars ($4,000) worth of garlic bread staring us in the face. There are no words for a minute. We’re just… in awe. How did this happen? How the hell did this happen?
She didn’t even have garlic bread in her cart.
I sputter a partial apology - I was incapable of forming actual sentences in the moment - and try to void the garlic bread. Since there was no garlic bread to scan, I try to manually remove $4,000-some from this transaction.
Well, the registers don’t like it when you try to void off more than five dollars ($5) from a transaction, so naturally it pings my manager for confirmation, but she’s not by her pager.
At this point, both myself and the lady are just… dumbfounded. She’s not even mad. I’m not even all that embarrassed. Both of us are just looking at the screen. There’s a bit of laughter, but it’s mostly just… confusion.
I have to call through the whole store for my manager on the intercom because she’s not answering. She shows up, ready to override and void it, when she too, sees what exactly is being voided.
“What… did you do?”
“I genuinely. Have literally. No. Idea.”
She voids it, and I go to finish the transaction and tell the woman her total (minus the garlic bread). My register pings. It tells me that she hasn’t scanned her membership card. Odd. I distinctly remember her doing that. The woman goes to scan her card again, and I notice that her library card is stuck to her membership card. I tell her gently, and she separates the two and scans her card.
My manager, hovering nearby still, sees this and says, “I think it mistook the barcode of her other card for garlic bread, and the remaining digits were read as the price.”
And that’s when the laughter really came over us. There were no hard feelings at all. In fact, the woman was incredibly glad that the receipt still showed the garlic bread and the voiding of. I will remember it until the end of time, my only regret in the entire situation being that I didn’t take a damn picture, because she has proof and I don’t. But I swear to God it happened.
TDLR; Library Card Charged $4,000 of Garlic Bread.
that’s just how valuable library cards are. each one is worth at least $4000 of garlic bread
A picture is worth a thousand words, a library card is worth $4000 worth of garlic bread, if we can figure out how many words the average library card can check out at once, we can probably work out a picture-to-garlic bread conversion here, too.
*elaborate Magical Girl transformation sequence when a pawn turns into a queen*
things that happened in the clone wars that feel like they're from fanfiction
(i know there are like a milion of these kinds of lists but i wanted to make my own bc i can't get over this show)
palpatine is almost eaten by a kaiju
"unhand me, brigand!"
the Wolfpack literally writes 'Plo's Bros' on their ships
Savage Opress meets a talking snake and they have a buddy cop comedy thing going on
Jabba's uncle
obi-wan has an ex-girlfriend who literally dies in his arms
"rex. it's time for the thing." "...we don't have time for that, sir." "yes we do"
"did you at least tell Padme I said hi?"
the freaking force gods
r2 out-sasses a battle droid
obi-wan: "last time i was here i was chained to a pole." cody: "that sounds.... entertaining"

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I will NEVER deactivate. and how DARE you
@ralfmaximus Showers that will kill you
Holy shit I thought this was a Sims bit or someone playing with CAD software, but the last few seconds knocked me out
@thebibliosphere I'm pretty sure you are the appropriate recipient for other people's terrifying home renovation choices