eve only ate that apple because it was funny

i don’t want to be angry anymore i’m never going to hate again unless someone says something really stupid or if i see something i don’t like at all or maybe just whenever i feel like it

scientists are experimenting on cross-breeding a crab and a cheetah; things could go sideways real fast

got a common cellar spider addicted to facebook shorts

Betrayed and backstabbed by your scheming evil advisor? Psch. Skill issue. Absolute amateur problem. Just hire two of them and reward them for snitching on each other. Just make sure that neither of them is gay or they'll just end up hate-fucking each other and fucking you over all the same.

"hire two evil advisors but make sure neither of them is gay" are you hearing yourself right now. be serious

“Did the journal factory explode?” Yes because I bombed it. #PutYoBusinessOnTheInternet

watching iron lung in actual good quality but it got too scary so we put up images of markiplier smiling and looking happy in the corner

if i had a husband id perform surgery on him

i've ran out of which could mean nothings. i think this just might mean everything

doctor just prescribed me music really loud

every $30 purchase is like a razor sharp arrow stuck firmly in my muscular wearwolf back

was i normal / forgivable / worth saving at the party last night? be honest haha 😂 🙈

creature fact: you have just been bited